Confessions Of A Shopaholic

When I was a little girl,

there were real prices and mom prices.

Real prices got you shiny,

sparkly things that lasted three weeks,

and mom prices got you brown things...

...that lasted forever.

You notice they were 50 percent off?

Look at...

But when I looked

into shop windows,

I saw another world.

A dreamy world full of perfect things.

A world where grown-up girls

got what they wanted.

They were beautiful.

Like fairies or princesses.

They didn't even need any money,

they had magic cards.

I wanted one.

Little did I know...

...I would end up with 12.

Rebecca Bloomwood.

Occupation:
Journalist.

Jacket:
Visa. Dress: AMEX.

Belt:
MasterCard.

It's vintage. And I got

one percent cash back.

Bag:
Gucci!

And worth every penny.

Moving to New York, I met guys.

And that kind of put things

in perspective.

'Cause you know that thing, when you see

someone cute and he smiles,

and your heart kind of goes

like warm butter

sliding down hot toast?

Well, that's what it's like

when I see a store.

Only it's better.

You see,

a man will never love you

or treat you as well as a store.

If a man doesn't fit, you can't

exchange him seven days later

for a gorgeous cashmere sweater.

And a store always smells good.

A store can awaken a lust for things

you never even knew you needed.

And when your fingers grasp

those shiny, new bags...

Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

Oh, no... I spent $900.

So you are covering

the yard and tool expo, right?

I'm on it.

OK, don't panic.

Calm. Calm. Bloomingdale's.

Well, that would be the pants.

I had to get the pants to match the...

- Oh, shoes.

- I...

Hold on...

- Somebody's stolen my credit card!

- Oh, my God.

Somebody has stolen

my credit card and gone

on an insane spending spree

around New York.

- No!

- Yeah!

Outdoor World? I've never been

to Outdoor World.

Yes, you have.

- You bought that tent, remember?

- No, I didn't.

- For Kristen's going-away present.

- Never seen a tent.

I organized the collection

and gave you the money.

Oh...

"Special skills:
Fencing"?

Fluent in Finnish?

What?

Who doesn't pad their resume?

Shoe! Thanks.

Why can't you get changed

in your own office?

And let everyone at Gardening Today

know I've secretly arranged

an interview at Alette magazine?

Did I mention I have

an interview at Alette magazine?

Only about a billion times.

- OK...

- It's kind of a leap, isn't it?

Gardening to fashion?

I mean, not that I meant

you couldn't do it...

Suze... since I was 14

I wanted to work at Alette magazine.

If I can just get this job

I will be happy forever.

Wow.

Rebecca, you just

got a credit card bill of $900.

You do not need a scarf.

Then again...

...who needs a scarf?

Wrap some old jeans around

your neck, that'll keep you warm.

That's what your mother would do.

You're right, she would.

The point about this scarf is that

it would become part

of a definition of your...

Of your psyche.

Do you see what I mean?

No, I do. Keep talking.

It would make your eyes look bigger.

Mmm...

It would make my haircut

look more expensive.

You'd wear it with everything.

It would be an investment.

You would walk into

that interview confident.

- Confident.

- And poised.

- Poised.

- The girl in the green scarf.

The green scarf, please.

Good choice. It's the last one.

That'll be $120.

How would you like to pay?

Here's $50 in cash,

can you put 30 on this card...

Ten on that.

Twenty on that.

- It's so cute.

- Declined.

Really? Could you just...

Could you try it again?

Really declined.

- Could you put this to one side...?

- I can't hold sale items.

- Excuse me. It's an emergency.

- Back of the line!

Excuse me, this is an emergency.

Excuse you, excuse me!

- Do you do cash back?

- What?

If I give you a check for $23,

will you give me

one of your hot dogs

and $20 cash back, please?

- Do I look like a bank?

- I have an interview.

They don't hold items.

It's a desperately important scarf.

Desperately important scarf.

Know what? It's for my great-aunt.

She's in the hospital.

Can you ask them

to turn the heating up?

Want mustard with that?

Please. I will buy all of your hot dogs.

- You'll take 97 hot dogs?

- Done.

Who do I make it...

That means you just paid

$23 for a hot dog!

You want your scarf, I want my hot dog.

Cost and worth

are very different things.

Thank you! My aunt

will really appreciate it.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I'm here for the interview

at Alette magazine.

Alette... Oh, filled, internally.

Yesterday.

They did post it on the Web.

Let's see, who got the job?

Oh...

Speak of the devil.

Alicia... Billington.

She has the longest legs in the world.

She notes resentfully.

Great. Faulty.

- Nice scarf.

- Thanks. I bought it for the interview.

Scusi...

Come on.

As we speak, interviews are being held

at Successful Saving.

- The money magazine?

- Snort not, sweet child.

Alette may be your Emerald City,

but Successful Saving

could be your yellow-brick road.

Dantay-West is a family of magazines

that acts like a family.

Deeply nepotistic. Ugh.

So my advice to you, dear Dorothy,

is thus...

Once you're in... you're in.

I'm in.

Hello, Successful Saving.

Ms. Bloomwood?

So what form does this interview take?

Is it just mainly

a general chat, hobbies...

Oh, no, no, no.

It's very specific on finance.

Butterfly investments, futures.

That sort of thing.

- But he's worth 1 .2 billion...

- Good luck.

- Thanks.

- We talked and talked. Said nothing.

Yeah, of course I did.

He understands the rules.

It's always...

Of course we got the bill.

Listen, I've got to go.

I'm interviewing.

Mm-mm.

Yeah, no, not me... Bye.

Sorry about that.

Right, um, Rebecca...

- Ah! We met!

- Hi! We did. Thank you.

Sick aunt, scarf. Yep.

Did you get it to her?

I did. And when a stranger

is kind like that, it's just...

- Wow.

- That's lovely. Um...

- Do you have a resume for me?

- I do. Yes, I do!

Ah...

I... could pretty much just tell you.

My name is Rebecca Bloomwood,

I've been a journalist for five years.

I'm very comfortable juggling numbers,

I speak fluent Finnish, I know...

- Finnish?

- Yes, Finnish.

- I'm also...

- That's interesting. Why Finnish?

What's behind you?

- Um...

- Oh, my God.

Oh, it's a naked man. Oh, sorry.

It gave me such a fright. I, uh...

I didn't know what it was.

Clearly, he's beheaded.

Who would do that to him?

Well, a few questions.

But, look! Makes you wonder

what they're looking at

on the fifth floor, right?

You could turn your desk around

and just stare at it all day.

I would.

- Not.

- Ms. Bloomwood.

I'm not a pervert.

Sit down.

I'm sorry, I'm terrible at interviews.

Any financial stories that have

caught your eye recently?

Yes. And I am glad

that you brought that up.

Because I am furious.

No, I really am.

No, I mean, what is the story

with the recent fish crisis?

Fish crisis?

- Fiscal... crisis.

- Fiscal crisis.

- Terrifying. Fiscally, I mean.

- How so?

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