Clear History Page #3

I got a brand-new car.

I wanna drive you in it tonight. Come on.

I'd really rather we take my car.

Come on. Get in. We're going.

I'm gonna show it to you.

Do you see how the doors open up?

I know how they open up, it was my idea.

What do you mean, it was your idea?

Well, I mean, you know,

I had that idea a long time ago.

Well, then you should sue the company.

- Watch this.

- Hi, Frank.

I'm ready, ready for a

nice big meal on you.

- Oh, on me?

- Absolutely.

I said one drink.

I didn't say drinking for the whole night.

What? Are you kidding? It's my birthday.

You have to pay for my... Come on.

Surprise!

My f***ing nose!

- I'm so sorry.

- Oh, Rolly...

Who is this guy?

- Look, you know...

- You got me.

I'm really sorry.

Honestly, I just got frightened, I guess.

I saw a face and I lashed out.

You're frightened of a black man.

Just say...

I don't think so.

I don't think I was frightened

of the black man. No.

It could've been any black

person standing there.

It could've been a black old lady

saying, "Hey, surprise."

Are you gonna punch her

in the f***ing nose?

- I don't...

- A little kid?

A dwarf, a black dwarf?

Have you ever seen a black dwarf?

Yeah. I would've punched

a white dwarf, too, and a white old lady.

You wouldn't have punched a white dwarf.

No one punches white dwarfs.

They play around.

They pick them up.

You never punch a white dwarf in the face.

- What, I have dwarf racism?

- Of course, there's always dwarf racism.

So you mean the white dwarf

is cuddly and cute...

- White people are afraid of black dwarfs.

- I don't know.

I would find a black dwarf

just as cuddly as the white dwarf.

I think you're way off base there.

You'd pick them up

and punch them in the f***ing face.

I'm really sorry, and I

beg your forgiveness.

We're good?

Very nice.

Honestly, you guys are great.

- Happy birthday, Rolly!

- To my boy Rolly.

Okay. All right. Okay.

- Pretty good party.

- Rolly deserves it.

You know a lot of people

come into my diner,

I gotta tell you, that Rolly DaVore

is the nicest guy I know.

Yeah. Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- Here, it's for you.

Oh, Wendy.

You know, that's one of

the benefits of breaking up,

I didn't have to spend as much this year.

Looks like you didn't spend anything.

I didn't. Yeah, I just was cleaning out

my drawer at home.

How's the job hunt, anything?

Still looking. There's nothing.

I gotta get out of that diner.

I smell like fried clams. I can't take it.

- Well, I'll keep my ears open.

- Thanks, thanks.

Cake, there's gonna be cake, right?

- I guess.

- Okay. Some dancing?

- No.

- Yeah, come on.

P*ssy.

You can't sleep

in the same bed with a woman?

No. I mean, I enjoy the sex part,

but the sleeping part I'm not good at.

I need the space in the bed,

and I feel like the air is contaminated

from the breathing.

They're shedding skin cells.

Skin cells?

What are you, a f***ing microscope?

I just wanna close my eyes and go to bed.

What else is there to do?

Happy birthday, Rolly.

It's Jennifer.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm not kidding you.

I lost a lot of weight.

I just can't get over what I'm seeing.

It's me, it's just a lot less of me.

That is incredible.

It is incredible. It

changed my life, Rolly.

Everything good. I got a new job.

I got... I'm engaged to be married.

Really?

I'm engaged to be married, yeah.

I'm surprised.

Why?

You know, you could have

a lot of suitors now.

Go off and get engaged

to the first guy you meet?

You're in demand.

Did he like you when you were fat?

He never talked to me when I was fat.

Okay, there you go.

See, he's superficial, just like me.

I wouldn't have dated you

when you were fat either.

- I'm sorry to say.

- What a terrible thing to say.

Yeah, I know, it's terrible but it's true.

It's true.

Who is he?

His name is Jaspar.

He's the guy you...

In the face when you walked in.

He's the guy over there.

- Rolly, how are you?

- Hi, Carl.

Did you get that birthday

e-mail I sent you?

Well, you know, Carl,

generally, I gotta tell you,

I don't reply to birthday e-mails.

You know, "Thank you very much."

"So kind of you. Oh, you remembered."

- It turns the birthday into a job.

- Yeah.

The birthday shouldn't be a job.

We should be celebrating a birthday.

We shouldn't be going, "Oh, it's my birthday.

I have to go to work."

- Yeah, you're right.

- You know what I mean?

- Hey, Rolly.

- Hey.

- Hey, Rolly.

- Hey, Wendy.

- Great party.

- Thank you for the shoelaces.

You're very welcome.

She got me shoelaces for my birthday.

Big f***ing cocksucker.

Let me ask you somethin'!

What the f*** is that thing

you're building over there?

You wanna have a cup of coffee, sober up?

That was my daddy's place, Mac.

Yeah, well, it's not his now.

"Well, it's not his now."

Not his now 'cause of guys like you.

You're f***ing up the whole island.

I was just hired to build

a house, that's all.

- McMansion, Mr. McMansion.

- Come on, we gotta go, brother.

Blue Heron's f***ed!

The whole f***ing island's f***ed!

Please, honey... I'm begging you.

You're a McFucking prick!

Stumpo, come on.

Well, there's my favorite birthday boy.

I had such a great time

at your party last night.

It was a hell of a party.

Well, you deserve it. You're the best guy.

Thank you, Gladys. That's sweet.

All right. Let me know

if you need anything.

There's one little thing

that's kind of been on my mind

- and I've been meaning to tell you about it.

- What?

I noticed that you put

the silverware on the table.

That's where you put silverware.

It doesn't seem quite sanitary to me.

It's clean.

I cleaned it right before you came in.

The last people left, I...

And how did you wash the table, Gladys?

- I have these cloths that are like...

- These rags'?

- See what I mean?

- My rags aren't dirty.

Gladys, rags by their

very nature are dirty.

The rag is a filthy animal.

So what are you saying?

Why not put the silverware on a napkin?

Terrific idea. I'll get back to you, okay?

What the f***, man?

You're telling Jennifer

she should date other people?

You don't want her dating a black man,

that's what it is, right'?

No, no, no. Of course not.

And I said that to her before

I knew who she was going out with.

You're f***ing me all up.

First you punched me and sh*t.

Now, you're telling f***ing Jennifer

that she should date other people.

Who the f*** does that sh*t,

but a jealous, racist motherf***er?

Oh, no, no, no.

You don't want her dating a black man,

that's what it is.

- It's gotta be.

- No. That's ridiculous.

I don't care who she dates.

You know how hard it is

to find a Cuban woman?

That sh*t ain't easy, man.

Three or four of them

escape Cuba every f***ing day.

That's a low ratio.

They come over here

on f***ing rafts and holding on wood

and floating their ass over here.

Sometimes they float on other

f***ing Cubans, sometimes.

They gotta use a Cuban to float on.

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