Cold Turkey Page #2

Just asking.

I didn't get burned

in anything.

So uh... Professor Turner,

sir... you...

you ever actually been

to Iraq?

Well... the New York Times

always said...

I know what the New York

Times always said...

That you personally disbanded

the Iraqi army.

Get outta town,

that was you?

Hey, baby, didn't we see that

on the TV?

We made a lot of mistakes,

Hank,

but that was not one of 'em.

Put simply, there never was

an Iraqi army to disband.

No no no,

I know your argument,

I read your book.

The Kurds and the Shi'a would

never have stood

for a Sunni majority

in the army

and there were way too many

Sunni officers to begin with,

and anyway, the army

disbanded itself once...

Could we please

talk about something else?

No, let's talk about this.

Can't keep up, Linds?

Don't want to, Nin.

I mean, yeah, we can talk

about something else.

Uh... how's yoga?

Cuz you look great.

Thanks, you too.

Yoga's good. It's fine,

you know.

Had a couple of

big name clients recently

which is nice...

and some referrals, and...

Oh yeah? Who?

What?

Who are

the big name clients?

Oh, you know, just...

stupid Laguna people.

Tell me!

No.

Yeah, who?

Chris O'Donnell?

Who's that?

Seriously, you don't know who

Chris O'Donnell is?

Alright, maybe we should just

change the subject,

I- I don't know anyone

though...

We don't have a TV, so...

That's weird, Hank just said

you did.

Hank, don't you and Nina have

a TV?

Don't answer that.

- Uh...

Anyone want more guac?

The problem with Abu Ghraib

was they weren't wearing

their goddamn uniforms.

Alright, now he's drunk.

Thank you for

a very nice meal,

may I please be excused?

No.

Poppy, tell us about the time

you met Eleanor Roosevelt.

Oh, that was wonderful.

I must have been

eight or nine

when she was giving a speech

in Ann Arbor.

Hank!

- Hmm.

Come look at our pillow fort,

come on!

Alright, I'm coming,

I'm coming.

Oh my goodness,

look at this thing.

You guys did this

all yourself?

It's beautiful,

I love this part.

Oh, ho ho! No!

I can't believe it!

It's destroyed!

Tell you what,

build it back up again...

Build it back up again,

we'll do it all over, alright?

Alright. I'll see you guys

in a minute.

Hey, ladies, how are

the dishes coming?

Good. Wanna help?

Ah, yeah, yeah,

in just a minute.

Playin' with the kids.

Feel free.

- Mm. Thank you!

Grab a chip,

on my way.

Alright!

Alright, boys! Uncle Hank

is back in the house!

Look out!

Do you have any idea

how slow you eat?

No.

It's because

you're an only child.

I'm not an only child.

How's the house

in Wyoming?

Uh oh.

Those tenants bail again?

No.

'Cause, one more time and

Poppy cuts you off, right?

What is your problem?

But the house in Arizona's

okay, right Nin?

Yeah, the yurt

in Arcosanti's fine.

It must5 be nice

having two houses.

A yurt is not a house,

Lindsay.

Yeah, it's like a tipi,

right?

That's right, Jacob.

That's right.

How was the drive?

How are the markets,

little bro?

Stock markets? Aren't you

always plain' the markets?

Um...

Yeah, I like to invest,

sometimes.

Hmm. How's law school?

It's fun. Well... it's

pretty hard, you know?

God, it is so crazy to me

that you decided to do

exactly the same thing

that Poppy did.

Same undergrad,

now law school.

Yeah, it is a little weird.

Probably not gonna go

for that post-post-doc

though, huh?

No, probably not.

And total bummer

about Oxford.

Yeah, total.

I was a Rhodes Scholar

finalist,

did you ever know that?

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I didn't even tell them

about Poppy.

I changed my name

and everything.

That's not true.

And they flew me

out to Chicago

for this big fancy

cocktail party.

Also not true.

Don't be jealous, Lindsay.

Don't be lying, Nina.

Seriously, what happened,

bud? Huh?

Poppy said you just didn't

have the grades?

You told her that?

I never said that.

It must be really tough being

the son of such a genius.

Uh, yeah, there's good parts

and bad parts, I guess.

Yeah? What are

the bad parts?

Nina, please.

- Heyo!

Pacifico's my jam.

You didn't bring me one?

You wanted one?

I'm sorry, sweetie.

Oh, sh*t, hey Linsday,

did you want one too?

No, thanks.

Lindsay doesn't drink.

But thank you, Hank.

Not since high school.

Oh, Nina.

Yeah, she was a full-blown

drunk at 16.

That was kind of

embarrassing.

Nina, that's enough.

They would find her

when they went to get

their Wall Street Journal

in the morning.

They'd have to call Poppy

and wake him.

Yeah, at least I didn't date

a f***ing coke dealer

from Oakland.

Both of you, stop it.

Ali was not a coke dealer.

- Yes he was.

No he wasn't and at least I

didn't get knocked up...

Don't you dare!

Come on, come on stop.

Well...

Mr. Hank Presley...

I think I need a cigarette.

Shall we?

It is really good to see you,

TJ.

It's really good to see you,

too, Nina.

I taught him that.

So, how's the house down

in Wyoming, really honey?

Ship shape.

Because Lindsay's probably

right, I should probably stop...

Hmm?

- Everything is fine.

I'm so happy you're here.

Me too.

Okay, that's it.

Boo!

Sweetie, it's okay.

Heeeey! Nice work!

Thanks.

I thought you just did taiko,

Cypress.

No, guitar, too,

since he was four.

Oh, amazing!

You wanna play

"Michael Row your Boat?"

No!

- Hey.

Okay.

Here, give me the guitar.

Whatever for, little bro?

No, Cypress, you play.

No, it's Jacob's turn.

Jacob, I didn't know

you played guitar.

Uh... well not since I was

like 17, but, uh...

Crazy, why'd you quit?

Because Mom got upset

one time,

because Poppy liked when

Uncle Jacob played guitar.

And who told you that?

Thanks, Nina.

Okay, go ahead, Jacob.

You know what, I, uh...

- Play, play, play.

Play, play play!

Yay, Jacob!

Play play play!

Come on.

Okay okay okay.

Uh...

There's a dark and a

troubled side of life

sorry, oops.

I'm sorry, that's good.

Really, it's good. Keep

going.

Uh...

There's a dark and a

troubled side of life

There's a bright and a

sunny side too

Though we'd meet here with

darkness and strife

The sunny side we always

may view

Keep on the sunny side

always on the sunny side

Keep on that sunny side

of life

It'll help you every way

it'll help you every day

Keep on that sunny side

of life

Keep on that sunny side

of life

Yeah, so, South America's

totally hot right now.

Huge S&P numbers.

It's kind of a weird

situation.

Sorry, bud. Sounds rough.

Yeah.

What's kind of

a weird situation?

Uh... nothing.

Whatever. Come to bed.

Yeah, just a sec.

Come on, Jacob.

Gimme a minute.

Damn it! I said no, alright?

Leave me alone!

Be cool, tough guy.

F***.

Uh...

What happened to your butt,

Linds?

What do you mean?

It's gone.

Thanks.

No, I liked your butt.

How'd you sleep?

Like sh*t. Poppy's book room

is a wretched hive

of scum and villainy.

That's from Star Wars.

Downward dog.

Warrior 1.

Warrior 2.

Reverse.

And side angle.

That's a really beautiful

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