Cosmos

"I'm scared of the forests.

"In the midway of this mortal life,

I found me in a gloomy wood,

"astray. Gone from the path:

"and even to tell,

That forest, how robust its growth,

"Which to remember only, my dismay.

"Renews, in bitterness

not far from death...

All else will I relate

discovered there."

- Don't go there. I've checked.

- And?

A joke. Fine if the hotels are pricey,

but this one, not even by the seafront.

But I called, I don't get it.

- Try this one?

- Since we're here already.

Bom dia!

We come'sh for the room'sh.

Auntie! Two gentlemen to have a look.

- Are you French?

- Yes, like my aunt.

How charming!

absolutely, one room for two

or two rooms full board,

as one of our guests has just left.

How long will you stay?

- A week?

- I flunked an exam, I need to resit.

- You're a student?

- Law. Third year.

- Oh, studies...

- One has to cram, Madame.

So here you have a bathroom.

And here's one of the rooms.

What are you doing here, sweetie?

May I introduce my daughter, Lena...

It's breakfast in bed,

and dinner downstairs.

It's a family business,

we want to keep a certain atmosphere.

Catherette will make the beds,

and give it a go with the...

If it's all right with you.

- Absolutely. Madame...

- Same with me.

- And your luggage?

- In the car.

- As for the price...

- We are two so we should take both.

This is a family business,

gentlemen, so er...

Needn't worry, Madame.

Oh, the things I've seen...

I passed a car park,

I'll see to the car and get my stuff.

I'd like to take a walk in the forest.

Is there a way through the back?

Certainly, Sir.

The gate is straight ahead,

through the garden.

I've put some towels in the bathroom.

Sh*t, it's going to rain.

There was a bird, hanged.

- Hanged, how?

- From blue string. From a cable.

What a hassle to park.

What kind of bird?

A sparrow, I think.

Silk and alpaca. Expensive.

Just kids. A prank...

It's too weird for a kid.

- Bizarre.

- I would say even more...

Bizarre.

How pretty.

Tolstoy wrote that our biggest mistake

is to confuse the pretty with the good.

Times are modern, aren't they?

- So you want to say I'm old-fashioned?

- A bit.

"Modern Times", a review by Sartre.

- Who, who?

- Jean-Paul, a mistaken cross-eye.

- An acquaintance of yours?

- Like Tolstoy.

"Modern Times", isn't it a Chaplin film?

- Isn't she pretty?

- Too pretty. Bourgeoisie, our parents...

- What do your parents do?

- Dad's a judge.

- And your mum?

- Housewife.

A cold house.

- This Tolstu who...

- Tolstoy!

Yes, the guy who writes... who's he?

A writer. Russian.

Friend of yours?

I'm from Paris. A rag trade slave.

The hanged sparrow, Catherette's lip.

- You know Ralph and Lang?

- Not really.

- What's your plan now?

- To think.

General Criminal Law.

Dinner is served.

Where?

Downstairs.

Don't fret. It always ends the same way.

Well... me, you will notice...

Now I'm just a spare part in

the hands of my better half.

The dripping tap, undercoat of paint,

fallen leaves to rake...

Master Lucien, my stepson,

if I may say-um.

Married to Lena,

who is the daughter of my spouse.

Fruit of her first marital bliss,

my charming dumpling.

Oh sorry, my love...

You don't find a hanged sparrow weird?

Indeed.

Just last weekend I noticed a chicken

hanged near the house.

Lucien is a young architect.

Laughable, these sparrows dangling,

chickens hanging.

Like killing two birds with one stone.

Well, imagining...

- A sadist?

- A bad man out of work.

Yes, a bad man.

- Must you contradict me?

- I'm saying bad.

- These are bad guys!

- The out of work at work.

You don't even know what you're saying!

Lena, my own Juliette,

can you pass the radishing wine-um

to your stepfather?

I recommend the radishes

with this yoghurt, totally unique.

My wife is a specialist

in home-made dairy.

The key is in the way it ferments.

The taste...

I hope it will be milder tonight.

It's the after season.

The weather has turned cold.

Mind if I turn up the TV?

The fashion show is about to start.

What are you fussing about now?

Don't you hear daddy radishing away?

At least they're ballsy, Ralph and Lang.

At first things were sweet between us.

Then I started pissing them off.

Now I just piss them off.

All day, they steer clear of me.

All it takes is for me to cough...

Around them is a huge bird cage.

Babbling, gossiping, chirping.

And me, I'm the rash. Hatred.

Me, it's my parents who hate me.

At least my father, for my failure.

- And your mum?

- Silent.

I hate law.

I even tried writing a novel.

- A thriller.

- Why a thriller?

Easier to read.

It was to be called "The Haunted".

- "The Daunted"?

- It wasn't published.

Well I shut down my computer.

Oh really?

I switched off my phone.

That way they'll see...

What it's like without me.

Three weeks without me,

the menswear collection...

Models, menus, flowers...

Have you seen Master Lucien?

Handsome guy, huh?

- Have you seen his hands?

- Yeah.

Why hang it?

Who hanged it?

The Big Dipper...

The Little Dipper...

Libra...

The Moon...

I don't know.

I'm scared of the night.

Fuchs?

Did I hurt you?

How strange

that a thing is before, another behind?

I am absurd.

We'll have a lovely day today.

One must make the most of it

when on holiday.

Monsieur Lucien and Lena

have already left.

Oh, thanks.

Monsieur Lucien is doing up

a charming house for them.

Very rustic.

It's dragging on a bit, but great.

Monsieur Lucien is having a hard time.

Miss Lena dreamed of acting,

but now she teaches.

They make a sweet couple, eh?

Married for two months and still...

In love...

They stayed in their room all day.

It was like their...

Nuptial suite.

Right.

Mind you, now it's settling down a bit.

With time...

With time passing.

Oh love.

Good thing it's not for me.

What did she mean by "good thing"?

Where were you last night?

Monsieur was on watch?

It's not your business.

If you come back with a disease...

I play safe.

The senses,

even when they make no sense...

We'll go see your sparrow.

- Catherette...

- What?

When one has a mouth like hers...

Manipulated, I could say.

He, to himself, for his own.

He, to himself, for his own!

It was here?

Well, yeah.

The string?

What about going to the beach?

- I'll skip my homework.

- My pleasure.

Wait.

- Don't tell me...

- Ralph and Lang.

- Borrowed?

- More or less.

Like your chic suit?

You're the errand boy, right?

- I came here in retaliation.

- Same with me.

This pretty girl, the posh one?

She dumped me

for an idiot from Grenoble.

They always dump us for idiots.

"The Daunted."

The title.

"The Haunted."

"The F***-ted", right!

You never told me what it was about.

- A love story.

- Like yours?

The opposite.

Him and her,

like an apple split in half.

Incest?

He was her tennis coach.

So she was the posh girl?

Except the horror

came from a towel hanging.

- Hanging where?

- A locked room.

- And?

- The towel is moving.

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