Congo Page #3

- You would.

You have any idea what's going on

in the Congo as of this morning?

The Kigani have had it with Zaire

and they're eating people.

You go in with Reynolds, you're coming out

somebody's bowel movement.

There you go. Now wasn't that

easier than going through customs?

Monroe.

- Guess what?

- What?

- We need to switch airports.

- Oh, sh*t, why?

Bomb in the president's car.

It was the president's car?

Did they get him?

That's the bad news. No, they didn't.

- I hope you folks have lots of money.

- We do.

Thank you. Now run away.

Oh, come on, man, run away.

- Get in the back.

- What about equipment?

Leave it to Eddie. I would hurry, really.

- Is this normal?

- Get in the truck.

- You're on your own, Eddie.

- Yeah, how I like it.

- Where do you want me to set you up?

- Get a DC-3.

A grass strip south of Kegoma. Get it

stripped. Keep this from the company.

First the Kigani in Zaire, now this godfather

stuff. Not a good day to be in Africa.

- Lower the flaps.

- So long, good luck!

Now sit down.

I'm getting out of here. Unh!

- What's going on?

- Are we safe?

It's all right, just bumpy.

Just a few bumps.

Amy, leave that man alone.

Amy, don't inhale.

- Karen Ross?

- That's me.

Monroe Kelly.

I'm your great white hunter for this trip.

- Though I happen to be black.

- How bad is this news for us?

Whenever the leadership of one of these little

Central African countries comes into question...

they tend to murder everybody.

- Oh, my God!

- Not really?

They live for the opportunity

to settle scores.

And they've got a lot of scores to settle.

It's like what's going on in the Congo.

- Things are pretty bad in the Congo.

- We heard.

The Kigani are pissed off.

Can't blame them. The 20th century sucks.

Maybe the 21st will be better.

- You some kind of criminal, aren't you?

- Aren't we all?

No. I'm not a criminal, I'm a scientist.

Scientist?

I run a few guns,

you sons of b*tches ruin the world.

I don't think it's a good idea to have

further involvement with these people.

What would you suggest we do, Dr. Elliot?

As soon as we can,

we should go our own way.

- Ugh.

- Don't I know you?

Perhaps. I travel a great deal.

- What are you doing with that gorilla?

- Taking her home.

She was caught

in the Virunga region of the Congo.

You're going to try and take her back

to the farm now that she's seen Paris?

- And this is your cover?

- Yes.

Pretty good. Or, it would have been.

- I'm nobody's cover. Cover for what?

- You find yourself in the middle of something.

- Cover for what?

- I don't know, and she won't tell you.

But the kind of money

her company is throwing around?

They don't spend that for any gorilla.

Relax. You're in better hands

than you should be.

No one can go to Zaire.

The border is shut. There is a revolt.

That's not my fault. Where's my gorilla?

- The gorilla will be kept...

- That is very precious...

- isn't this a hospital?

- This one's decided to speak.

- This is pure Kafka.

- Who is Kafka? Tell me!

- Monroe.

- Captain Wanta.

How are you?

Miss Ross, such a pleasure.

Have some, uh, coffee and cake.

Have some!

You have our visas. Our manifest.

This is a legitimate scientific mission.

You have no right to detain us.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

So says my computer, Miss Ross.

Ah. You used to work for the CIA.

And now you're TraviCom.

- TraviCom pays better than the CIA?

- You have a big mouth.

Everybody says that about me.

What can I do?

Monroe, you have

the worst timing in the world.

Tell me about it.

They blew up the president's Mercedes,

did you know?

It's a big plot. Our country will

be in sh*t for at least a year.

- Captain, I need that truck.

- You need the truck.

You also need ten good men to the border.

More.

Mr. Homolka?

Mm.

Stop eating my sesame cake.

Stop eating my sesame cake!

Mm.

What are you doing in my country,

you bag of sh*t?

Captain, please.

I only wish to explore and discover.

This fellow is a big bag of sh*t.

Shake this rat from off your neck. He owes

money to everybody everywhere he goes.

I will ask you to wait outside, Mr.

Homolka.

I like that, Miss Ross. You surprise him.

Ah.

Hey-

So I put this away.

Don't want nobody peeking.

You know, it's the gorilla that's going

to get you across the border safely.

Everybody's so afraid of being seen in an

American movie being cruel to a gorilla.

This is the crazy world we live in.

Okay, you can go.

Hit the road, as they say.

And have a nice day.

- You all right?

- Yeah.

Admit it, you're glad to see me.

- Kahega!

- Ah, Monroe!

Kikuyu tribesman, very nice guy.

- Are we in Zaire?

- Tanzania.

Stay close to me. Amy. Amy, come on.

- Somehow, I think this is at my expense.

- You're right.

When do you think we will

get to the rainforest?

- Herkermer Homolka, right?

- Yes. Hi, hello.

You're not looking for

Solomon's city again, are you?

What are you talking about?

Mr. Homolka was part of

a disastrous expedition...

- about, what, five years ago?

- I would prefer you...

They were looking for a city called Zinj.

Unfortunately, it doesn't exist.

- It does exist!

- Fine.

Three members of his safari

died from exposure.

- A fourth was shot by we don't know who.

- It was an appalling suicide.

We won't quibble. And Mr. Homolka

had to be carried out of the jungle...

by, as I remember it, me.

I knew he wasn't a Romanian philanthropist.

Oh, he's Romanian. And he has

done good, but mostly for Mr. Homolka.

- Shut up, you filthy...

- Filthy what?

Forgive me. All that

traveling has left me...

."shaken.

Think nothing of it. All aboard!

- What's all this stuff?

- Courtesy of Eddie Ventro.

Eddie! What happened?

Ugh. A customs guy hit me with a can

of peanut oil for stamping visas.

I'm never going back to that country, man.

- Those people have permanently wigged out.

- Ha, ha.

- Dr. Ross.

- Hi.

Equipment list. You got everything but the

balloon and the home entertainment center.

- Ah. Your boss says "Call me."

- Okay.

You got 11 good guys, significant

firepower, significant technology.

More than that

I don't think you're gonna need. Agree?

- I agree.

- Good luck.

- Bye, Eddie.

- Bye, Monroe.

- May I?

- There's one thing I don't understand, Monroe.

What's that, Dr. Elliot?

If the border to Zaire is shut...

- how do we get across?

- Luck.

What's going on?

What the hell is that?

Sh*t. I thought we'd get farther.

I'd put her out now.

- Oh, you would? Who's firing on us?

- Kahega!

We crossed the border into Zaire.

We're violating airspace.

- She likes bananas?

- Sure.

Here, eat this, darling.

She's going to feel great.

- What do you mean?

- Something to keep her calm. Gorilla Prozac.

- Can we make it to Bondo?

- I don't know!

That last one was a heat-seeker.

We're done.

- What are you doing?

- Step aside, please.

Hey-

Miss Ross. Here.

- Why are they putting on parachutes?

- Figure it out.

- Take it.

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