Clash by Night Page #8

It's always someone else's. Why?

Because they're soft.

And we're tough, we're hard.

If someone suffers because of us,

that's just too bad.

That's the way life is.

How many times have I told myself that?

Nothing counted but me,

my disappointments, my unhappiness.

I married Jerry, moved into his house,

used his money and had his child, and yet...

Yet I was never his wife.

You're someone's wife

when you belong to them.

I never belonged to anybody.

Never?

I thought I was being honest.

I thought I wasn't lying, but I was.

I said to the world, this is what I am,

take me or leave me...

...so that it was always on my terms

they had to accept me.

It was a trick.

Don't you see, Earl? It was a trick to avoid

the responsibility of belonging to someone.

What are you giving me?

An hour ago you were in love.

I don't know what

the word means anymore.

Not the way we use it.

You knew yesterday...

...on the beach.

Love because we're lonely,

love because we're frightened?

Love because we're bored.

What was it with me, boredom?

The lady of the house

needed a little entertainment?

Go ahead, say it. I can take it.

You went off on a toot.

Mae, you've got the shakes.

You're trying to back out, and there

isn't any place to back out to.

Crawl back to Jerry.

How long will it last?

One month, two months...

...and the old music in the jukebox

will start all over again.

Oh, sure it will.

Duties, obligations, responsibilities,

out the window they'll go.

And you'll be wanting me again,

or somebody like me.

No, Earl. I won't.

A chump, that's what you played me for.

Wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

Believe what you want.

I sure can pick them, can't I?

I'm real lucky with women.

Mrs. D. With the blue, blue eyes.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Jerry's got the kid.

That's the combination you want, ain't it?

But what if Jeremiah don't feel forgiving?

What if he says, "Beat it, dust"?

That's the chance I'll have to take.

Oh, sure.

But you figure, "Earl, he'll wait."

I got news, honey.

The minute I'm out

of this house, I'm gone.

I know.

You may lose both of us.

Are you willing to gamble

for stakes like that?

I have to.

What do you want?

You ain't gonna get Gloria,

if that's what you came here for.

You ain't, and Earl ain't.

That isn't what I came for.

Then what do you want?

To rip me up again?

I almost killed Earl, ain't that enough?

Don't stand there. There ain't nothing

to wait for and nothing to say.

Jerry, I...

I know I can't change what I did, but...

- Won't you let me try to tell you...?

- I don't want to listen to nothing.

I got a boat to worry about,

a living to make and a kid to raise.

Is she...?

- Is she all right?

- She's asleep.

I couldn't get through my thick head

that you never loved me.

Being safe, being taken care of,

that's all you wanted.

My mistake was saying, "All right, yeah.

That's the way she loves me,

that's the way I'll take it."

People change. You find out

what's important and what isn't.

What you really want.

Earl's what you really want.

You said so.

No. No, he isn't.

Maybe I thought so, but he isn't.

I trusted you, that's what

sticks in my craw.

You made nothing out of me.

I wasn't your husband, I was nothing.

Am I supposed to forget that?

Can't you?

No matter what I did,

how I tried to make up for it...

...you'd never forget?

Forget what? Living in my house,

loving another man?

Maybe you're right.

Maybe certain things are unforgivable.

You ain't fooling me again,

Mae, are you?

You ain't trying to come back

because there ain't no place else to go?

- Jerry, I...

- Don't say anything.

Don't make no promises.

I'd have to trust you.

That's what the terrible thing is.

You gotta trust somebody.

There ain't no other way.

Go get Gloria. She's inside.

A boat ain't no place for a baby.

Go take your child home.

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