Cold Comfort Farm Page #2

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orb had almost disappeared...

behind the interlacing fingers

of the hawthorn.

[ Metal Banging ]

Adam Lambsbreath!

[ Banging Pail ]

- [ Cow Bellowing ]

- Steady, Graceless.

Come on, Feckless.

Fill 'un up.

Adam?

There you are.

How many pails today? Dunno know how

many, Miss Judith. 'Tis hard to tell.

If Pointless got over her indigestion,

maybe four. If not, maybe three.

[ Giggling ]

[ Moaning ]

Get out of there, Seth,you no

- good son of mine.

Good day, Mother. Do you

want to break my heart?

- That's right.

- Libertine. Who's that up there?

Just lookin' for eggs,

Miss Judith.

Get back to

the vicarage, Violet.

And another thing, Adam.

You'll have to take the trap down

to Beershorn Halt. Meet the train.

Robert Poste's child's comin'

today. After the farm, is she?

Oh, mun I,

Miss Judith?

Can't Seth go

instead of me?

How can I look in her little

fower face knowing what I knows?

You remember what happened when he

went to meet the new kitchen maid.

No. You go, Adam.

Don't know how many times

I feared this day would come.

How will I know

the little maidy?

Who else is gonna get off

at Beershorn Halt?

[ Thinking ] A man's huge body,

rude as a wind-tortured thorn,

was printed dark against

the fame of sun that-

that throbbed

- that throbbed on the tip of Mockuncle Hill.

The golden orb.. [

Conductor ] Beershorn!

Oh.

[ Blows Whistle ] [

Train Whistle Blowing ]

gh!

How revolting!

Don't you know

this trap's filthy?

[ Grunting ]

Are ye the little maidy,

Robert Poste's child?

Yes, I'm the little maidy.

Who are you?

Adam.

Adam Lambsbreath.

Ye get up. I'll see to

them, Robert Poste's child.

Miss Poste. Or Miss Flora, if

you want to be completely feudal.

Ugh!

[ Flora ] Where's this?

Howlin; Robert Poste's child.

Howling?

Are we nearly there?

Another few miles yet,

Robert Poste's child.

Git on, Viper.

What's the farm like? The seeds wither

and the earth will not nourish 'em.

The cows are barren.

The sows are farren.

All is turned to sourness

and ruin. Oh, dear.

Is there no money?

'Tain't money.

There's a curse on the place,

Robert Poste's child.

'Tis the Starkadders'doom.

[ Flora ] Oh, I'm sure

it's not as bad as all that.

[ Groaning ]

[ Adam ]

Viper.

Whoa there, Viper.

Well, it is a little gloomy,

I agree.

Whoa. Whoa, Viper!

Get 'e down,

Robert Poste's child.

Oh, how do you do?

You must be Cousin Judith.

It's so good of you to have me. Isn't

it curious we've never met before?

'Tis Robert Poste's child,

all right. [ Cow Bellowing ]

That's Graceless,

looking out for me.

You get back to your

cows, Adam. My luggage.

Meriam'll bring it.

This way, Miss Poste.

I think,just for tonight,

I'll eat in my room if I may.

It's cold there. I expect

a fire will soon warm it up.

Oh, my sons'll be sorry.

They wanted to see

their little cousin.

Your sons?

Seth and Reuben.

Seth and Reuben.

Really?

Well, I'll see them

tomorrow, I'm sure.

Someone has a hearty appetite.

Follow me, Miss Poste.

Nobody shall say we didn't do

right by Robert Poste's child.

No. Quite.

Thank you.

[ Springs Squeaking ]

[ Rustling ]

Hey, Elfine.

My little water - vole.

My little water - vole.

[ Rooster Crowing ]

Mmm.

[ Chickens Clucking ]

Ohh.

[ Adam ] You'd never sell

Feckless! [ Man ] I do what I like!

[ Adam ] Who could've tended the

poor, dumb beasty better nor I?

I knows what's in her heart better than I

knows what's in the hearts of some humans.

[ Man ] Look at her! Be hard to

find a knacker's man who'd take her.

And another thing! I don't

pay ye wages to collect...

chicken feathers and sell 'em

down Beershorn for good money!

That weren't I! May I never set

hand on plough again if it were!

That were rk!

I say.

Do you think you would mind not

talking quite so loudly, please?

Some of us are

trying to sleep.

Oh.

Ohh.

Wife, where's Elfine?

Not up yet,

I expect, Amos.

Godless habit, lyin' abed

of a workin' day.

The reekin' fires lie waiting

for them as do.

What a family

I'm cursed with.

You'll fritter and fry

in hell, the lot of you!

Meriam passed out

this morning.

Oh, bless her.

Ah. Reckon her time's

come, eh, Seth?

Robert Poste's

child here, innit she?

After your inheritance,

eh, Reuben?

Robert Poste's child.

Well, some of us

has farmin' to do.

rk, time the barren field were

gone over with a prunin'snoot.

Reuben, get plowin'

down Nettle Flitch. Seth,

you drain the well.

There's a neighbor missin'.

So you're the little lady from London...

with your

smart ways, eh?

I know your sort.

Drain away a man's blood

soon as look at him.

Seth, after you've

done the well,

you get scrattlin'

up at Ticklepenny Corner.

Come on, Miss Poste.

Adam will get you breakfast.

Is there any bread and

butter and some tea, Adam?

I don't much care

for porridge.

Bread and butter in the

crocket. Tea in the pot.

Now leave me in peace. I mun cletter

the dishes, Robert Poste's child.

That's a twig. What you want is

a nice little mop with a handle.

It would get the dishes cleaner

and be so much quicker too.

Don't want no mop with a

handle. I've clettered dishes...

with an old thorn twig

nigh on 50 year.

And what was good enough then

is good enough now, is it?

Aye.

Adam, I've been thinking

about the Starkadders' doom.

Why doesn't Cousin Amos just sell this and

buy a farm that doesn't have a curse on it?

In Berkshire or Devon, perhaps. Nay.

There's always been Starkadders

at Cold Comfort Farm.

'Tis impossible for any

of us to dream of leavin'.

Mrs. Starkadder's set on us stayin'. 'Tis her life

- the very life in her veins.

Cousin Judith, you mean? She

doesn't seem very happy here.

No, I mean the old lady,

old Mrs. Starkadder.

Is she dead?

No.

[ Laughing ]

No, miss, she's

alive right enough.

Her hand lies on us

like iron,

but she never

leaves her room,

never sees no one

but Miss Judith.

Ain't left the farm these 20 year. That be her tray

- [ Chickens Squawking ]

Oh, there she is,

my little wennit.

- Gracious. Who's that?

- That's my cowdlin'.

That's Elfine Starkadder.

Does she always charge about like that?

She's as wild and shy

as a pharisee of the woods.

Days, she's gone

wandering the downs...

with only the spyin'magpies

and little rabbits for company.

No thought for them as loved her

and cowdled her in their bosom...

when she were a mommet.

- [ Bell Ringing ]

- How trying. I'll take the tray, Adam.

Oh, no, miss! I doubt

she even know you're here.

I understand what to do. Just

leave it outside her door.

No, m..

[ Bell Ringing ]

[ Door Creaking ]

Elfine.

What do you want?

Cousin Judith's room. Be

a lamb and show me the way.

It's that way.

Do forgive me saying so, but

I'd love to see you in blue.

Some shades of green

are good, of course, but...

dull greens are very trying,

I always think.

Definitely blue.

You try it and see.

Oh!

Who's that?

It's Urk.

He's horrible!

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