Clue Page #4

WADSWORTH:

You're not being blackmailed?

SCARLET:

Oh, I'm being blackmailed, all right.

But I did what I'm being blackmailed for.

PLUM:

(with interest)

What did you do?

SCARLET:

Well, to be perfectly frank, I run a specialized hotel and a

telephone service which provide gentlemen with the company of a

young lady for a short while.

PLUM:

(very interested)

Oh, yeah?

(pulling out a pen and notepad)

What's the phone number?

Miss Scarlet rolls her eyes.

GREEN:

So how did you know Colonel Mustard works in Washington?

Is he one of your clients?

MUSTARD:

(incredulous)

Certainly not!

GREEN:

I was asking Miss Scarlet.

MUSTARD:

(to Scarlet)

Well, you tell him it's not true!

SCARLET:

It's not true.

PLUM:

Is that true?

SCARLET:

No, it's not true.

GREEN:

Ha-hah! So it is true!

WADSWORTH:

A double negative!

MUSTARD:

Double "negative"? You mean you have--

(whispers to Scarlet)

Photographs?

WADSWORTH:

That sounds like a confession to me. In fact, the double negative

has led to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.

MUSTARD:

Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?

WADSWORTH:

You don't need any help from me, sir.

MUSTARD:

That's right!

Mustard realizes what he just said.

PLUM:

But seriously, I don't see what's so terrible about Colonel Mustard

visiting a house of ill fame.

(puts his hand on Scarlet's leg)

Most soldiers do, don't they?

SCARLET:

(standing)

Oh, please.

WADSWORTH:

But he holds a sensitive security post in the pentagon.

And, Colonel, you drive a very expensive car for someone who lives

on a colonel's pay.

MUSTARD:

I don't.

I came into money during the war, when I lost my mommy and daddy.

Wadsworth is puzzled, but soon recovers.

WADSWORTH:

Mrs. White, you've been paying our friend the blackmailer

ever since your husband died under, shall we say,

mysterious circumstances.

Miss Scarlet laughs.

WHITE:

Why is that funny?

SCARLET:

I see. That's why he was lying on his back. In his coffin.

WHITE:

I didn't kill him.

MUSTARD:

Then why are you paying the blackmailer?

WHITE:

I don't want a scandal, do I?

We had had a very humiliating public confrontation,

he was deranged . . . lunatic.

He didn't actually seem to like me very much, he had

threatened to kill me in public.

SCARLET:

Why would he want to kill you in public?

WADSWORTH:

I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.

SCARLET:

Oh.

And was that his final word on the matter?

WHITE:

Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?

WADSWORTH:

And yet he was the one who died, not you, Mrs. White, not you.

SCARLET:

What did he do for a living?

WHITE:

He was a scientist. Nuclear physics.

SCARLET:

What was he like?

WHITE:

He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man.

I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died.

But he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off and

so had his . . . you know . . .

The men in the room cross their legs.

WHITE:

I had been out all evening at the movies.

SCARLET:

Do you miss him?

WHITE:

Well, it's a matter of life after death.

Now that he's dead, I have a life.

WADSWORTH:

But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.

WHITE:

But that was his job. He was an illusionist.

WADSWORTH:

But he never reappeared.

WHITE:

(shrugging)

He wasn't a very good illusionist.

Mr. Green clears his throat and stands.

GREEN:

I have something to say.

(pauses)

I'm not going to wait for Wadsworth here to unmask me.

I work for the state department. And I am a homosexual.

Wadsworth, wide-eyed, looks for Green's file.

Mrs. Peacock clucks in disgust.

GREEN:

I feel no personal shame or guilt about this. But I must

keep it a secret or I will lose my job on security grounds.

(pauses again)

. . . Thank you.

Mr. Green sits back down next to Prof. Plum,

who rapidly stands and walks away.

PLUM:

Well, that just leaves Mr. Boddy.

SCARLET:

What's your little secret?

WADSWORTH:

His secret?

Oh, hadn't you guessed?

He's the one who's blackmailing you all.

Lightning crashes.

Mr. Boddy looks very satisfied.

MUSTARD:

You bastard!

The guests advance on Mr. Boddy as he stands.

Col. Mustard challenges Mr. Boddy to fight, boxing-style.

MUSTARD:

Put 'em up!

Mr. Boddy steps on the Colonel's toes and pokes him in the eyes.

GREEN:

Gentlemen . . .

MUSTARD:

If you can't fight fairly, don't fight at all!

BODDY:

Calls me a bastard!

Mr. Green and the others try to separate them as

Colonel Mustard recovers and Mr. Boddy goes for him.

Mrs. White decides to take matters into her own hands and

knees Mr. Boddy in the crotch.

GREEN:

Was that necessary, Mrs. White?

WADSWORTH:

Wait! Wait! The police are coming!

The guests disapprove.

WADSWORTH:

Listen! Blackmail depends on secrecy. You've all admitted how

he's been able to blackmail you. All you have to do is tell the police,

he'll be convicted, and your troubles will be over.

BODDY:

(standing, in pain)

's not so easy.

You'll never tell the police.

WADSWORTH:

Then I shall. I have evidence in my possession,

and this conversation is being tape recorded.

28a -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--BILLIARD ROOM -- 28a

Yvette in the Billiard room, drinking cognac and listening

to a tape recorder that is recording.

GREEN (V.O.)

Point of order--tape recordings are not admissible evidence!

28b -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 28b

The study.

General confusion ensues.

WADSWORTH:

Ladies and gentlemen, the police will be here in about

(checks his watch)

forty-five minutes.

Tell them the truth, and Mr. Boddy will be behind bars.

Mr. Boddy goes for the hall.

Wadsworth stops them.

WADSWORTH:

Where are you going this time?

BODDY:

I think I can help them make up their minds.

Can I just get my little bag from the hall?

Boddy exits.

28c -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE HALL -- 28c

The Hall.

Mr. Boddy gets his bags from by the front door.

28d -- INT. GROUND FLOOR--THE STUDY -- 28d

The study.

Mr. Boddy opens his luggage.

BODDY:

Who can guess what's in here, eh?

WHITE:

The evidence against us, no doubt.

Mr. Boddy chuckles.

He starts handing out boxes, each with a different size and shape.

SCARLET:

We didn't know we were meeting you tonight.

Did you know you were meeting us?

BODDY:

Oh, yes.

WHITE:

What were you told, precisely?

BODDY:

Merely that you were all meeting to discuss our little . . .

financial arrangements. And if I did not appear,

Wadsworth would be informing the police about it all.

Naturally I could hardly resist putting in an appearance.

He finishes handing out the packages.

BODDY:

(elbowing his way to the door)

'Scuse me.

(eyeing the packages)

Open 'em.

SCARLET:

Why not?

I enjoy getting presents from strange men.

Scarlet opens her package.

A candlestick.

SCARLET:

A candlestick? What's this for?

Mrs. White opens her box and reveals a rope-tied in a noose.

Mr. Green takes his box in one hand. He opens it and lets

the contents fall into his other hand.

A bent lead pipe.

Col. Mustard opens his box and pulls out . . .

a heavy wrench.

Prof. Plum takes the lid off his package and looks in.

He gingerly pulls out a revolver.

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