Convoy Page #3

Read it, will you.

All merchantmen

reported to have left for rendezvous,

except Seaflower,

whereabouts unknown.

I knew we'd have trouble

with that damned old pirate.

(Singing)

Don't they sing lovely,

the poor beggars?

Very nice, if you like

that kind of foreign singing.

Now, when I was third officer

in the Mauretania...

I know, I know, you had two symphony

orchestras and a prize brass band.

Let me tell you, Mr Mate,

there's nothing to touch the harmony

of the human voice.

It's all right.

If it weren't for us,

they wouldn't be singing,

they'd be herded together

in some Nazi concentration camp.

Yes, Mr Mathews,

we performed a real work of mercy.

Yeah, twenty quid a head.

That's beside the point.

We saved them.

(Harmonica)

(Man sings)

(All answer)

(Sings)

(All answer)

- (Man sings)

- (All answer)

- (Woman sings)

- (All answer)

(All sing)

Oh blast!

Mary!

Mary, go in there and tell them

to stop that awful row.

Mrs Lucy Armitage, I've nursed you

ever since you wore nappies,

I've put up with all your tantrums,

I've tried to get you

out of all your scrapes,

I've whizzed across the continent

in a motor car with you,

chased by hordes

of murdering Germans,

but now, at last, I'm on me way

to England, in a British ship -

there's nothing on god's earth

will get me out of the safety of me bed.

- (Explosion)

- Oh, what was that?

(Screaming)

Stay here, I'll go and find out.

- What was it, Captain?

- Shot across our bows.

(Speaks German)

Not a light nor a sound, Mr Mate.

Go down and stand by amidships

with a neutral flag.

(Speaks German)

- Can I help? I understand German.

- What's he saying?

He's asking what ship are you

and where are you bound.

Leave him to me.

(Speaks bad Spanish)

That's Spanish,

picked it up in Bilbao.

(Speaks in Spanish

with a heavy English accent)

Neutrale.

Us neutrale.

(Speaks German)

(Speaks German)

Cross your fingers, Captain,

here it comes.

(Speaks German)

Carry on, Neutral,

best wishes for a safe journey.

What did I tell you,

they're gonna let us pass.

Now, where's that damned old fool

of a mate of mine?

Mr Matthews, full speed ahead.

Have they gone, Captain?

Don't you worry, Mr Mate,

why, a child could fool

a pack of squareheads like that.

Captain, I believe you could sail us

through the Kiel Canal itself.

Well, why not?

For the lord's sake, don't suggest

that to him, Mrs Armitage.

Thanks for your help, ma'am.

Please don't mention it. Any time.

- Steer nor'nor'east, helmsman.

- Aye-aye, sir.

Nor'nor'east, that'll never take us

to the convoy.

Now look, Mr Mate, me and t'old

Seaflower are not joining any convoy.

Catch us tacking across North Sea

like a drunken sailor,

with a lot of destroyers and cruisers

chivvying us about.

No, we're going along on our own,

like we've always done.

We're steering nor'nor'east.

Make a signal to our flotilla.

From U37,

the British steamer Seaflower

has been allowed to pass as arranged.

Am following on her course.

(Morse Code)

Message from U37.

Steer a course for the convoy

and follow on her quarter.

Signal to U42.

Very good.

Jolly cold, sir.

Yes, shocking weather for monkeys,

Mr Sutton.

(Laughs)

I think I'll go and get a little sleep.

Your relief will be up in a few minutes.

Very good, sir.

Call me

when they sight the merchantmen.

Aye-aye, sir.

Brought you a nice cup of cocoa, sir,

(Yawns) Take it up on the bridge.

What I want is sleep.

(Whistles) Heave ho, heave ho,

lash up and stow.

Wakey wakey, all the red watch,

all the red watch.

Come on, out of it.

Come on, what is in here?

- Shut up!

- Come on, show a leg, here.

Come on, show a leg here,

get up, out of it, all of you.

Come on, the red watch,

come on, lash up and stow.

Oh, blast!

Got any shaving soap, my lad?

- Thanks.

- That's all right.

What a pretty girl.

- Do you think so?

- Damned attractive.

She's the one I was telling you about.

I was just writing to her,

as a matter of fact.

She's the sort of girl

a fellow can write to.

- Intelligent, eh?

- She's marvellous to talk to.

You're a man of the world,

what do you think about marriage

when a fellow's in the service?

Well, that depends.

How old is she?

Only 25,

and I'm practically 19, you know.

- What does she feel about it?

- She's as keen as I am.

Of course, I'd have to keep it secret

from my family,

but she says that would be all right.

She's an actress and she's got

dozens of men crazy about her.

And she's told you that you're

the only man she cares about, eh?

Yes, she did.

Should be time to think about it,

no use hurrying these things.

Thanks awfully, sir.

That's all right.

One thing, Shorty,

I shouldn't put too much in writing.

- Why, sir?

- Just a sound principle, that's all.

(Wind howling)

It's cold up here.

This ought to warm

the cockles of your heart.

No need for it, man,

I use my imagination.

Here they come.

Bridge.

(Whistle)

- Yes?

- Convoy in sight, sir.

I'll be up right away.

(Yawns)

Your cocoa, sir.

I made another lot.

No time right now, Bates. Later.

Right, Mr Cranford, signal the two

lead destroyers to form up the convoy.

Main line of advance, 260,

speed nine knots.

Signalman.

Form up the convoy.

Huh, he means

sort out this ruddy mess.

They look like the Grand National field,

sir, second time round.

Better see what we can do about it.

Bring her up to 20 knots.

Aye-aye, sir.

Engine room.

(Siren)

Scruffy looking lot, aren't they?

If I had charge of them for a week or

two, I'd make 'em look like real ships.

How would you go about it?

Oh, smarten up the paintwork, sir,

and get all of the ropes coiled

and everything trim and taut,

- and that sort of thing, sir.

- Ah!

This is a convoy, gentlemen,

not a regatta!

Those skippers were master mariners,

when you were toddling about

with your nannies.

(Both) Sorry, sir.

We will consider the incident closed.

Make a signal to all vessels

in the convoy -

zigzag 20 degrees either side of the

mean line of advance every 15 minutes.

- First zig to starboard.

- Aye-aye, sir.

They work too fast for me, skipper. Did

you say a red flag with white stripes,

- or a white flag with red stripes?

- I never said stripes.

I said the whole thing

gives me the gripes!

Well, I can't make head nor tail of it.

Take no notice, Mr Mate, we play

follow my leader and hope for the best.

Ahoy! Are you in trouble

with the signal, skipper?

Can we help you?

Yes, you can! I haven't seen

so many flags since the coronation.

It means to zigzag,

first leg to starboard.

Starboard your wheel.

Thanks, Captain, come aboard

and have a drink with us when we get in.

What's he saying, Mr Cranford?

All ships in position, sir.

There's only one absentee, Seaflower.

Yeah, I thought as much.

I brought breakfast, sir,

your cocoa's getting cold.

All right, Bates, I'll be down in a

minute. Steer 270 degrees, 12 knots.

- Take up position ahead of convoy.

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