Clash by Night Page #4

who didn't tear a woman down.

- He made her feel confident.

- Confident?

Sure of herself.

More than she was, not less.

He's the only man I ever knew

who gave me that feeling.

Which makes me what?

A sparrow in a treetop.

I never had any complaints.

- You're crude, Earl.

- I never claimed to polish.

How confident could I make you feel?

- Last time I looked, you had a wife.

- Next time you look, maybe I won't.

- That's what they all say.

- Mae...

...what do you really think of me?

You impress me as a man who needs

a new suit of clothes or a new love affair.

But he doesn't know which.

You can't make me any smaller.

I happen to be preshrunk.

Do you want another drink?

- No.

- You're tough to please.

- I pick and I choose. My privilege.

- That politician.

- That was a smart pick.

- Meaning what?

Don't kid me, baby.

I know a bottle by the label.

Peace on earth.

I'm exhausted.

We had a wonderful time.

- Did you commune with nature?

- That ain't funny. Come on...

I seem to be the only one around here

capable of taking a joke.

- Let's call it a day.

- Are you bored?

I can't get Papa out,

and he's really getting loaded.

- I'd like to leave, if you don't mind.

- The day's young. Let's enjoy ourselves.

A few drinks, a dance, a hug. What's wrong

with that? Or am I in the wrong pew?

Waiter, bring three more stinkies.

Could you let me have

a couple dollars? I ran out.

Here.

- Don't take it.

- Why not, Mae?

What's the matter, my money got germs?

Take it, Jeremiah.

- Don't touch that money.

- I gotta pay Papa's bar bill.

Big mouth, fast dollar. What are you

trying to buy, the world's approval?

On your way, dust.

- Tired?

- A headache.

Earl, I don't understand him

talking to you like that.

I'm fed up with Earl, his wife,

his moods, his money, his everything.

He's fine for a ride on a roller coaster,

but I'm tired of it.

- Earl just needs...

- Earl needs, Earl needs.

- Good night, Jerry.

- Good night.

- Get something for that headache.

- Yeah, a new head.

Jerry, I don't want you

to say anything now...

...but if you still want to marry me,

I'd try being the kind of a wife you need.

I'd try to make you happy,

if you still want me.

- But you said on the boat...

- I've changed my mind.

- Want a cigar?

- Yeah, thanks.

- Cigar? Don't cost nothing.

- No, thanks.

Cigar...?

Jerry, our glasses are empty.

- Come fill them up.

- Okay, I'll be right there.

Mae. Here, I want you to meet...

Just a second, I'll be right... Mae.

What do you want to drink?

- From San Diego and his wife.

I hope you'll be very happy.

- Thank you.

- Let's toast to the happy bride and groom.

Hey, somebody ought to give a toast.

Come on, somebody give a toast.

I'm gonna give a toast.

Hey, somebody ought to make a toast.

Come on, everybody.

- Little Bee, you're cockeyed.

- Who says I'm cockeyed? I ain't...

Joe, am I cockeyed?

Get off that table

before you break your neck.

A toast to the bride and groom.

A toast to the bride and groom.

- I am gonna make a speech.

- Bravo, bravo.

Papa.

Quiet, everybody.

God, he made enough fish for everybody.

And he made enough wine for everybody.

Yeah.

And he made enough love for everybody.

So fish, wine, love for everybody.

Jerry, we hope you'll be very happy.

- Thank you, thank you.

- And a happy forever after.

- Congratulations, Jerry.

- Thank you. Earl, ain't she wonderful?

She's the one who sticks to the ceiling.

I can see you, Jeremiah...

...three kids and an oven full of bread.

- Congratulations.

I wish you both all the happiness plus.

By the way, I ain't kissed

the lovely bride yet. Do you mind, Mrs. D?

- How about a dance, Mrs. D'Amato?

- Go ahead, Mae.

- I'd love to.

- Earl, come on, have a good time.

Everybody, have a good time.

- Have a cigar? Compliments of the house.

- Smoke them yourself, uncle.

I must've lost 10 pounds

before it was over.

Joe here goes to the hospital with me.

"Take it easy, Jerry," he says.

"You ain't the first guy to have a kid.

There've been other fathers before."

I give him a cigar, he can't smoke it.

I give him a drink, he gets sick.

- Sympathetic.

- That's right, sympathetic.

Mae can't eat, I can't eat.

She gets a pain, I get a pain.

And all the time I keep wishing

she had some of this beef of mine.

If it had gone on one more day,

I'd have had the baby myself.

Morning, nephew.

- Well, hello, Uncle Vince. How you been?

- Ask a certain nephew of mine's wife.

- And how's the little baby?

- Wonderful.

- Feed her, keep her warm?

- Why, sure.

Don't worry about who keeps your uncle

warm? Don't worry about who feeds him?

- My own sister's son.

- Why don't you go to work.

Sure, why don't I get married?

Live in the lap of luxury, why not?

Who kicked me out?

Who was the heartless woman...

...drove your closest relative

out into the night?

All Mae said was take down

them dirty pictures, and you wouldn't.

All Mae said.

Never thought I'd see the day...

...a woman could lead

my own sister's son by the nose.

- Cut it out, Uncle Vince.

- Around by the nose, yes, sir.

No self-respect. Always said, women

and horses, use the whip on them.

- Can't spare a few dollars, can you?

- Well...

Couldn't call it a fortune,

could you?

All right, Uncle Vince.

I gotta go. I'll see you later, fellas.

Bye, Jerry.

There he goes, paterfamilias,

no manhood left.

- Why don't you turn on the lights?

- Too much for her eyes.

Gloria, darling.

I think I'll take Gloria.

That's it, sweetie.

You're such a doll.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you little darling, you little darling.

You're sweet...

Look. There it is, darling.

The moon's coming up.

Isn't it beautiful?

Couldn't pay no admission price

nowhere for a sight like that.

Don't smother her with kisses.

- What are you doing?

- I was just showing Gloria the moon.

I'll put her back in the crib.

Ain't she too hot, Mae?

Look at her sweating. Maybe she's sick.

She isn't sick.

She's a normal baby, and babies sweat.

Earl says Chinese people

have babies right in the field.

Well, I might try that the next time.

- You want a beer?

- No, thanks.

- He's coming up tonight.

- Who?

Earl.

- Keep cool, Papa.

- Oh, it's hot.

What I hear, he's been on a real tear.

It's funny how a divorce

will affect a guy...

...even when he wants

to get rid of his wife.

Mr. Earl will recover, if I know Mr. Earl.

Mae, you know what?

- You make me real happy.

- I'm glad, Jerry.

- Oh, I'm so hot.

- Don't you feel good, honey?

I wish I could've had the kid for you.

I feel fine, but it's just so hot.

I'm sorry.

Papers say we're due

for some cool weather.

Well, the papers ought to know.

You sure you don't want a beer?

I don't see why you had to invite

anybody here tonight.

- The house isn't made up, and I feel like...

- But it's only Earl, honey.

Feel kind of sorry for him.

I got you, I got Gloria,

you know what I mean?

Don't bother about it.

It's just that I'm so irritated with the heat.

Rate this script:3.5 / 2 votes