Correcting Christmas Page #5

Oh, wait.

Bet he wears a thong.

You're one to judge,

Mr...

Giorgio Armani.

Al, I wear

nice suits to work.

I don't feel the urge

to match my skinny jeans

to my vintage chambray

shirt with retro timepiece.

I... I don't know what most

of those words mean, so...

We know, Dad.

You know what?

I think I finally understand

why you and Cam

don't get along.

You guys are

so much alike.

If I ever turn into that

guy, somebody smack me

until you get tired

of smacking me,

and then switch hands,

and keep on smacking.

All right, are we

finally all ready to go?

We've been ready for a while now, Mom.

You know,

when you're young,

you could just wash your face

and throw some clothes on.

At my age, it takes a little

more finesse to look this good.

Well, the finesse

is worth the effort.

- You look great, Mom.

- Oh, thank you, honey,

but I didn't get you

the Tesla this year again.

What?

That's it. I'm running away from home.

You think

you're so funny.

Because I am funny.

Mom, ask around.

Oh, and I saw Cam out there.

What's happened to him?

Oh, he got in a fight with

Al, and now he's out there

crying on the phone

to his mommy.

I wonder if she'll fly out

here and burp him for us.

Alison, what did

you do to the boy?

What did I do?

Well, I know

how you get,

and he's very sweet.

Mom, have you

actually met

Al's boyfriend

Cameron?

I'll introduce you

when he's done snivel...

Just finishing up

some business.

Don't we have

a party to get to?

... the hills we go,

laughing all the way

Bells on bobtails ring

Making spirits bright

What fun it is

to ride and sing

A sleighing song tonight

Jingle bells,

jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Jingle bells,

jingle bells

Jingle all the way...

Oh, I see the Laemmles.

Oh, yeah.

And I see the bar.

Dad, how 'bout I buy

the first round?

Well, music to my

ears, sir. Lead the way.

We need to talk.

Let's just

get through this here,

and we'll talk about it

back home later.

Just promise me that

I'm not gonna have to hang out

with your buddy Nick

all night.

Well,

that might be tough,

because my family

sits with his, too,

always have.

Wonderful.

I'm gonna go

get a drink.

See the blazing Yule

before us...

Two thirsty gentlemen,

apparently have

some catching up to do.

Cameron, can my son

buy you a drink, sir?

Excuse me?

Clearly my father's

generosity

exceeds

his judgment.

While I tell

of Yuletide treasure

Fa la la, la la,

la la, la la

If I were Cam, I would not

leave my girlfriend alone

at a party

full of eligible bachelors.

Oh, eligible bachelors,

you say.

If you can find

another man here,

besides you,

who is under 50,

single,

and not twice divorced,

I'll give you

a hundred bucks.

Hey, being over 50

and divorced a couple times

is not gonna stop them

hitting on you.

Many still have enough money

to give 50% of their stuff

to a third future ex-wife.

Oh, gosh, you make it

sound so romantic.

Hi. I'm Samantha.

I'll be your bartender.

I'm Jason. I'll be

your designated drinker.

- Ah, good one.

- Thanks.

And Mom thinks

I'm not funny.

Hmm, imagine that.

Heh heh.

Actually, I was

just being polite.

I get that

designated drinker line

about three times

a shift.

You got me.

I'm a hack.

So you want to just

get out of here?

You're cute.

When you can steal a sec,

I'll have a elderflower martini, please.

Ha! Not here, you won't.

Okay.

Uh, how 'bout

something local then,

shot and a beer.

You got it, Harvard.

Cameron,

so nice of you

to climb off

your high horse

to join us simple folk down here.

Tell me something, Jason.

What is it that is bothering

you so much about me?

What, do you want a list,

telegraph, PowerPoint presentation?

I want to take you

for a little walk,

just you and me.

How 'bout that?

Boys, don't make me

come over there.

I see Cam is finally bonding

with the Pennebaker men.

You don't hate Cam,

do you?

I don't hate anyone, Al.

- I don't want to date him.

- Well, that's not what I meant.

Or hang out with him

or really talk to him

- ever again.

- Okay, question withdrawn.

Well, what about you?

Last time

I talked to my parents,

they said you were

dating a yoga instructor.

Pilates. Um, no,

we broke up

around Halloween.

Well, any eligible

bachelorettes here tonight?

I'm actually hiding

from my parents,

who are desperate to introduce me

to Lila, the local veterinarian.

Ooh, family fix-ups.

I'm sure Lila's fine,

but I'm at the point

where I want there

to be the possibility

of it going somewhere,

and I want it to be

undeniable on both sides.

Yeah, but even still,

how can you be sure?

I don't know,

but suddenly

I don't want to waste

any more time.

I know that seems weird

to someone like you.

Don't be so sure.

I'm rehabbing this old house at

the edge of the old neighborhood,

big backyard and a basketball

hoop in the driveway,

and it just hit me.

I'm ready for the person

who's ready for that.

That sounds nice,

Nick, truly.

Al, where do you find

these guys?

Cam just ordered a elderflower

martini, elderflower.

Yeah, but have you ever

had an elderflower martini?

I'm sorry. I'm still

reeling from someone

who's more pretentious

about alcohol than myself.

It's good

to see you, Jase.

Good to see you, too.

This place looks amazing.

This is great.

Thank you. I charged them

plenty for it, trust me.

Oh, and we're still doing

our same deal, right?

Everything

is split 50/50?

Hey, send me an invoice.

Just don't hold your breath.

Ha ha.

I see a party foul.

Those hands are empty,

Let's fill 'em up

with some drinks.

Right this way, sir.

You heard the man.

Have fun.

It's Christmas.

What can I say?

Pardon me.

May I have this dance?

Oh, what a nice offer.

- Oh, yes. Whoops!

- Why don't you spin?

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm gonna

take you this way.

Now if I could only romance your

daughter the way that I can you.

I know.

I feel like I'm

pretty charming.

You are charming,

I think.

I didn't mean

to ruin your night.

I know how much you

love Christmas Eve.

I don't care

that it's Christmas Eve.

I just don't like it

when we fight.

Everybody fights

sometimes, Ali.

You know, in 30 years,

I've never seen

my parents fight once.

Yeah, well,

they fight, all right,

They were just going at it

this morning about how your mom

wants to turn the den into a

professional pottery studio.

What, Mom does pottery?

Not yet, but if she

had the studio...

I'm sorry that

I overreacted, Ali.

There's nothing

between me and Nick.

I know.

You're my present

and, I hope, my future.

I don't know what

it is about that guy.

Just I see the two

of you together,

and it just bugs me.

And I know I shouldn't

feel insecure or threatened

by the bricklayer

who wants 3.2 kids

and a tacky aboveground

pool in his backyard.

Basketball hoop.

I know you're not interested

in changing diapers

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