Clear History Page #8

Synopsis: A PR specialist refuses to market a car called a "Howard" - a colossal error that loses him a billion dollars and makes him a national joke. He loses his hair, shaves his beard, takes a new name, and moves to Martha's Vineyard. Jump ten years: "Rolly" is a popular local whose sangfroid evaporates when the Howard's inventor moves to the island. Rolly, his old self unrecognizable, hatches a plan to rid the island of his nemesis; he also decides to woo the billionaire's wife. Fellatio, a former girlfriend, a woman who's lost weight, her boyfriend, the band Chicago, a menacing Chechen, a bus load of ill children, and a pair of ne'er-do-wells with experience with explosives figure in the story.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Greg Mottola
Production: HBO Films
 
IMDB:
6.5
Rotten Tomatoes:
59%
TV-MA
Year:
2013
101 min
443 Views


Oh, no. That's crazy.

You f*** my life up,

I will f*** your life up, Nathan.

Tit for tat.

Tit for tat? There's no tat.

There was no tit.

If I see Jennifer with another man,

going f***ing crabbing,

antiquing, getting pushed on a swing,

this whole charade

you're doing right now, it's over.

I'm telling everybody, Nathan.

Okay. Oh, that's funny.

That's a funny story.

- Hi, Rolly.

- What a funny story.

- This is my friend, Rolly.

- See you later. Take care.

Okay. You're gonna friend me, okay.

Get lost.

Don't forget. I'm gonna

facebook you for sure.

Okay. Take care. What's going on here?

- Oh, having fun.

- You're having fun?

Meeting people, thanks to you.

What about Jaspar?

I don't wanna have just one man.

It's the time to have fun for me.

Thanks to what you told me,

you made, like, a light go off in my head.

- Okay. It was a stupid thing to say.

- Oh, my God.

Jaspar's nice for somebody else.

I wanna, you know,

I wanna see what's outside.

I got some news for you, baby. Okay?

You're gonna gain the weight back.

Then there's not gonna be any Jaspar,

then you're gonna be alone.

You're gonna gain the weight back.

What is that... Why do you gotta say that?

What do you mean?

You're going to, that's what happens.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

- It wants to fill up...

- It wants to pour the vacuum?

No?

Doesn't a vacuum suck something up,

like when you vacuum?

You're gonna get fat again.

Well, you know what? I

changed my lifestyle,

I'm not gonna gain the weight back. Okay?

You wanna make a little bet?

- I'll make a big bet.

- Yeah, how much?

- Let's make a big one.

- A big one, 50 bucks.

- Fantastic. That's it?

- Yeah, that's it.

- I'll do more.

- Fifty bucks.

Just do me one favor.

Before you start dating other men,

will you just think about it'?

Give it a little time.

You claim to want your space.

Well, now give it some time.

Time and space, they work together.

They're partners.

How much time do I need to?

A long time.

- A long time?

- Yes.

Take my time. Be by myself.

- Yeah.

- I'll think about it.

- Okay. Come on.

- Let me give you a call.

- You deserve a free coffee.

- Give me a hug. Okay.

- Okay. This is fantastic.

- Okay.

You're gonna think about it.

What kind of coffee you want?

- A vanilla latte.

- I'll make it myself.

Vanilla latte!

What are you doing here?

I have estimate for you.

What is this? Have you been following me?

This is not important to you.

What is important to you is

I am here and I have estimate for you.

How much is the estimate?

$1,300.

Really? $1,300?

- This is what it costs.

- Where'd you get this estimate?

I got it from Vlad's Body Shop.

- Vlad is a Chechen.

- What's the problem?

You're in Chechen cahoots.

- No, it's Chechen coincidence.

- Oh, that's a coincidence?

- I want to ask you something.

- Yeah.

You have problem with Chechen people?

Me? Are you kidding?

I adore the Chechen people.

You're one of my top five ethnic groups.

- Really? Listen to me.

- Yeah.

I don't have time to f***ing talk

with you all day.

No, of course not.

You pay the money

or you have big f***ing problem.

One vanilla latte.

Hey, thank you.

- It's on the house.

- You're sweet. Thank you.

Enjoy the fair, Rolly.

So what is this Cuban coffee?

Oh, look at this.

It's funny, isn't it?

What a great picture.

So I'm gonna head home.

What? No. You can't do that.

- Really?

- May I ask a question?

Sure, Rolly.

When was the last time

you were on a Ferris wheel?

- Really?

- Yes. Here.

- All right. All right.

- Come on.

Ferris wheel and there's

piglets to see, too.

- There are piglets?

- There's little piglets.

Okay-

Let's do it.

Give me a measurement,

right here, of the duct.

Here, hold on. It's from Rolly.

"I can't hold her much longer!"

All right. Come on. Let's hustle it up.

Yes! Huh?

Huh? What did I tell you?

- That was so much fun.

- That was excellent.

I haven't done that in so long.

What? Because of the silverware?

- No. That is not...

- But it's neon, it's cute.

It's not you.

You know what you're lighting up?

"I'm an a**hole."

White's a good color. I like white.

A little fur with those little tie things.

I don't know...

Hey, you know what? Let's get outta here.

Wait, wait. I wanna get a hat.

- I don't think so.

- No? Nothing?

- No.

- Okay. Well...

I'm not a hat person?

He doesn't like me in hats.

Well, if she really wanted to buy it,

she would have bought it.

She's blaming it on me.

I had nothing to do with this.

You know, except for the rides

and the food, it was actually pretty good.

- I can't believe the junk you ate.

- Made me so happy.

It's unbelievable.

How are my teeth?

Good?

I think you're okay.

Let me see your teeth, let me see.

- Hmm. You're good.

- Yeah?

You have a... Hold on... A little smudge.

There.

All right.

This was the best day, excellent.

So, good night. I'll see you at the house.

New plan.

Instead of blowing up the house,

I'm gonna steal Haney's wife,

marry her and take half his money.

- You gotta be...

- Oh, f*** that. What!

- Is this a joke?

- It's not a joke. No.

- It's not a joke? It's stupid.

- No.

You think she's gonna leave

her young, handsome,

- billionaire husband...

- Oh, yes.

For a broke, bald old dude?

I know when I have a connection

with somebody, okay?

This woman likes me.

Really?

Oh, it's there. It's there.

I love you so much.

I have to tell you something.

I spoke to the doctor,

and I've decided to stop the treatments.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

No! No!

I took her to the fair yesterday.

She asked me for a tooth check.

A tooth check, come on.

- It means nothing.

- Who the f*** cares? That means nothing.

Rags will give me a tooth check.

All the time.

- Right...

- You guys do tooth checks?

- Sure.

- Constantly.

I might have kale in there or something.

She wiped some smudge off my cheek

when I said goodbye to her.

It was probably annoying her.

No!

Yeah. She's like, "Get

that sh*t off your face."

What about our plan? What about me?

Where does that leave me?

Where does that leave the fellas?

That's a very legitimate question, Stumpo.

Once I marry her and get half her money,

it's gonna leave you

with a million f***ing dollars

for each of you!

And after I move in,

we invite everybody on the island

to come watch us blow up the house.

- We blow up the house?

- We blow up the house!

And it's all legal. I own it.

How's my plan now?

You're so brave.

I just hope the house is ready in time

for the first busload of kids

that are going through.

- This is for them.

- Yeah.

They should have a beautiful place to come

with their family to fight off this

terrible disease.

I love you so much.

I love you.

Good morning.

- Rolly.

- Hey, Rhonda!

Good morning, Ray.

- How you doing?

- Good morning.

Got a little surprise for you.

They call it vanilla latte.

You're the best.

I observed you the other day,

I saw what you ordered.

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Larry David

Lawrence Gene David (born July 2, 1947) is an American comedian, writer, actor, playwright, and television producer. He and Jerry Seinfeld created the television series Seinfeld, of which David was the head writer and executive producer from 1989 to 1997. David has subsequently gained further recognition for the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he also created, in which he stars as a semi-fictionalized version of himself.David's work won him a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series in 1993. Formerly a stand-up comedian, David went into television comedy, writing and starring in ABC's Fridays, as well as writing briefly for Saturday Night Live. He has won two Primetime Emmy Awards, and was voted by fellow comedians and comedy insiders as the 23rd greatest comedy star ever in a 2004 British poll to select "The Comedian's Comedian". more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Clear History" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 19 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/clear_history_5649>.

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