Confessions Of A Shopaholic Page #2

- For the fiscal family.

- I'm sorry.

- Not a moment too soon.

- Ms. Bloomwood, you dropped your scarf.

She died.

Oh, Ms. Bloomwood, you have had

a very, very tough 25 minutes.

I'm glad you understand!

So many people just... Right.

OK, so I would propose we curtail...

Did you just scrub my name off?

- Oh, no. Routine.

- That seems premature.

OK, I'm gonna propose that

we curtail this interview forthwith.

So I'll leave you and your numbers,

but thank you very much for seeing me,

and I appreciate... Oh!

I appreciate everything.

Good day.

Good day.

Come on. Let's go give

Mrs. Great Outdoors her tent.

She's not retiring.

- What?

- She's abandoning a sinking ship.

That little rat! The magazine's

folding and she knew!

She knew and she didn't tell anybody.

Well, on the bright side,

you hated working for that magazine.

It was my income, Suze.

I need my income!

OK, Bex, the most important thing

is not to panic.

- Don't answer the phone!

- No!

- It might be a debt collector!

- Hello?

- It's Derek Smeath.

- The list. Get the list!

- I think I saw it over here.

- Take the lamp!

- It's here!

- Bloomingdale's...

- Hospital for depression.

- Detained in Finland on work.

Visa, dead dog.

All City Debt Collection.

You have to do it.

- Hello! Hi!

- Ms. Bloomwood?

- Hello.

- I'm sorry. It's actually not.

She's still recovering from...

You know... OK.

I'll have her call you as soon as...

- Yes?

- As soon as she's come back

- from... From...

- Finland! Finland!

- Clearly she's not too...

- Aah!

Why do so many of your excuses

involve Finland?

'Cause no one checks up

on Finland, Tarkie.

How am I going to pay you the rent now?

Well, I'm ripping up your rent check!

No, Suze, you can't do it again.

It's my apartment,

well, my parent's apartment,

- but it's my rules.

- I'm gonna buy you the biggest present.

I am! I know where I'm going to go.

There's a sale at Macy's!

Tarkie...

I'll be at my place.

Thanks, baby. Bex, I'll get

the tequila, you get the bills.

I'll do this. It can't be that bad.

It's just like a Band-Aid.

It's gonna be fine.

Bex! Two hundred dollars

on Marc Jacobs underwear?

Oh, underwear is a basic human right.

Seventy-eight dollars

on lavender honey!

I felt sorry for the shop assistant.

She had a lazy eye.

I didn't know which way

she was looking. It was so sad.

I can't even talk about this one.

A foot spa? What were you

doing at a foot spa?

Let's take a break.

They said I was a valued customer.

Now they send me hate mail.

Bex.

Oh, God...

How are you going to pay off

sixteen thousand twelve hundred

and 62 dollars

and 70 cents with no job?

I could win the lottery.

Maybe you should have a backup plan.

Oh! Backup plan, I got it, I got it.

Backup plan.

OK. When Tarkie

thought of his dream job,

he, um, wrote this proposal

just about him, you know,

what he's made of

and that's what you can do.

You can write a fashion piece

and send it to Alette.

Like, "Hey, Alette, look what I can do!"

You just gotta figure out

what to write about.

"Consider your shoe an investment.

Everything is resting upon it.

The most important point

is that every shoe

should earn its place in your..."

Bex, this is so funny. You're so smart.

- You're the best writer ever!

- Do you like it?

- You're fabulous!

- Wait! Another one.

To that guy at that savings thingy

magazine who didn't hire me.

"Dear Uptight Editor...

- You can stick your job up your ass."

- Man on a bike!

Hello!

"Here's $20. Buy yourself

some decent clothes."

I'm back!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

This is for Alette magazine.

Please, please. Kiss it for good luck.

- Mwah!

- And this one...

...is for Mr. Successful Saving.

Bleah... Money, money, money.

I better get the job, I've got no money.

I've got no money.

You put the lime in the coconut...

Doesn't this just cheer you up?

- It's not working, Mom.

- Come on, you'll get another job.

Life is like a swap meet.

You never know

when great riches...

...are going to turn up unexpectedly.

What can I get for a quarter?

This!

- Like it?

- It's fantastic.

- What are they gettin' for that?

- It's growing on me.

- How much for this?

- Twenty dollars.

- Oh!

- Hello?

Um, Rebecca. Luke Brandon,

Successful Saving.

Yes?

Sorry to call so early,

but I got your letter.

And I have to say

it was a bit of a surprise.

Well, I hope I made my point.

Oh, you did. You did. Very well.

The whole metaphor. Very clever.

Yes, wasn't it.

The whole metaphor was...

Wait... What? I'm sorry...

Describing the principles

of security investment

in terms of the way different women

purchase different shoes

was... different.

Hello? Sounds like you might be

in the middle of something.

I was trying to say

that it gave me an idea.

Would you like

to come in? I don't...

Can I help you, dear?

I think I just sent the editor

of Alette magazine $20

to buy herself decent clothes

and stick her job up her ass.

These go...

- Hey, clothes for Alette.

- I'll call her assistant.

Hi. Clothes are here

for Alette's approval.

She'll be right out.

What do you think about you and me

going out on Friday night?

- Ooh...

- I mean, if you want to.

Would you like to go out

on Friday night?

I don't know. I might have plans.

You might... Do you

ever wear any of this stuff?

Some of it's a little far out for me.

- Totally far out.

- Yeah.

It's crazy, but I guess that's

the world of high fashion?

- Yes.

- Yeah, I know about that.

I am one of the best. I don't

let this out of my sight.

I guard it with my life.

A lot of pressure on me

to make sure everyone

gets these letters...

- Get them there on time.

- Got to get my job done.

See, I take my job very seriously.

- Yes. And to deliver...

- Oh, really?

And to deliver the mail,

but as the mail carrier

it's a lot of pressure on me

to get people their letters,

I've never lost a letter yet.

I want

no more vertical buttonholes.

I'm so bored with vertical buttonholes.

Is this for the Kaleidoscope shoot

with Paolo?

Oh, but this!

Cavalli.

He has read my mind.

It's marvelous. We can use it all.

Take it in.

Oh, God.

What are you doing?

This is Alette.

Is this where you should be?

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Dantay-West didn't hire me to be

an editor of this magazine.

They hired me to throw it a rope

and pull it out of the swamp.

And that's...

Hi, everyone.

I'm Rebecca Bloomwood.

Sit down, Rebecca.

What makes a magazine

move from the newsstands?

Real, unvarnished stories,

whether the people that we are

writing about like them or not.

Successful Saving is currently

the People magazine

of financial journalism,

and this is where that ends.

From now...

Sorry.

From now on

we don't copy, we examine.

- We probe.

- Ooh!

I liked your piece.

I said that on the phone.

- Good. Good.

- Hayley!

What do you say a three-week trial.

- And give her this cubicle.

- Oh, this one's lovely.

They're all three by six.

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