Cobb Page #2

"Wahoo" Sam Crawford...

Jimmie Foxx, Rogers Hornsby,

the Waner boys...

Goddamn, we used to have

some parties, Stump.

I'm gonna tell you that right now.

We can't forget.

I won't forget.

Look at me closely, Al.

Lie after lie has been told about me.

My entire life, I've been misunderstood.

You are the very fortunate

young sportswriter...

who has been chosen

to tell the true story...

of Ty Cobb.

- Great. What's the true story?

- That's why you're here.

See, there's two kinds

of writers in this life.

Ones that spin endless yarns

about tiny little subjects, that's you...

and the ones with one big subject...

that consumes them forever,

that could be you...

because I am that subject.

Are you okay?

Jameson!

Jameson, get your ass up here.

Sir?

There's a small oil company

in Bakersfield near Elk Hills Reserve...

called Honolulu Oil Company.

You buy all the stock in it that you can.

Getty's expanding,

I'm looking for little companies like that.

I've got a hunch.

Stump, come over here to me.

I think I can take that buck.

What do you think?

With that pistol, I don't believe so.

There's a board meeting at

Coca-Cola in Atlanta.

Tell them I can't make it

for medical reasons.

No, personal reasons.

And sell everything I've got in 3M.

Got him!

Like hell you did!

- I shot her damn throat out!

- You are so full of sh*t!

If Mr. Cobb says he got him, he got him.

Then you're full of sh*t, too.

You have no goddamn vision.

A writer with no vision is a waste of time.

I've hired the wrong son of a b*tch.

I better head back to San Francisco

before the storm hits.

I'll take care of these transactions.

And I will be leaving, too, since you think

I'm the wrong man for the job.

Shut up, Stump,

we both know I'm your meal ticket.

I beg your pardon?

We need each other.

We'll start in the morning.

No!

Yeah, bright and early.

Mr. Cobb, I don't think

I've made myself perfectly clear.

Mr. Cobb!

Ready.

Chapter 1, page 1.

Ready!

"Know ye that a prince and a great man

has fallen this day. "

What the hell is that?

That is what Robert Lee said over the grave

of my grandfather at Fredericksburg.

So I'm taking notes?

Hell no,

it's the first line of my autobiography.

- I'm not writing that.

- Why not?

It's horseshit.

It's a third-person comment

about somebody who's already dead.

An autobiography has to be

in the first person...

plus it can't come from the other side

of the goddamn grave.

My story can come

from any damn place I want.

Not to mention the fact...

you can't call yourself

a prince and a great man.

That's for the-

What kind of a writer are you,

tied up in rules and regulations?

What's the use of a writer

if you can't say what want?

You're not treating me like a writer,

you're treating me like a stenographer.

"... that a prince and a great man...

"has fallen this day. "

- It has a certain ring to it.

- It certainly does.

And I thought you might like it.

It's yours, it's a gift.

From me.

"Cobb...

"a prince among men...

"misunderstood in his genius...

"as genius always is... "

That's the second line

from what's gonna be...

the greatest biography

of a great man ever written.

Type the damn thing up!

Bethlehem Steel is going in the toilet.

I'll be a striped-ass ape!

Jameson, Bethlehem Steel's

going in the toilet. Dump it all right now.

You got a stock tip for me?

Buy Coca-Cola.

We're about to go out in cans.

Coke in cans? I don't believe so.

You know what's wrong with Ty Cobb?

Every goddamn disease known to man,

I've got them all.

But they ain't never gonna get me

into a hospital.

My heart leaks. My doctors, nothin' but

a bunch of hacksaw artists...

give me Digoxin to keep it pumping.

They give me Darvon

for the cancer in my back.

They give me Tace

for something eating up my stomach.

They give me Fleets compound

for an infection in my bowels!

They give me Librium for my tension.

They give me insulin for diabetes.

But this stuff...

This stuff, Stumpy...

can f***ing kill you.

And if that wasn't enough...

it's been two years

since I got my pecker up in the air.

The South may not rise again, young man,

but my dick will.

I soon discovered

I couldn't be around the man for long...

without needing a break,

which his painkillers gracefully provided.

My sanity would soon depend

upon a frequent breath of fresh air...

a walk in the woods, any escape

from what one sportswriter had called:

"Cobb's brooding soul,

that bubbled with violence. "

Oh, my God!

Good news, Stumpy.

We're going to Reno. I'm horny.

There's a blizzard out there!

When a man wants a woman,

a man wants a woman!

Why don't we put on some soup?

We'll build a fire, work on the book.

How cozy.

Got $25,OOO in cash

and negotiable securities right there.

Don't let it out of your sight.

You're nuts! Those roads are impassable!

- You lead, I'll follow.

- You don't understand.

- I'm not going anywhere!

- You don't understand. I need a woman.

Get the hell out of the way!

You call that driving, Alice?

My sister can drive better than that!

Step on it! Let's go!

Get on down the road.

Them girls are gonna die of old age

before we get down there.

Are you nuts?

Get off my ass!

All right, little girl,

I'll take you to school.

How was your first driving lesson, Alice?

Couldn't take it?

Too bad.

Sh*t!

Driving lesson number two!

Step on it, will you?

All right, young man. Follow the leader!

We're gonna get laid!

Go ahead! Just go!

F*** you!

"Good news, Stumpy. I'm horny. "

Better news, Cobb. You're f***ing crazy!

Oh, boy. What the hell is that?

Oh, God. He's dead.

Ty Cobb bought the farm.

It's about f***ing time you got here.

You're alive?

I wouldn't call it living, but it'll do.

Help me out of this son of a b*tch!

Give me your hand.

- God, there's blood.

- Of course there's blood.

I just put my head through the windshield

of a goddamn car!

What do you expect?

Oh, my God! I'm maimed!

- Am I gonna be-

- Shut the f*** up and get in the car!

Look at that!

Get in the f***ing car!

- Stupid bastard. Come on, let's go!

- You gotta get me out of here.

Let's get out of here! Just hold on to me.

Let's go. Come on!

Let's get out of here. Stump, lead on!

Come on!

- Oh, sh*t!

- Ruined a pair of gloves, sh*t!

Look at that!

No goddamn guardrail! I'm gonna sue

the State Highway Commission!

I'm suing the governor,

I'm suing every-goddamn-body!

Stumpy, I could've been hurt up here!

You could have been hurt? Get in the car!

- Give me the keys, I'm driving.

- No, I'm driving!

You know the way to Reno? No!

Give me the keys, I'm driving!

- Over my dead body!

- That's your call, young man.

Now, no sudden moves.

You miserable son of a b*tch!

You frightened, desperate, pathetic old man!

Get out of here!

You can't do anything without that gun...

and frankly, it doesn't impress me

if you keep waving it around...

because I know you're not gonna shoot me!

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