Country Strong Page #4

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We'll make it up

to you next week.

She better put on

a real pretty face.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Sh*t. Come on, man.

You know

we're all fools

in this business.

(SEA OF HEARTBREAK PLAYING)

What are you looking at?

(SIGHS)

No one's ever going

to buy food poisoning.

She's a total basket case.

Why don't you be quiet

and tell me what

you're looking at?

Don't.

"When did General MacArthur

return to the Philippines?"

1 946.

"What does 'amorous' mean?"

Having a propensity

for falling in love.

What the hell

are these things?

Well, as a woman

in this industry,

people have a habit

of thinking I'm some

kind of ignoramus.

And my pageant training

doesn't exactly

help things,

so I have to

overcompensate.

You're not the only one

who thinks I'm just

some dumb beauty queen.

I'd never call you

a dumb beauty queen.

Give me those.

I'm serious.

Anybody that says

"ignoramus" so casually,

that's not dumb at all.

(GROANS)

Why don't y'all

just sleep together?

Get it over with.

Jesus. Really.

KELLY:
I feeI great.

I feel better than I have

in a long time,

aside from the food

poisoning incident.

Note to self:

never trust a sushi bar

that's open 24 hours a day.

(ALL LAUGHING)

But all that's behind me now.

And I just want to say,

I'm really looking forward to

playing for my fans

here in Austin.

What about Dallas?

Dallas?

Yeah, your last date

will be broadcast

in Dallas, correct?

Yes.

We all know that

Dallas and I have a history,

and it's not such a good one.

So I'm really looking forward

to changing that.

Thank you.

FEMALE REPORTER:
Kelly!

Kelly! Kelly!

Is this on? Ooh!

I guess so. I'm sorry.

My parents are

school teachers.

I'm not used to running

in such fancy circles.

Chiles!

Chiles!

Yes?

Chiles, who is your idol?

I'm on tour

with her right now.

And Jesus Christ, of course.

Kelly Canter

and Jesus Christ.

(ALL LAUGHING)

You and Jesus Christ.

Who would have thought?

They love her.

BEAU:
Yeah, I guess.

What do you think of her?

I don't.

You're not

a very good liar, Beau.

Hey, are we still

going to hang out today, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah?

So, what do you

suppose we do?

Steal a car,

do some skinny-dipping,

shave our heads?

Hey, come on.

Let's get out of here

and have some fun.

Come on.

Okay.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

(KELLY AND BEAU WHOOPING)

Well, what do you think?

I think I'm Kelly Canter

and I'm breaking the law!

(BOTH WHOOPING)

Give me more!

Yeah ! Come on !

Get it out there!

Give me more!

Yeah ! I got six Grammys

and seven platinum records!

(WHOOPING)

And everybody knows

who I am !

And? Come on, what else?

And I have

the best damn marriage

in the world of country music!

(INAUDIBLE)

(CHILES SINGING

WORDS I COULDN'T SAY)

BOB:
Yeah,

she's good, James.

Let's talk about

the Freedom Tour.

She might be

a good addition.

JAMES:
You better hurry.

How about this week?

All right.

Look, I was sorry

to hear about Kelly.

We were all praying for her.

Thank you, Bob,

but she's doing just fine.

She's looking forward

to the next show.

She also loves

the tracks

you sent over.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Especially

Coming Home.

She thinks that could be

her next single.

Hmm.

She'd sing the hell

out of it, Bob.

The little girl

right there is the one

to sing that song.

I'll talk to you later.

What?

Maybe we should stop this.

You're married,

Kelly, you know?

Well, I've always

been married.

Yeah, but just after today,

I've been thinking that

maybe I'm just not

the best thing

for you in your life.

I want to be, but. . .

I'm just

trying to do

what's best for you.

Since when?

(SIGHS)

I think the world

of you, Beau.

But sometimes you don't have

the faintest idea of

how to talk to women.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hey.

Do you want to hang out?

No, not really.

All right.

I just wanted to show you

my lyrics. That's all.

Where have you been?

I was with Beau.

Why do you have a towel on?

We were out

and I got so dirty

I needed to take a shower.

Well, that sounds like fun.

It was.

Can I help you

do that?

Nope, I got it.

Are you going to

let me in or what?

Do you write

all your own lyrics?

What is this,

Twenty Questions?

How come you haven't got

the chorus wrote down yet?

Because I haven't

come up with it yet.

I could write it for you.

This ain't

Mad Libs, Chiles.

You can't just

fill in a blank with

a noun America loves.

Well, I could write

good lyrics

if I wanted to.

Maybe I just

haven't been inspired

by anyone yet.

You ever think

about that?

I don't need to be

singing about

my Achy Breaky Heart.

Give In To Me?

That's what it's called?

I like that title.

Good. Then don't mess it up.

Oh, my God !

The Miss America

Pageant's on.

Oh, I'm just dying for

Miss Oklahoma to win.

She's got the best figure,

and she does

the prettiest ribbon routine.

I think I need a drink.

Do you want one?

Just a tiny one.

How would I

change the world

if I won this crown?

(LAUGHING)

I would start by

putting country music

on all US outbound flights.

Then I'd change

the national anthem

to Merle Haggard's

Mama Tried.

This is how you win

a beauty pageant.

Oh, let's see.

(CHILES CLEARING THROAT)

"Thank you,

ladies and gentlemen,

distinguished judges."

That's such bullshit.

(CHILES LAUGHING)

And then I give them

one of my seven smiles.

Yeah, let's see them.

Well, I got swimsuit.

And then interview.

I like that one.

I got my formal wear.

Which one's your

drunk-off-my-ass smile?

I think you're drunk.

You know,

I think we should have

a swimsuit competition.

I don't have a swimsuit.

Well, you're wearing

a bra and panties,

aren't you?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's the same thing.

Yeah, I'm doing it.

Here we go.

You versus me.

Beau, what are you doing?

Don't be a chickenshit

about this, Chiles.

I've seen plenty of ladies

in their swimsuits before.

I'll get into mine

just so we're even.

Your turn.

All right.

But no pictures.

I may go on to be

Miss America one day.

So, what do we do now?

Build a sandcastle

or something?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, my God.

That must be James.

What the hell's he

doing here?

Put your pants on.

Well, it's not like

you have to answer it

or anything.

You know I do.

Put your pants on. Hurry.

Hi, James.

Hey.

I was just showing Beau

my pageant walk.

And he was leaving.

Right, Beau?

You were just leaving?

Yeah.

Well, that's something

I'd like to see.

Is that guyliner?

(CHUCKLES)

That's real cute, Beau.

The Statesman's

calling you the next

Carrie Underwood.

Really?

Yes.

You're on their

"Top Ten Country

Artists to Watch" list.

Was Beau on the list?

Yes.

"The next Townes Van Zandt."

Who's that?

He was a singer-songwriter.

Was he famous?

In some circles,

but not nearly as famous

as Carrie Underwood.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

How did you know?

How did you know

I had it in me?

I just took one look

at you, darling. I mean,

you might as well be

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