Class Rank

---

If we renew our contract,

we will get a 14% discount.

As the board's foreign language

committee rep, I recommend

that we renew the Oui!

Contract because of the excellence of

the textbooks but also because

we will save the taxpayers

valuable money.

Thank you, Mr. Del Tufo.

I now open the issue to

the public before we vote.

Yes, Bernard.

Thank you, Ms. Parikh.

Unless the goals of this board

are for us students to become

expatriates in Paris, Montpellier,

or some Franco African nation,

it's plainly irresponsible

to indoctrinate us

with the French language.

As I stressed in 2014,

Chinese is the language of the future.

I implore the board to fulfill

its elected civil duty

and do what's in the best

interest of the students

stop teaching French and

begin teaching Chinese!

Let's put it to a vote then.

All those in favor of us

renewing our contract with Oui!

Say 'ay.'

All those opposed say ' nay'.

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

The "ays" have it.

If my role is to be town crier,

so be it.

I will inform my fellow citizens

of this deprivation of duty

in an op-ed.

Our next order of business

is the awarding of our future

leaders of Livingston.

This is what happens

when you teach French!

C'est la vie.

You're coming down ten.

C'mon ten.

Good evening, Grandpa.

How was the meeting?

As usual, it was an insult to reason.

You should accompany me sometime

and lecture these amateurs

officiants untrue public service.

No thank you.

I couldn't stand the indigestion I get

from watching those nincompoops

who replace your grandmother

Well, I just lost.

You want to play the winner?

Do wish I had a moment to spare

but I must reside to my room

to draft a fulminating letter

in regards to the board's

continuously sinister appropriations.

Well, find a little time

to do your homework.

Priorities, Grandpa.

To all concerned citizens

of The Township of Livingston

The time to be apathetic has ceased.

Rise up and join me in

fighting the policies

of the Board of Education.

Rise up.

Good morning.

Morning, sweetie.

How'd you sleep?

I slept fine, and you?

Glad one of us slept.

Oh, did you see the skirt

I brought home from the set?

Yeah, I did. Thank you.

The show's stylist says it is

very popular with teenagers.

I thought maybe you'd like

to wear it to school today.

I like it a lot, but I think

I'm gonna stick with jeans.

They're are a little bit more

comfortable to study in.

Alright, maybe on the weekend.

Yeah or maybe for my next

recital or something.

No, I'm not going to call him back.

You tell him the role is the

rapist and if he doesn't want

to play it. There's a

thousand actors in New York

who would love to have

'Law and Order SVU'

on their credits. What's next?

That's it for your to-do list.

Anything else?

What's the call time tonight?

8:
15

We got to move Mariska's

callback by 30 minutes.

She's gotta another

Joyful Heart Fundraiser.

What's next?

Weekend!

No, I'm not going to L.A.

We weren't even nominated.

I only do awards shows,

I'm going to win.

Morning, Bernard.

I have an op-ed that

cannot be ignored.

We have a lot of

submissions this week.

I can't guarantee it can

get into the publication.

I implore you to do your best.

Save the diatribes

about the farmers market

and spaying local pets for

a time when the future

of this town isn't in jeopardy.

Well, I see what I can do.

I may have to cut it

a little for space.

If edits are mandatory,

I leave it to your journalistic wisdom

to harness the true

spirit of the piece.

Thank you Bernard.

I bid you good day.

Bye, bye.

Hello, junior class.

I'd like to remind

everyone that the student

council meets after school

every other Tuesday.

During the first two marking

periods we had pretty low

attendance, so hopefully we can

pick it up for the rest of the year.

And if you have any

suggestions for myself

or any other elected officer

please fill out an suggestion sheet

and put it the box in the library.

Thank you, everyone

and good luck today.

Thank you, Veronica.

As you all know,

today you will be receiving

your class ranking

from 1 to 382.

Based on your freshman and

sophomore year G.P.A.'s

as well as your G.P.A.

from the first two marking periods

of this year.

If your last name begins with

"A" through "G"

please see Mrs. Greenberg at

the front of the auditorium.

H through Q see me in the back

and R through Z,

see Mr. Purdy up here on stage.

Good luck everybody.

Neil Keller

Anne Kimberg

Klein

Veronica Krauss.

Drew Kunin

John LaRue

Number 2?

Emma Lazareth

I don't know what to tell you,

Veronica.

You and the #1 ranked student

have identical transcripts,

except for the fact that

he or she got an A in gym

in the second marking period of

your sophomore year and you got

an A-minus.

That marking period I had

tendinitis in my hand

from writing thousands of

thank you letters on behalf

of the Special Olympics.

It hindered my ability

to climb the rope in gym.

Furthermore, I was under the

impression that volunteering

for the Special Olympics

was extra credit.

But it wasn't.

But it was implied that it was.

Why else would I have volunteered?

I would hope because you like

to help the less fortunate.

The year is not over what if?

What if #1 was to get caught cheating?

The ranks are final.

Or to die? What if they were to die?

Veronica, we're not going to

wish harm to another student.

There is absolutely nothing

we can do to change this.

Principal Greely,

I not sure if you're aware this,

I'm sorry Veronica.

72% of white females

accepted to Yale University

graduate #1 in their class.

And we grade on a curve.

By being #2, I have a 72% chance

of not getting into Yale.

I need to be #1.

It's not up to me. It's the system.

Well the system sucks.

I suck.

# 2 sucks.

Your total is $51.76.

Would you like help out

to your car today, honey?

No.

Paper or plastic?

Neither. I use canvas.

Total is $16.14.

That is correct.

I did the tabulation in my head

and it concurs with your register.

Alright,

thank you for shopping at ShopRite.

Thank you.

However, I could not help but

notice you did not offer me

assistance out to my vehicle.

Is it because I am younger

then and more abled body

than the previous customer?

You're a new ShopRite employee,

aren't you?

That's right.

Is this your car?

Yes.

It's a bicycle.

I will give you the

benefit of the doubt

and assume you've never taken physics.

Because by placing all the

weight of the groceries on my

my left handlebar,

you are disturbing the equilibrium

of my bicycle.

By following proper riding laws,

as I always do.

I will surely veer to the left,

potentially causing harm

to myself or to others.

Dude, what's your deal?

I was merely trying to give

you a lesson in Newton's law.

Good day.

Next customer please.

Salutations, Postal Worker Wesley.

"B", man I told you,

just call me Wesley.

May I have my mail, please?

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