Clinical Page #2

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is the healthiest, and coupled

with things like meditation,

leading a balanced life, and...

if I find that there's no other option,

medication.

No drug company kickbacks?

Look, I'm sorry.

I get defensive

when I have to talk about me.

It's just so...

- Weird?

- Yeah.

F***ing weird.

- Mm-hmm.

- Sorry.

Well, why don't we do this?

Why don't we just start over,

and we'll go at your speed.

[]

[panting]

[underbrush rustling]

Hurry up!

[eerie music rises]

You coming or what?

[Clara] You want some of this?

Oh, yeah, thanks.

Whew. You're getting slower.

- [laughs]

- Mnh-mnh!

- Sprinter versus long distance.

- Mm.

No, I-I thought I saw something.

It was probably a deer.

Have I told you

how glad I am that you're back?

[chuckles] You must've been

so bored without me.

No, I just... It's nice having

an old friend around.

Well, it won't be that exciting.

Well, can we at least go out

a few times?

I mean, bring, um...

Miles?

- Miles.

- Miles.

- [chuckles]

- Miles.

Yeah, well...

Jane.

Clara, don't.

I'm proud of you.

Okay, thank you.

I really am.

[sighs]

[Clara laughs]

[voyeur panting]

You ready?

[slow rock playing]

- [Jane] No.

- [Clara laughing]

[Miles] Best job in the world.

[all chuckling]

[vocalist]

There's no place like home...

This place is nice.

Yeah. It was a nice place

to be a kid.

Not hungry?

I'm sorry.

This time of year makes me think about...

Work?

Yup. I couldn't shut my brain off

hours after clocking out.

Used to infuriate my ex.

How'd you stop?

Years and years of therapy.

Oh, ho, I see.

Should I contact your doctor

for your records?

Might not be a bad idea.

Let you know what you're in for.

Mm.

Ahem.

How was your day?

I was at the grocery store,

and this little girl was staring at me.

And how did that make you feel?

I mean, she was just a little kid, but...

she didn't look away...

and it really got to me.

I mean, I was supposed to be

this new person now, not a...

not a freak.

Well, it's...

better than the alternative, right?

[scoffs]

You know, before the operation,

I didn't leave my house for a year.

You don't have to now.

Deliveries and online shopping.

It was easy.

Lonely, but easy.

I was miserable before I got

on the donor list,

but now, after this change...

I don't know

who I am anymore, and that's...

It's worse.

At least before when I looked

in the mirror, I knew who I was,

and now... it sounds like bad lyrics,

but there's a stranger looking back.

We're going to begin

what's called exposure therapy.

We need to go back

to the night of the accident.

I don't... I don't know if I can.

We'll just start from the beginning.

Very slowly.

[sighs]

I'm not sure how I got there.

What do you remember?

[screaming]

I really don't remember.

Alex, breathe.

Breathe deeply.

Very good.

I want you to place yourself there.

Oh... hmm.

Uh, it was a Thursday.

I was coming home from work, so I...

I must have been driving.

[Jane] What was the road like?

Was it bumpy or smooth?

[Alex] It was smooth...

like they had just repaved it.

There was glass...

and a... and a bumper.

I-I had to slow down.

[emergency indicator clicking]

[tense music rises]

It's hard to describe. It's...

fractured, like of a...

a broken plate or something.

The pieces are there, but it's...

It's impossible...

- to put it...

- [horn blaring]

Back together.

Hello?

[Alex panting]

[panting]

- Alex?

- I feel strange. I can't...

I can't do this. I thought...

I thought my life would change, but it...

God, it's... it's gotten worse.

I'm going to get you a glass of water.

At least before, I was me.

Look at me. Look... look at me.

Look at me.

Take a deep breath in.

Deep breath. And out slowly.

Alex. Alex.

Alex. [Clapping] Alex!

Now, nice and easy.

You had a panic attack.

Here.

Let's... let's try something.

Um, it's an exercise.

It's called 478.

So, exhale completely.

Close your mouth.

Now breathe in for four

through your nose.

Hold it for seven,

and then exhale

through your nose for eight.

[exhales abruptly]

[chuckles] I know, I know,

it takes a little getting used to,

but that'll help the next time

this... this happens, okay?

I'm so sorry about this.

No, no, no, no.

You're not the first.

It's a lot of trauma to process.

Same time next week?

Uh, you sure you're okay?

I'm fine. Thanks. I'm sorry.

[sighs]

[vocalist]

In the bleak midwinter

Frosty winds made moan

Earth stood hard as iron

Water like a stone

[vocals continue, distorted]

Snow had fallen, snow on snow

Snow on...

[shrieks]

And then you woke up?

Sort of.

I felt heavy.

Like I couldn't move.

It's been a while

since you've had sleep paralysis.

I can prescribe something.

No, no. No.

I'm fine.

Well, what do you think

is triggering this?

Possible cyclothymia? I...

What's going on here? Hmm?

- It's been a rough couple weeks.

- No, what's going on?

- You're not being...

- What?

You have stopped progressing.

I don't think that's true.

We spend most of the time

talking about renovating your house.

I had to drag this dream out of you.

And even now,

you don't want to go much further.

Now, if you weren't you...

and you were just some other patient,

I would say that you lack insight,

but I know there's more

you're keeping from me.

I've taken on a post-trauma patient.

He was horribly disfigured

a few years ago, and it's made him...

We talked about this.

He needs my help.

You promised to take

less extreme cases.

It's the only thing I'm good at.

Well, that's absurd.

He's not dangerous, he's just hurt.

I'm already helping him.

Well, what is it doing to you?

[thunder rumbles]

[crickets chirping]

[thunder rumbling]

[TV playing indistinctly]

[clattering, glass breaking]

[phone beeping]

[ringing]

[line ringing]

[glass shatters]

[clattering]

[line ringing]

[door closes]

[object shifting]

[Miles] Jane?

I hear something strange.

What's going on?

Oh, can you...?

[loud clattering]

Jane?

[Alex] Why did it happen?

- Aah!

- Jane!

- Why did it happen?

- Alex?

Why did it happen?

What is it? Jane, talk to me.

- It's a patient.

- I'm coming over. I'll be right there!

Why did it happen?

Alex. Wake up. You're asleep.

Why did it happen?

Wake up. Alex!

[both panting]

[Alex quavers]

[police radio chatter]

[Miles] So, what do you want to do?

I'm not gonna press charges.

But I'm gonna

stop seeing him as a patient.

Is this what happened last time?

No.

He's on sleeping pills.

Look, I-I appreciate you

looking after me.

I can take care of myself.

I promise.

Okay.

What's wrong with his face?

Oh, it's...

Can you stay tonight?

Of course. Yeah.

Of course I can.

Okay. I'm gonna go talk to him.

Okay.

I'm right over here.

[sighs]

We're going to have

to discontinue our sessions.

I can recommend someone.

It was a mistake.

Please, I was doing so well.

I need this.

You're really helping me.

- Alex.

- Please, I promise.

This will never happen again.

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