Confession of a Child of the Century Page #4

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and I am vile enough to recall before

you.

Look!

Look at me!

Look at me!

It's all my fault!

My aunt dead,

I'm leaving.

Down to a single colour,

that of mourning.

for a long time.

I won't change it any more.

- I have to leave

- Well, leave then!

But if I don't kill myself, I'll follow

you!

I can't...

These people talking... about you.

About me...

I'm here

Don't... don't leave.

My love will console you.

I swear.

I love you so much

Let's live!

Come on!

Come on, stand up!

How sorry to see you... You know

it's Carnival in Paris now!

Monsieur

C'mon, let's dress up!

You'll no longer have to suffer,

for my pride,

or my madness.

I can be the man that I am.

I can be better.

No! Don't!

Don't!

I'm your poison.

You'll forget me,

and you'll live.

I'll leave here tonight.

Octave!

Determined to make a long journey,

we had at last come to Paris, to make

the necessary preparations.

so easily...

How is your mother?

Dutifully fine.

She can't wait to see you!

I hope so!

And don't forget to give your

mother my best regards...

I'll come and see you as soon as I can

- And thank you for your kind words!

- Thank you!

It was very nice to see you again.

Octave,

this is Monsieur Smith.

Very nice to meet you.

Monsieur Smith?

He's a friend of my family.

You probably saw him at my aunt's

funeral.

My family is trying to persuade me

to go back home.

Take.. take me away!

Let's leave the country!

Let's leave the past behind!

We have to be happy!

We were ready to leave

Brigitte became... listless

more and more every day

She locks herself away to weep.

When I tell her that... that nothing is

set in stone,

that she can still renounce her plans,

she barely answers me.

I don't know what to tell you.

Finally,

three weeks ago,

I had the tickets for our trip. She

suddenly became ill! Confined to her bed

Was this young man...

Monsieur Smith. A country friend of hers

settled in Paris now.

He comes to visit her fairly often.

He and I are so different...

I wonder which is really in the real

world.

Leave as quickly as possible.

Take Brigitte far away from these

concerns.

If she loves me, why is she so

sad?

That's her secret. Respect her, don't

ask her too many questions.

And don't ask yourself too many either!

Wait for her to feel better, and leave!

Brigitte is feeling better.

My heart cries out.

Telling me to leave but.. I linger still

A secret and bitter lust roots me to

the spot.

If she goes with me, will she be happy?

Octave, go!

Go and try to be happy!

Before it's too late!

You still can be happy!

Do I deserve happiness?

Do I deserve to be happier?

Do I deserve...

Do I deserve to be happy?

You were here?

Yes, I was just here.

Carry on.

I love to hear you sing.

Go on.

Are you ready to leave?

Well, at dinner you seemed so set on

leaving that

I immediately called for the horses.

Is it real?

You want to leave tonight?

Well why not Brigitte? Since we both

agree we have to leave Paris.

But now? At this very instant?

Of course!

You're in a travelling mood tonight!

If you want to leave, let's leave.

It's only up to you.

May I come in?

I'm ready. Here I am.

Are we leaving?

- We're leaving

- We're going to leave.

We're going to leave.

I can't... I can't find...

my key to my writing desk.

I don't know where it... I had it only

an hour ago!

I'm ready, Octave.

We can go down.

Well I... wish you a good journey,

my friends.

You will write to us, won't you Henry?

And you won't forget my family?

- You'll do whatever you can for me?

- Of course I will!

You can count on me, I'm...

I'm your devoted servant.

Well, I'll go and see that everything's

in order.

When will I see you again?

Never.

Farewell, Henry

Farewell.

If you don't want to leave with me any

more, just tell me.

Let's go.

Be honest!

One moment more, I...

I have a few papers to burn.

However hard it is for me, if I'm

to lose you,

I'm to lose you, don't give me any hope

I trust you more than ever. It's true!

I promise you the most charming journey.

Geneva! Geneva!

What are you doing Brigitte, if you love

me, what is this horrible

comedy you are playing?

I think I like misery better than our

gaiety.

You are deceiving me.

You love another man.

- Who?

- Smith.

Smith.

Oh, be silent.

If you do not speak now,

I'll leave you for good.

What do you expect me to tell you?

All that's in your heart.

I'm a madwoman, hoping to be believed.

You want to know my secret?

My secret is that I love you.

But you're looking for another one.

I'm a fool.

I'm a fool.

You say I must justify myself?

For what?

For loving?

For dying?

Despairing?

And if I affect false gaiety then, that

gaiety itself offends you!

Everywhere!

Always, whatever I do!

Just...

abuse and anger

In so doing, you deprive yourself of the

sole joy that exists in the world!

Loving with abandon!

You kill all feelings in the heart of

those who love you.

- Brigitte, you...

- No, no you let me!

Let me speak. I too must speak!

You have to... you have to decide.

You have to decide, either love is a

good thing,

or it is evil.

If it is good, you...

you must believe in it.

If it is evil...

you must recover from it.

Who am I then?

Who am I that one should doubt me?

Look at this face of mine!

Look! Look at these...

these thin cheeks,

these poor weary arms,

that are under suspicion.

You wanted dinner,

Octave!

Octave!

Why? Why did...

Why did you love me if it all had

to end like this?

I'm leaving you.

I'm losing you.

I cannot love you as you deserve

to be loved.

Will I see you again?

Never.

Never!

Never.

You will recover from all the pain

I've caused you.

Will you forget me?

I'm leaving you.

I'm losing you.

I cannot love you as you deserve to

be loved.

I'm leaving you.

I'm leaving you.

I'll die an honest man.

You're a child who thought he was a man.

It's too late today. We won't be leaving

We are often deceived in love,

often hurt,

and often unhappy.

But we love.

We say to ourselves, "I've suffered

often"

" I've been mistaken at times, but I've

loved!"

"It is I who has lived,

and not some artificial being created by

my arrogance,

by my boredom. "

I have loved.

I will still have the courage...

I will still have the courage to believe

it.

Blessed is he who escapes his times.

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