Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen Page #5

She's alone, the one who's

gagging and not breathing.

I have to be with her

at all times.

Okay.

Good plan.

Maybe we should just go

to the hotel.

What?

And miss the concert?

Yeah, I don't think so.

We're not actually

at the concert.

We're close.

Stu Wolff's only

a few yards away from us.

And then he'll be

at the after-party with us.

Your belief system amazes me.

Ella, where are you going?

Don't leave me!

Come back!

Ella!

Ella, what are you doing?

I'm going back to the hotel.

So you're just gonna give up?

What if everyone gave up, Ella?

There'd be no America,

no electricity, no TiVo.

We'd all have to watch our shows

at their scheduled times.

We'd never get to see

the work of Rene Zellweger

or Christina Aguilera.

If everyone gave up,

we'd all be sitting in mud huts

in Europe eating weeds.

I didn't say stop progress.

I just said,

"Go back to the hotel."

Don't you want to see

the look on Carla's face

when we show up at that party?

Yeah, I do.

Great!

Then let's go to Soho.

Where in Soho?

We don't even know

where Stu lives.

Sure, we do.

I have this.

A picture of a door?

It's not just a door.

It's a black door with windows.

Have some faith, Ella.

Soho is New York's

artistic soul.

It's just around the corner.

67 blocks is around the corner?

-Ready?

-Yeah.

Ready?

Ohh.

There's a man following us.

Don't be silly, Ella.

The crime rate in New York

is going down.

Come on.

Let's go.

There's a man

and a dog following us.

Okay. Stay here.

I'll handle this.

New Yorkers

know how to handle trouble.

Watch this.

Hey! Hey!

-Dad, what are you doing here?

-Your mom called.

Asked me to keep an eye on you.

She got nervous.

Mom was born nervous.

So, where are you going?

To a party.

Not like that.

You're all wet.

Daddy, nothing can rain

on my parade.

I like parties.

Please, Dad, if you show up,

then Stu Wolff

will never think I'm cool.

Can't you wait outside

or something?

Right outside.

But if I see something even

slightly wrong, I'm coming in.

You know, I really like parties.

Thanks, Dad.

And could you lay low?

You're scaring my friend.

Right.

But I'll be watching.

Well, he won't be

bothering us anymore.

So, are you ready to have fun?

I hope so.

Okay. Good.

Yeah!

That was the Santini car.

Hi! Lola Steppe.

Ella Gerard.

Nice to see you again.

I have to see your invitations.

Strange you should ask.

We left them at the concert.

Our names should be on the list.

There they are.

Dr. And Mrs. Lawrence?

Yeah.

My mom and my dad.

They couldn't make it.

My mom has a rash,

and my dad's in surgery.

I thought your name was Steppe.

Could I just use your phone?

I have to call my parents.

This is a private residence,

not Grand Central Station.

Use a public phone.

Whoa, whoa!

Stu, this is your own party!

It's your own party.

You don't tell me

what to do anymore, Steve.

Don't you remember?

It's over.

Come inside before you

embarrass yourself.

You touch me...

Yeah, remember?

He's been trouble

all over the world.

Thank God he's not

our problem anymore.

Steve! Steve!

I love you.

Wait, let me just talk to you

for one minute.

Except for the garbage

and the cars,

it's like following Heathcliff

on the moors.

-Maybe we shouldn't.

-Would you please relax?

I'd rather lose him

than lose my life.

-Where do you think he's going?

-Someplace great.

This for you is great?

I'm getting really scared being

out here all alone, Lola.

We're not alone.

We're with an adult.

Aside from the fact

that he isn't actually with us,

he isn't actually an adult.

He's a rock star.

Mr. Wolff?

What?

Come with me.

Come on.

Help me get him out.

Oh. Oh.

He smells like

a backed-up drain.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

I mean, see the beauty.

Oh, my God.

He's crying.

Do you believe how lucky we are?

I almost hear them praying

that we don't sit near them.

Quickly get him into a booth

before anyone smells him.

Ah.

Ohh.

Everybody wants something

from me.

You think I'm a regular guy.

I'm not a regular guy.

Do you think anybody

really knows who I am?

I don't even know who I am.

Once we get some coffee in him,

he'll become the man

of truth, passion,

and unflagging courage

I know him to be.

So, what will it be?

Do you think I have

any real friends?

We'll just have coffee.

Not me.

I'll have a deluxe hamburger

platter, well-done,

and a large side of onion rings.

You could just give him coffee.

He's not really up to a meal

right now.

I want

a deluxe hamburger platter.

Is that too difficult?

You two better keep him in line.

The boss won't stand

for any nonsense.

What do you want?

Autographs?

Money?

A record deal?

Hey, there, girls,

do you want something from me?

This is a poet

who lit your darkest days?

Didn't I tell you

he was a tortured soul?

Stu, do you have

any cash on you?

We sort of left ours

on the train.

I knew you wanted money.

Look.

Nothing.

That's not onion rings.

Can you believe this?

We're actually having coffee

with Stu Wolff.

I have so much to ask you

about your work.

It's impossible

to talk to someone

who's had that much to drink.

You know, you just don't

understand the artistic soul.

He drinks so much to numb

the intensity of his feelings.

All geniuses do, Ella.

I want onion rings.

This is a donut!

I want onion rings.

Now.

What is wrong with

the service around here?

Are we together?

Who are you?

The fates have sort of

brought us together.

-This is Ella.

-Ella what?

Ella Gerard.

58 Birch Hollow Road,

Dellwood, New Jersey.

201-555-0199.

My parents are staying

at the New York Hilton.

I don't want to worry them

by being incarcerated.

It's my mother's birthday.

I bought her a rug.

Be quiet, Mr. Wolff.

You?

Lola Steppe.

My father's name

is Calum Steppe.

Address is 512 Bleecker Street.

212-555-0125.

All right, the three of you,

sit over there

while I make some calls.

What's wrong with you?

Why did you lie like that

to the police?

They're gonna find out

that your father is dead.

What's going on?

-Who are you two?

-What's wrong with you?

You're not afraid of what

your parents are gonna say?

I'm resigned

to what life may bring,

but why did you give

a false address?

You know, Ella, I think

your true soul and spirit

are finally beginning to emerge.

Why did you lie?

I didn't lie.

My father does live

on Bleecker Street.

And he has a rent-controlled

apartment and a dog named Negus.

You told me your father died

in a motorcycle accident.

So I exaggerated a little.

A little?

Exaggerating a little is saying

you're a little taller.

Saying your father is dead

when he's not

is lying beyond comprehension.

Can we talk about this later?

We should tell Stu

what happened first.

You should tell me

what happened.

Why did you say

your father was dead?

He died?

When?

I had a reason.

And what was that?

The truth?

No, a lie will do.

Yes, the truth!

You do remember what that is,

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