Conversations with My Gardener Page #7

That's my wife 20 years ago.

- You still love her?

- Yes.

I think so.

I'll fetch some sheets.

- Tell me...

- Yes.

Can I ask you something crazy?

If it doesn't upset you...

I don't want to be a bother.

But if you could...

Go on.

I'd like you to paint

the things I love.

What, for instance?

You know my tastes.

Not fancy or anything...

just a bit of colour so I remember.

I'll try.

Right... goodnight, Gardener.

Goodnight, Dauber.

All these cars!

Last time I came it wasrt this bad.

- When was that?

- 20 years back.

On the way to Algeria.

You went to Algeria?

The wife's Kabyle.

A Kabyle from Kabylia.

Well, she was born there.

Then she came to France.

Suburbs of Marseille.

- How did you meet your wife?

- At a dance.

We met because neither of us dance.

What were you both doing

at a dance, then?

A railway ball, south-west region.

She cleaned the passenger trains.

A hell of a schedule.

I was on ballast morning till night,

she'd often start at midnight

or even later.

It must have its advantages.

We had two daughters, mind you.

Did you like Algeria?

It's very sandy.

It's quite a trip, though.

The trip...

the plane...

- I prefer trains.

- Naturally, it's yourjob.

Once you're in a plane, that's it.

And it moves about.

They're used to it, but me...

I was pouring with sweat.

Up there, I was expecting

to see half the world.

Not a bit!

Clouds everywhere

and the sun up above...

We've an appointment this afternoon.

How do you feel?

You're not tired?

No, I'm all right.

I'll show you something.

Oh? Show me what?

Paintings.

Isn't it lovely?

Go on, look.

Shadows, light...

You know this.

The Raft of the Medusa.

- Tired?

- A little.

Let's sit down.

Oh, look. I know this one.

- It was on the 100-franc note.

- That's right.

"Liberty guiding the people."

We had it on a calendar at home.

We liked it.

But as it changes every year,

we threw it away. Shame.

Let's go. I think you've seen

enough paintings.

Come on.

You'll be fine here.

Too fine.

I doubt my insurance will cover it.

Don't worry about that.

I heard you were here

but I was busy.

Hello.

- Hello.

- Sir.

Our patient?

We'll look after your friend.

All manner of scans and tests.

Evelyne will show you to your room.

This way, sir.

Go on, I'll join you.

He has bowel problems.

He almost fainted yesterday

and I panicked.

Good.

Panic is the mother of safety,

the seed of reason.

Far better than regret,

which can be eternal.

- Very reassuring!

I'll be right there.

- Well?

- I need to talk.

I operated this morning.

Unfortunately...

there was nothing I could do

so I closed.

It's too late.

I'm sorry, I can do nothing.

You mean he's...

I fear so.

How long does he have?

I can't really say, but not long.

Can I see him?

Yes, he woke up a while ago.

He's in his room.

See this?

I've got wires everywhere.

Just like the telly.

Time's already hanging heavy.

But I'm killing it, as they say.

Or else it's killing me.

- What time did they operate?

- Early this morning.

A nurse arrived

with a whole band of pilgrims.

I woke up, the drawer

had been opened and closed.

I can't feel anything, anyway.

So that's OK.

Good.

- I should call your wife.

- No need.

The son-in-law came, he'll do it.

You must have seen him leaving.

I didn't notice.

You wouldn't have recognised him.

He's covered in bandages.

Oh, yes.

But I thought...

he was a patient.

What happened?

Last Saturday, Parc des Princes,

PSG v. OM.

There was a scrap

and he wanted to help

his old friends.

He forgot he was wearing

PSG uniform.

Fifteen of them jumped on him!

The berk!

You can say that again.

I've got good news.

I can leave next week.

That's great. I'll come for you.

Here, I brought you this.

A new moped

calls for a new helmet.

- You shouldn't have.

- Right...

I'll let you get some rest.

- I'll call tomorrow.

- There's no need.

Leave me alone a while.

And the wife will come running

when she hears.

Go on, I've seen enough of you.

And thanks, Dauber.

Bye, Gardener.

Bye.

See you tomorrow.

- You scared me!

- Sorry.

- What brings you here?

- I was just passing.

- Are you well?

- Yes.

- I'm not disturbing you?

- No. But I've a date.

- Oh.

- With Irne.

But I've time.

Is Irne well?

Yes, she's fine.

Why are you laughing?

You don't often ask after others.

Especially Irne.

It was your daughter.

I'd have been on for an hour.

Is she well?

My word!

Yes, she's fine.

Did she tell you?

Of course she did.

I was stupid.

I should have let it slide.

It's her life after all.

What's the difference, anyway?

You're wrong.

What you say counts.

She broke up with him.

Because of me?

Maybe. Who knows?

You don't look well.

- Are you ill?

- No, I'm OK.

Sure?

I'll cancel Irne.

Thanks.

She has lovely eyes.

I didn't lie.

Stop it, it's embarrassing.

- Are you embarrassed?

- No.

- It's true, you have lovely eyes.

- Thank you.

He knows, he's seen plenty.

What colour are your wife's eyes?

- You don't know?

- Hazel, I think.

How's it going?

Better.

You patched things up.

Yes. Like you say, I'm patched up.

That's good.

Stop it.

No! I want to walk home.

We're responsible for you.

- Pretend I'm already home.

- We can't take the risk.

Don't worry, I'll see to everything.

I can manage.

I'm glad to be back, though.

Right, I'll let you get some rest.

- You can stay for a coffee.

- Good idea.

With pleasure.

It's OK.

I told you it was classical here.

- Sugar?

- No, thank you.

It's good to be home.

Does it hurt?

Oh, it's all right.

It's natural, after an operation.

We've kept you up.

You need rest.

I'll go.

I'm taking you fishing next week.

You bet.

Not fishing.

- Not in your state.

- I'll watch him.

I'll be going.

I'll see myself out.

Thanks for everything.

It's wonderful.

I'll come and paint this spot.

Wonderful!

Speak quietly

and don't move about.

- Think he's there?

- I don't think,

I know.

It's like Death.

I had time to think about him.

Same as the carp down there...

somewhere.

You know he's there

but don't see him.

Death's the same.

Silent, with a huge mouth that,

once open,

you fall into unwittingly.

You're dead.

That's all.

I was always making fun of him

at the clinic.

I gave Death a right telling-off.

He went off, bemused.

Not used to folk standing up to him.

But he knows very well

that he always has the last laugh.

There he is.

The old bugger heard me.

Look.

He's nibbling the float.

He's going underneath.

Turn the boat.

Turn the boat.

Turn it, you lump!

- Can I help?

- The landing net.

Put it underneath, gently.

He's ours.

He's ours.

I'll bring him in.

There we are.

Get under him.

There you go.

There.

Go on.

Hell's bells!

How about that, old son!

Wait.

Stay still!

See his eyes?

The way he looks at us.

Just like Death.

Full of nastiness.

Third time I've caught him.

And the last.

Right...

shall we put him back?

Good-bye, old chum.

There.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes