Cool Runnings Page #2

and Eskimos and penguins and ice?

- Possibly.

- See you.

Where you going?

I'm going to take a hot bath.

I'm getting cold just thinking

about all this ice.

- No, man! You're going to be

part of my bobsled team!

- What do you need me for?

Who is the best pushcart driver

in all o'Jamaica?

- You're looking at him?

- Then you're going to do it?

No!

Hey, man, you could be famous.

You could have your picture

on a Wheaties box.

But you said "no," and that's

all right, because I don't need you.

Everybody is going to want

to be on my bobsled team!

Look, star, let me tell you

a little something, all right?

When you need something from me, you

don't have to hand me a bunch of lines.

All you have to do is

look at me in the eye and say,

"Sanka, you are my best friend.

We been through a whole heap together

and I really, really need you."

Sanka, you're right.

And you are my best friend.

- And we've been through

a whole lot together.

- Heap. Heap.

Sorry, man.

Whole heap together.

- "And I really, really need you."

- And I really, really need you.

- Forget it.

- But you just said if I said that...

All right.

All right, all right. All right, man.

So, let's talk about

this bill-sled team.

- No, bobsled team.

- Whoever.

Now, about the Wheaties box...

I'm going to be on it by myself, right?

No, man, you're going to

be on it with me.

And down the stretch they come.!

Tumbleweed is holding on...

- As Captain Video makes it

all the way on the outside.

- Yes, Tumbleweed, yes!

- Come on! That's it!

- Brewster is dropping back

as Tumbleweed holds the rail.

- Good Tumbleweed! Good Tumbleweed!

- And here comes Captain Video

on the outside.!

- Tumbleweed is slowing.!

- No, Tumbleweed! No! Bad

Tumbleweed! What are you doing?

- Tumbleweed can't hold it and he

gets pinned against the rail.

- What? Don't do...

- It's anyone's race

as they approach the rail.!

- Don't do that! Let him out!

- Captain Video makes his move.!

Tumbleweed is running gamely...

- No! I need this one!

- But Captain Video seems

just a little bit too strong.!

- Please! Come on!

- Here they come.!

- No!

Yes.! Tumbleweed can't hold it,

as Captain Video takes charge.

And it's Brewster finishing in second,

Susan's Pride finishes third...

and Tumbleweed

is nowhere in sight.!

But, my, oh, my,

the odds-on favorite...

- Showed his true colors

with that late-stretch run.

- That's all right. Uh-huh.

Tumbleweed held on momentarily,

but realistically...

only a fool would put

their money on Tumbleweed.

That horse had no chance of...

That guy won two gold medals?

I think so.

That's Tumbleweed gone.

Okay, next race.

Excuse me. Are you

Mr. Irving Blitzer?

Well, that depends

on who's asking.

My name is Derice Bannock.

This is my teammate Sanka Coffie.

Greetings, sled god.

We were just wondering if you'd

be interested in coaching the

firstJamaican bobsled team.

Derice, remember the radio?

Radio?

Stick. Shooting with the stick.

Let's go!

Let's go, Derice!

Come on, Coach.

Just help me get started!

- Greetings, sled god.

- Sorry to bother you...

- Get out! Get out!

- But you're the only one

that can help us!

- Go away.

- Okay.

Nice to meet you!

- Maybe today is a bad day.

- Yeah.

I'll come back tomorrow, and

the next day, and the next day,

- No. No!

- And the next day.

- Look, whatever you're name is...

- Derice.

All right, Derice, let me lay

out some difficulties for you.

Snow... you don't have any.

It's 900 degrees out there.

Time... you don't have any.

The Olympics

are in three months.

And me... you don't have me.

As far as I'm concerned, the sport

of bobsledding no longer exists.

I don't want to do it,

I don't want to coach it...

and most of all...

and I mean most of all...

I don't want to be within

- Now, did you follow all that?

- Then how come you still have

that poster on the wall?

Is that what's bothering you?

There. Is that better?

Are you happy?

Like I said,

my name is Derice Bannock.

I'm Ben Bannock's son.

I haven't seen this picture

in 20 years.

Huh! Would you look at me then.

- Ooh. Would you look at me now?

- Please, Mr. Blitzer.

Just give me a chance.

If I don't have what it takes,

we forget the whole thing.

- Believe me, kid, you do not

have what it takes.

- But you thought my father did.

Your father was one of

the toughest competitors I ever saw.

He ran the 100 meters

in ten-fat.

Well, I run it in 9.9.

Come on. Coach me.

Sorry. You're a couple

decades late.

Oh, I see. Well, it might be

easy for you...

to walk away from me,

Mr. Blitzer...

but you can't walk away

from this:

Twenty years ago you came down here

to see if you could make...

a Jamaican sprinter

into a bobsledder...

and you never got that chance.

Look at me, Mr. Blitzer.

I'm your chance.

Take it.

All right, everyone quiet down.

Nice group here.

Now, for two of you lucky people,

our trip to the Olympics...

starts right now.

And I want to introduce you...

to Mr. Irving Blitzer...

who's going to be

our expert bobsled coach.

Sanka, hit it, man.

You're on the air, sled god!

- Gentlemen, a bobsled

is a simple thing.

- Yeah! So's a toilet!

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Basically, what you're looking to do

is get your sorry rear ends...

from the top of an icy chute

to the bottom.

You're ziggin',

you're zaggin'.

It's the biggest, coldest roller

coaster you've ever been on.

l-Ice.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I almost forgot, uh...

One minor drawback to this

delightful winter sport...

is the high-speed crash.

That hurt. Aah.

Always remember, your bones

will not break in a bobsled.

No, no. They shatter.

So...

who wants in?

Look, Baldy's here.

- Glad you could make it, man!

- Don't touch me!

No problem. So what's your name?

Yul Brenner.

Well, it's good to have you

as a teammate, Brenner.

Let's get one thing straight,

Bannock.

We may be on the same team...

but I am no one's teammate.

- Long as you come here to bobsled.

- Hey, listen, man...

the only reason why

I come here...

is to get off of this

stinkin' island.

If I have to take one

of those bobsleds to do it...

then all right.

- No problem.

- Uh, yes.

Yes, I have a problem. There's

no such thing as a three-man sled.

- You're oneJamaican short.

- Hey.

The meeting start yet?

- Uh-oh.

- You!

- I'll kill you.

College boy, I'll kill you!

- Wait! Hold on!

- Hey, hey! Lighten up!

Whoa! Whoa! Down, boy!

- Wait a second!

- He didn't mean anything!

He didn't mean it!

- You're dead! You're dead!

Kill him,

and we don't have a team.

- I'm not riding

in the same sled as that.

- He tripped me too, you know.

But in case you haven't noticed,

there's no one else here.

You're crowding me, slinky head.

Slinky head.

That's a good one.

- What are you laughing about?

- Nothing.

If it wasn't for you, rich boy,

I'd be in the Olympics right now.

I don't know what

you all are arguing about...

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