Cocktail

A diamond sun cuts down

A frozen winter sky

As the world and I go screaming

Into the phantom night

Doesn't matter where it leads

I got nowhere else to go

If there's any chance at all

- It's somewhere down this road

- Come on! Put it to the floor! Come on!

- To be wild again

- Let's go!

No one's child again

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Full of fire again

Oh, to be wild again

Here we go.

Here we go.

Pull over! Pull over!

Pull over!

Pull over!

- Get over!

- Slow down, slow down! Slow down!

Slow down. Slow down.

Slow down.

And I never felt so free

Oh, there had to be a crossroad

- Hey!

- A place to draw the line

- Come on, come on.

- And it came down to the question

- Open up.

- Is this life I'm livin' mine

Defenders of the nation,

I bid thee a fond farewell.

Make a million.

Make a million, buddy.

I wanna find the edge

Risk it all to win

I wanna see those eyes

in the mirror

Full of fire again

I wanna be wild again

Wild again

Mike! Mike, looky there.

Mike, look at that.

Look at that.

You see that city out there, kid?

See that big town? One day,

we're gonna own that town, you and me.

What do you think of that?

Yeah.

Smart kid.

There has to be a crossroad

A place to draw the line

And it comes down to the question

What is theirs and what is mine

Wild again

Next stop, Barton Boulevard.

Hey!

Uncle Pat, you'd better be careful or

you're gonna throw that back out again.

Don't worry about me.

I can handle it.

So, home from the wars, huh?

- How you doing?

- Oh, I'm doing fine.

Servicing all the widows

in the neighbourhood now.

Same old Uncle Pat.

Flat beer from rusty pipes.

If you only knew

how I missed it.

You might have changed a lot,

but they sure didn't beat

the wise guy out of you.

- Not a chance of that.

- I saved the apartment for you.

I sublet it to a couple of yuppies.

They loved your mother's furniture.

They said it was quaint.

I still remember the day

they came to repossess it.

Yeah, well...

So what are you gonna do now?

Make a million.

Well, in the meantime,

I'll ask McDougal to give you a job

while you're waiting.

No way!

- It was good enough for your old man.

- So was arthritis.

He supported a family,

just like you're gonna have to do.

No, not me. I am not

falling into that trap.

Every man wakes up one fine

morning with a wife and kids.

"Where'd they come from?

They weren't there last time I looked."

That's 'cause most things

in life, good and bad...

just kind of happen to you.

Well, I'm gonna make

things happen for me.

Sure you will.

That'll be a buck

for the beer.

What?

Your nephew comes home

from serving his country...

and he doesn't even rate

a beer on the house?

- You don't get rich giving things away.

- Oh, how do you get rich?

I'm gonna give you

your first lesson on the house.

I've been here 25 years.

Never bought a drink.

Right, Eddie?

I can testify to that!

In 1969, the Mets

won the World Series.

Eddie here starts pounding on the bar,

demanding a round on the house.

"Drinks for everybody," he says.

Tell him what I did, Eddie.

He whacked me with a club.

Almost knocked the eye out of my head!

That's your way of making money?

You outwork, outthink,

outscheme and outmanoeuvre.

You make no friends

and trust nobody.

And you make damn sure

you're the smartest guy in the room...

whenever the subject

of money comes up.

I don't know, Uncle Pat.

Doesn't sound like too much fun to me.

Fun? You want fun,

you go play at the beach.

Think I'll try the city first.

Well, here.

This'll get you there in style.

Ooh! Ten dollars. Uncle Pat!

Why don't you buy Eddie

a binge on me, huh?

Eddie, you gotta be

quicker than that, man.

I've always wanted

to work on Wall Street.

I read the Journal.

I know what's going on today...

and I'm willing to do

whatever it takes to succeed.

I appreciate that, Flanagan, but all

our professionals have college degrees.

I catch on pretty quick.

- You're wasting your time.

- Just forget the Street.

- No.

- We're not interested.

- A guy like you: advertising.

I have a feel for advertising.

I mean, I can look at an ad

and tell you what's wrong with it.

Mr Flanagan,

we need solid credentials.

- A marketing degree is a prerequisite.

- Try the networks.

In the army, I spent a lot of time

in communications.

I think I can help you.

Well, we need somebody

who can hit the ground running.

Maybe in six or

eight months, but...

You should pursue

other avenues.

- Maybe you should reenlist.

- I believe in positive thinking.

Never quit. Never say "die."

I want to be part of the team.

- So, what do you think?

- Your rsum is completely inadequate.

- I'm willing to start at the bottom.

- You're aiming too high.

- I'll do anything.

- You don't have enough experience.

- No, I need a job.

- We value education.

- We require a degree.

- You should go to college.

- The bar's closed, pal.

- I know. I'm looking for the manager.

What's the matter?

Find a hair in your quiche?

No. I'm looking for a job.

I see. You want to put a hair

in somebody else's quiche.

- Just get canned?

- I'm looking...

Looking for

something better.

Coughlin's Law:

"Anything else

is always something better."

Coughlin's Law?

Douglas Coughlin,

logical negativist.

Flourished in the last part

of the 20th century.

Propounded a set of laws that

the world generally ignored...

to its detriment.

Me.

- Ever work behind the bar?

- My uncle's in the business.

You know how to make a "Red Eye,"

mister... What's your name?

Brian Flanagan.

No, I'm...

sorry I haven't had

the pleasure as yet.

What about a vodka martini

with a Pernod float?

I'm a fast learner.

Ever throw a 400-pound

psychopath out of a bar?

I guess I could if I had to.

What about a 100-pound ballerina

that's been speeding for three days?

Just open the door and let her

pirouette out in the street?

Well, these are just some of the tasks

you'll be asked to perform,

young Flanagan.

This is the Upper East Side,

the saloon capital of the world.

The big time.

Are you ready for the big time,

young Mr Flanagan?

I think I can handle it.

- Get your act together!

- Vodka and Rose's, please!

Hey, come on, man!

I got four people waiting for me!

I'm not going back there

with three drinks!

I know! It's coming!

Absolut on the rocks,

Gilbey's and tonic, and a Velvet Hammer.

- This isn't what I ordered!

- A Molson and a Cuba Libre!

- What was that?

- A Molson and a Cuba Libre!

What is this,

"hire the handicapped" week?

If you're gonna sit in the water,

go to Coney Island!

You want me

to bite the top off this?

Here. This has got recipes.

- Ordering a Cuba Libre!

- Could I please have a glass of water?

- He doesn't know how to make it!

- Where's my Jim Beam on the rocks?

It's coming!

I'm not leaving

until I get my Cuba Libre!

Excuse me.

Could I have an Orgasm?

- This isn't what I ordered!

- A white wine.

You b*tch!

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