Con Man Page #2

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it's a legally

binding document.

It's a contract.

And you cannot sign

a legally binding

business check

if you're only 16.

Now, like I said, if you want to

get your father in here to co-sign...

My father?

It's my company, okay?

I started this thing,

not my dad.

You know this!

Barry, listen.

I'm not one

to stifle entrepreneurship.

I'm impressed with what you've

accomplished, believe me.

But this is the way

the system works.

Now, I have no choice but to

close your account immediately

and return

all outstanding checks.

You said you were

impressed by me. Right?

Then why can't you make

an exception for me?

I'm sorry, kid.

You've seen what I've done.

I really am. I wish it

didn't have to be this way.

But the rules are the rules.

You can't break the rules.

Look at me, kid.

I can't let you

bounce checks on me.

I know.

And I've been

lettin' you skate.

You owe me 800 bucks.

I know.

I know. Look, Victor, man,

you know I'm in trouble

with these checking accounts.

Okay? I would have to be crazy

to try to screw you.

I wouldn't even be in business

if it wasn't for you, man.

I owe you big.

All I got to my name is

20 bucks. Just take it.

Okay, enough.

Okay, look.

You pay me $500 cash

by Friday,

I let the other $300 slide

for one more week.

You got it?

Thank you.

Thank you, man.

I won't let you down.

I promise.

You better not.

Mr. Barry.

Ron, I need a money order

for Sparkle Janitorial Supply

for 500 bucks.

Coming right up.

Hey, Ron,

you got a delivery!

Hey, Barry, give me one sec.

I'll be right back.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, God!

Barry,

you feeling all right?

Yeah... No, no,

I'm good, I'm good.

I saw you on the news. You're

an impressive young man, Barry.

How can I help you?

Mr. Fitzgerald, I've been

to every bank n the area

and no one will open a

business checking account for me

because they say

I'm too young.

Funny thing is,

I already had one open

for over half a year before

anyone ever found out my age.

I would have thought that I had

proven my ability to be responsible.

You don't impress me as being

too young. You seem pretty mature.

I get that all the time.

Look, Mr. Fitzgerald,

I've started a good business.

And I know

what I'm capable of.

I mean, I already have

seven employees,

all of whom are paying taxes

on their wages.

I'm simply a victim of my age.

Well put.

I just need someone

to take a small risk

and put a little trust in me.

Fine. I'll take the chance.

But you'll need to keep me updated

twice a week on ZZZZ Best's status.

Even though every newspaper and

TV show is keeping me posted.

Here, I want you

to sign the bottom here.

Of course.

I'll fill in the rest, okay?

Thank you.

Congratulations.

I won't let you down.

What is this?

What do you think, huh?

What is this?

What?

Dude!

What is this?

Come on, baby.

Jump in, let's go for a spin. What?

How...

How did you afford this, man?

We're not making any profits.

Don't have to afford it.

Just gotta cover

the monthly payments.

Look, it's all about

appearances, my man.

The way you look is the way

the world thinks you are.

Speaking of appearances,

there's a misprint

in the Yellow Pages ad.

It says, "Serving the area

for over 10 years."

That's not a misprint.

It's a business tactic.

Everybody does it.

Nobody is going to check.

What do they have to check?

What, you think

anyone is gonna believe

you started the business

when you were six years old?

That's ambitious, man.

Must have been tough balancing

nap time and making payroll.

You wanna think?

Or you wanna drive?

Let's drive, man.

Fastest car on the market.

Hold on.

I can't stay ahead of expenses no

matter how much business I bring in.

Victor's payments

are killing me.

Mikey...

Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, Mikey.

Check this out.

Yeah. What?

Look at this.

Look, the checks...

The checks from the NorthRidge

account haven't cleared yet.

All right?

So if I write a check from that

account into the second account,

I can cover my shortage until I

can deposit more customer checks.

And then I just run it

the other way

when the NorthRidge account

is short.

Then I never have to

keep the full amount

as long as I deposit

the new money in time.

Yeah. That's called

check kiting.

Really?

I thought I made that up.

No, you did not.

Anyways, anyways,

it doesn't matter.

Yeah, it does, it's illegal.

It doesn't matter.

It's only temporary.

It's only until I can

square things up.

'Cause kids, during the

summertime, are gonna work cheap.

I can go after

more customers,

I can do

more advertising and then...

And then I can

pay it all off...

It's gonna cost you

more money.

I can pay it all off!

Everything's gonna be fine.

Mikey!

You're late.

I know. I know.

I was at Victor's. Sorry.

I had to pick up

some company letterhead.

Letterhead?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, for corporate

documents, that kind of thing.

Did you get another loan?

What do you mean,

did I get another loan?

What do you mean,

what do I mean?

You got another loan?

How much was it? Yes. Yes.

Four grand. But it's not a big

deal. Interest is like $500 a week.

$500 a week! Barry... Okay,

hear me out. Hear me out.

No, no, no.

Give me your hand.

What? Half the reason I got the loan

is because I think that you

deserve a bonus.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Come on, man.

You work your butt off.

I just want you to know

I appreciate you.

Go take out that cute little

girl I saw you with last week.

I...

I think you're gonna

like this place.

All right.

Beats the garage, huh?

It's awesome, man.

Hey, Barry.

I'm up here, Pop.

Well...

Very nice.

Impressive.

Son...

You know

I am so proud of you.

But I don't want you

to get in any trouble.

And I just feel like...

You're in over your head.

Dad, don't tell me

how to run my business.

No, no, no. Your whole life

you've played it safe, okay?

I'm taking my shot here.

Hey...

Why don't you come

work for ZZZZ Best?

You can build up

my commercial accounts.

I'll match your salary at Windy

City with a better commission.

I don't think

that's the best idea.

Come on, Dad.

You've always been at jobs

that didn't require

any talent.

Come work for me.

Show me what you can do.

Come here.

Son...

Hey, Dad?

You start work Monday.

See you later, Mr. Minkow.

Yeah, see you, boys.

That's our new

commercial manager.

You have a sec?

Yeah.

Look at that.

So...

I might not be smart enough

to get it,

but Victor doesn't sell

cleaning equipment, right?

No, but the banks

and insurance companies

don't need to know that.

Right, so...

We purchased 10 Crowell

Triple-Vac Dual Pump...

Water-heated steam cleaners.

I don't know that brand.

That's 'cause

they don't exist.

Sounds good though, right?

Yeah.

Sounds good.

Hey, Mike.

From now on...

"Mr. Minkow."

Hey! If that isn't

the little...

Look at you! Not so little

anymore. What happened to you?

Hey, Uncle Joe.

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