Closer Page #5

-Come back.

-How's work?

-Jesus. Work's sh*t, okay?

Do they have waiters here?

I love you. Please come back.

I'm not coming back.

Sign.

No pen.

Pen.

Give me back my hand.

Sign.

I'll sign on one condition.

We skip this.

We go to my sleek new surgery...

and we christen the patients' bed

with our final f***.

I know you don't want to...

and I know you think I'm sick for asking,

but that's what I'm asking.

For old times' sake.

Because I'm obsessed with you.

Because I can't get over you unless....

Because I think, on some small level...

you owe me something

for deceiving me so exquisitely.

For all these reasons,

I am begging you to give me your body.

You'd be my whore.

And in return,

I will pay you with your liberty.

You do this,

I swear I will not contact you again.

I'm going to the bar.

I assume you still drink vodka tonic?

You slept with him, didn't you?

-What do you expect me to do?

-Understand.

Why didn't you lie to me?

Because we said

we'd always tell each other the truth.

What's so great about the truth?

Try lying for a change.

It's the currency of the world.

I did what he wanted,

and now he will leave us alone.

I love you.

-I didn't give him anything.

-Your body?

If Alice came to you, desperate...

with all that love still between you...

and she said she needed you to want her...

so she could get over you, you'd do it.

I wouldn't like it either, but I'd forgive you.

-It's kindness.

-No, cowardice.

You haven't got the guts to let him hate you.

I'm doing this because I feel guilty,

and because I pity you.

-You know that, don't you?

-Yes.

-Feel good about yourself?

-No.

It's gone.

-We're not innocent anymore.

-Don't stop loving me.

I can see it draining out of you.

It's me, remember?

It was a stupid thing to do,

and it meant nothing.

If you love me enough, you'll forgive me.

-Are you testing me?

-No.

-I do understand.

-No. He understands.

All I can see is him all over you.

He's clever, your ex -husband.

I almost admire him.

You going to tell him?

I don't know.

Better to be truthful about this kind of thing.

Sign.

I forgive you.

Sign.

I think you enjoyed it.

He wheedles you into bed. The old jokes...

the strange familiarity.

I think you had a whale of a time.

And the truth is I'll never know

unless I ask him.

Why don't you?

Yes?

You can go in now.

-I want Anna back.

-She's made her choice.

I owe you an apology. I fell in love with her.

My intention was not to make you suffer.

So where's the apology? You c*nt.

I apologize.

If you love her, you'll let her go...

so she can be happy.

-She doesn't want to be happy.

-Everybody wants to be happy.

Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy

to confirm they're depressed.

If they were happy,

they couldn't be depressed.

They'd have to go out into the world

and live, which can be depressing.

-Anna's not a depressive.

-lsn't she?

-I love her.

-Boo -hoo. So do l.

She's gone back to you

because she can't bear your suffering.

You don't know who she is.

-You love her like a dog loves its owner.

-And the owner loves the dog for so doing.

You'll hurt her. You'll never forgive her.

Of course I forgive her. I have forgiven her.

Without forgiveness we're savages.

You're drowning.

-You only met her because of me.

-Yeah. Thanks.

It's a joke. Your marriage is a joke.

Here's a good one. She never sent

the divorce papers to her lawyer.

Now, to a towering romantic hero like you,

I don't doubt I am somewhat common.

But I am, nevertheless,

what she has chosen...

and we must respect what the woman wants.

If you go near her again, I swear...

I will kill you.

Okay. I have patients to see.

When she came here,

do you think she enjoyed it?

I didn't do it to give her a nice time.

I f***ed her to f*** you up.

A good fight is never clean.

And of course she enjoyed it.

As you know, she loves a guilty f***.

-You're an animal.

-Yeah? What are you?

You think love is simple.

You think the heart is like a diagram.

Have you ever seen a human heart?

It looks like a fist wrapped in blood!

Go f*** yourself. You writer!

You liar!

You go check a few facts

while I get my hands dirty.

She hates your hands.

She hates your simplicity.

I spent the whole of last week

talking about you.

I know all your ways. Anna says

you f***ed her with your eyes closed.

She tells me you wake in the night

crying for your mother, you mommy's boy.

I could go on.

Shall we stop this?

It's over. Accept it.

You don't know the first thing about love...

because you don't understand compromise.

-Don't cry on me.

-I'm sorry.

I don't know what to do.

You want my advice? You go back to Alice.

She'd never have me.

-She's vanished.

-No, she hasn't.

I found her, by accident.

She's working in a club.

Yes, I saw her naked.

No, I did not f*** her.

You spoke to her?

Yes, I know. One minute.

How is she?

She loves you...

beyond comprehension.

Your prescription.

It's where she works.

Go to her.

Thank you.

You still pissing about on the Net?

Not recently.

-I wanted to kill you.

-I thought you wanted to f*** me.

Don't get lippy.

I liked your book, by the way.

Thanks. You stand alone.

With Anna.

-You still writing obituaries? Busy?

-I was made editor.

-Yeah? How come?

-Previous editor died.

Alcohol poisoning.

I sat with him for a week in the hospital.

I really do have patients to see.

-Thank you.

-For what?

-Being kind.

-I am kind.

Your invoice is in the post.

I lied to you.

I did f*** Alice.

Sorry for telling you.

I'm just not big enough to forgive you.

Buster.

Show me the sneer.

Beautiful.

You'll wake up the hotel.

F*** me.

Again? We have to get up at 6::00.

How can one man

be so endlessly disappointing?

That's my charm.

So where are we going?

-My treat.

-Where are we going?

My holiday surprise. My rules.

Where are we going?

New York.

You angel.

-You did remember to pack my passport?

-Of course. It's with my passport.

And where's that?

In a place where you can't look.

No one sees my passport picture.

When we get on the plane,

we'll have been together four years.

What about the gap?

You mean trial separation? Didn't work out.

Happy anniversary.

I'm going to take my eyes out.

-What was in my sandwiches?

-Tuna.

-How many stitches did I get?

-Two.

But you should have had three.

-What was your euphemism?

-Disarming.

Too easy, buster. Next?

That park. Who'd I go there with?

Your father.

Were the chairs in the hospital gray or blue?

-No idea.

-Trick question. They were green.

You are a trick question.

How come we never took a vacation?

We went to the country.

Doesn't count. You were off

making sneaky phone calls...

to that witch we do not mention.

Come to bed.

I need a smoke.

-How'd you manage to give up?

-Deep inner strength.

Why me?

You could have chosen anyone. Why me?

Because you cut off your crusts.

And this.

-When are you going to stop stripping?

-Soon.

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