Cold Souls

Well, you see, I'm a madman.

So I'm not responsible.

I can say whatever I wish.

You're not mad, you know. You're a

fool.

What am I gonna do?

Nothing.

Give me something!

My God, man! I'm 47 years old.

If I live to be 60,

I'd have to live through another 13

years.

How can I do that?

How can I stand that?

Dont you see?

I- I have nothing to do with those

years.

You see? Nothing.

I-

I mean, if I could just live

what is left in a different way-

Just wake up on a quiet morning...

and feel that this...

this is a new day.

Forget the past. Gone. Blown away.

Begin a new life-

Ah. I- I can't do this anymore.

- You wanna take a break, Paul?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Let's take a break.

What's going on, Paul?

I- I have this throb in my stomach.

I have a pain in my chest,

like somebody...

put my heart in a vice and just

tightened it.

You're taking it way too seriously.

It's not a tragedy.

What happened to your sense of

humor,

for Chrissakes?

Hey, Paul, it's Max.

Listen. Um, did you give Autumn a

look?

Uh, Jane says that they can't wait

past Friday.

They gotta know.

It conflicts with Vanya,

but they'll go pay-or-play right away

in, uh-

you know, at your rate.

Um, listen. I know you've-

you've poured your soul into Vanya...

but I can get you out of it in a

heartbeat.

And- Oh, speaking of souls...

you gotta check out this week's New

Yorker.

It's the answer to your nightmares.

Um, so give Claire my love when she

gets back.

I'll talk to you later. Bye.

All passengers on Flight S-315...

arriving from Saint Petersburg and

Moscow...

please proceed to

the lower baggage claim level once

you have-

"Olga Spatova Vassile"-

Spatova Vassilevna.

That's it? Do you have a nickname?

Put your right index finger on the

mark, please,

and look into the camera.

- What's the purpose of the visit?

- Surgery.

- Next.

- They don't have good doctors in

Russia?

Not for the heart.

Unburdening Made Easy."

"Are New Yorkers tired of carrying

their souls?"

"Mini Storage, Pet Storage,

Private Storage, Self Storage-

"Soul Storage.

"Is your soul weighing you down?

Store it."

Welcome to the Soul Storage.

Your privacy is always guaranteed.

Our hours are 9:
00 a.m.

to 6:
00 p.m. Monday through

Friday.

We're conveniently located on

Roosevelt Island.

Press "1 "for our special holiday

offer.

Press "2" if youre an existing

customer.

Thank you for your interest in Soul

Storage.

Cut the rabbit

into eight pieces.

Good Morning.

Um, the Soul Storage?

- Uh, yes, sir. Fourth floor.

- Fourth floor.

Uh, sign here, please.

Tie the legs with

string

and rub the breast with butter.

Do you feel lonely? Are you living in

the past?

Do you lose your temper easily?"

Hi, Nina.

This is for January.

- Do you have some aspirin?

- Yeah.

I'll let him know youre here.

Thank you.

Dr. Flintstein, Nina's here.

Mr. Giamatti?

Hello? The Soul Storage.

Yes, we do have discounts for

couples.

So, how did you hear about us?

Uh- Well, my agent mentioned

something about it.

And, uh, uh-

I read the article in The New Yorker.

I wasn't quite sure about the services

provided.

People come here and-

Well, they all want to know

if the soul is immortal and how it

functions.

And we haven't a clue.

No clue.

We only offer the possibility...

to "de-soul" the body or disembody

the soul.

You can see it either way.

You can also take a look on the

inside...

before we store it.

Look on the inside- Um, um- Oh! No.

I don't-

I don't want to look on the inside.

It's entirely up to you.

Now, your soul will be stored here...

or, if you'd rather avoid sales tax...

it can be shipped to our New Jersey

warehouse.

Uh, no. God, no.

I don't want my soul shipped to New

Jersey. No.

I understand.

What exactly is bothering you?

Well, uh...

I, uh- I've been working on a

Chekhov play,

Uncle Vanya-

- I've seen that play.

- Oh.

It's so- It's so Russian.

- What do you mean, Russian?

- Well, you know.

The characters are so unlikable.

Especially Vanya.

He's so full of- of self-pity.

Just my take on it,

and I'm certainly not a specialist.

Nut?

What?

- No. No. I'm- I'm good, thank you.

- Ah.

- Shall we get back to our problem?

- Yeah.

I- Uh, you know,

I guess I'm not really sure how to put

it.

Um, I- I guess that I have reached a

point...

where I feel like I can no longer...

separate myself, uh, from the

character.

Uh...

I feel stuck.

And, uh, I don't know what to do.

I'm not even sure

there is

a solution to it, frankly.

Yes. Well, that's a- that's-

It's- It's an elephant.

Yes, it is.

- Yes.

- Now, have you ever visited the

circus...

and seen one if these creatures

standing quietly

while tied to a small wooden stick?

- Uh-huh.

- You see, when the elephant is

young

and relatively weak...

it is tied to an immovable stick.

So later,

no matter how large and strong he

becomes...

he continues to believe

that he cannot free himself.

- All right. Right.

- Many intelligent people are like

circus elephants.

They never question

their self-imposed limitations.

And the soul can become just such a

stick.

They need to break the chains.

Okay. I understand all of that, Dr.

Flintstein.

Um, but I think that my situation is

a little more complex.

Well, when you have a tumor, you get

rid of it.

A twisted soul is like a tumor.

It's better to get rid of it.

I don't think that my soul is twisted,

Doctor.

Uh-Twisted?

It's- I- I just want to be able to do the

play.

That's exactly what we're offering

you.

No. No. No. I'm sor- I'm sorry.

This is-This is-This is insane.

Uh-

What about my-

What about my family? What about

my wife?

This is not about your family, is it?

This is about you.

Happiness is not about making the

people around

you believe that youre happy.

I don't need to be happy.

I just don't want to suffer.

Do you honestly believe that it's

enough...

to just live and not suffer?

Everyone wants to be happy.

And I'm sure you're no exception.

- You noticing the colors?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Surprising, isn't it?

We imagine the soul in bright

colors...

but they mostly come in dark tones:

blacks, browns, grays-

- Lots of grays actually.

- Mmm.

- Some of these are celebrities.

- Oh!

- Whose soul is that?

- Well, the identity is confidential of

course...

but I believe this one had a

melanoma.

Jesus Christ.

How did we get to this point?

Progress. Triumph of the mind.

Believe me, when you get rid of the

soul...

everything makes so much more

sense.

Everything becomes-

well, functional and purposeful.

All right. All right.

Ah, thank you.

Oh, no.

No, no, no. No, thank you.

No, Stephanie.

He'd prefer not to take a look on the

inside.

Just a plain extraction.

- How we feeling?

- Oh, fine.

- Good. Now just relax.

- Okay.

Breathe normally.

Your consciousness will not be

affected.

You'll keep everything useful

to the proper functioning of your

mind.

Okay.

All right. Here we go.

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