Conspiracy Theory Page #11

EXT. NEW YORK NEWS - NIGHT

Flip watches from his wheelchair as the BMW pulls up. It

takes him a minute to recognize...

FLIP:

Jerry? You didn't show last

night. First time ever. Had me

worried, boy.

JERRY:

Sorry, Flip.

(re:
Liza)

Got sidetracked.

Flip glances at Liza, thinks he understands. As he winks

at Jerry, Liza rolls her eyes to the heavens. Flip

retrieves a double stack of newspapers and magazines.

FLIP:

Saved you last night's, too.

JERRY:

Flip was a hero in Vietnam.

FLIP:

Sure was. Pounded the V.C. for

this Greek cat named Ari Onasis.

Flip smiles as he wheels back over. He likes Jerry.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Jerry and Liza by the window. Jerry hands her the front

page of The New York Times. As Jerry scarfs bread...

JERRY:

Just look at it. Ten seconds and

you'll be scared out of your mind.

As Liza scans the paper, a waiter sets a small salad in

front of her and a big bowl of spaghetti and sausage in

front of Jerry. He digs in like a five-year-old.

JERRY:

(re:
salad)

You worked all day for that?

Lettuce, tomatoes, no dressing.

That's what, you're punishing

yourself, right?

She looks up. An odd beat. Is Jerry on to something?

LIZA:

You have the right to ask me

certain personal questions?

JERRY:

(slurps noodles)

Yeah. I think so.

Liza hands him back the paper.

LIZA:

Nothing scary there. Sorry.

JERRY:

Oh, well, maybe to the untrained

eye.

(scans it)

Hmm... Ahh...

(raises eyebrows)

Ooooo...

Liza waits as Jerry spreads out the paper.

JERRY:

More about life on Mars. From a

rock they found on the South Pole.

Explain that one to me. But maybe

we should go to Mars and find out?

How much do you think that's going

to cost?

LIZA:

What is it with you and the space

program?

JERRY:

And look here. Cease fire in

Chechenia. That's good for the

banks who lent the government

money, but bad for the guys

selling them weapons.

(scanning article)

Listen to this, some gas company

in Colorado. Their researchers

have been blocked from testing a

fuel additive. They've accused

the E.P.A. of, quote, 'turning a

blind eye to the future.'

Jerry grabs a dollar bill from the tip of the adjacent

table. He turns it over, points out the "eye" above the

pyramid.

JERRY:

Well that's the eye right there.

Money. And all the power and

misery it brings with it.

It's a plot to take over the

world. The Master Conspiracy.

Can take a lifetime to pull off.

LIZA:

Do they have a secret handshake?

Jerry takes her hand. He shakes it, employing various

complex machinations. Finished, he regards her intently.

LIZA:

That's it?

JERRY:

I have no idea.

She laughs. He got her that time. But after a beat...

LIZA:

So why are they after you?

JERRY:

I'm not sure. I think I figured

something out.

(lowers voice)

It must've been in my newsletter.

LIZA:

What newsletter?

Jerry crosses his lips with his finger, shushes her. He

motions her forward so he can whisper. She leans in.

At that moment -- a GUNSHOT!

In one motion, Jerry stands, throws his chair through the

plate glass window. As GLASS RAINS down, he's already

got one foot out on the sidewalk. He reaches back for

Liza.

JERRY:

Come on!

Then Jerry sees the waiter, standing nearby, a bottle of

wine in one hand, a popped cork in the other -- the

source of the sound. Jerry looks back to Liza.

JERRY:

So I'm a little jumpy. Who

wouldn't be?

LIZA:

You're certifiable.

JERRY:

You wouldn't be sitting here if

you didn't halfway believe me.

LIZA:

Believe you about what?

Jerry shrugs. As the manager storms over, Liza peels off

a hundred dollar bill.

LIZA:

(re:
window)

Will that cover it?

He shakes his head. As she peels off a few more...

JERRY:

You know that hour you gave me to

impress you? How much of it is

left?

INT. JERRY'S VILLAGE BROWNSTONE - HALLWAY - NIGHT

Liza enters by a window at the fire escape. Jerry

follows. His side is obviously bothering him.

LIZA:

You okay?

JERRY:

Flesh wound. No big deal.

Jerry heads for the door to his apartment.

LIZA:

I still don't think we had to park

a mile away.

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