Courageous Page #5

discover a comfort

and an intimacy with God

that most people

never experience.

I...

I wanna trust him.

I just don't understand

what he's doing.

Well, he doesn't promise

an explanation.

But he does promise to walk

with us through the pain.

And the hard choice for you

is whether you're gonna be angry

for the time you didn't have with her,

or grateful for the time

that you did have.

I don't wanna be angry.

I wanna heal.

How would you like for me

to help you?

I wanna know what God expects

of me as a father.

And I wanna know

how to help my wife and my son.

Okay.

You'd think you were going

for a doctorate.

I feel like it.

Where's Dylan?

Oh, he's getting a shower.

Ran another five miles.

Says he already needs

new running shoes.

I'm gonna go to the store, okay?

All right.

I don't think I could run five miles.

Well, who says you have to?

I've been thinking

about running with him.

Really?

I'm accepting the fact I have to learn

how to do the hard things.

I've never enjoyed running, but it is

the best way to spend time with him.

Well, how is your research coming?

Sobering.

I've been doing about half of what

I should've been doing as a dad.

And there is so much in scripture

about being a father.

I never took time to look it up.

It's the sheriff.

Hello, sir.

Yes, sir.

We did.

We turned that in yesterday.

Adam. Adam, bye.

Love you.

Thank you, sir. We will.

Love you. Bye.

Okay.

Hello?

Sir?

Adam!

Hey.

Got a lot of homework?

Not really.

Got your learner's permit?

Why?

I need you to drive me to the mall,

get you some new running shoes.

If you don't mind,

I might get a pair for myself.

Are you serious?

Oh, ho, ho.

Hey, Javi, glad you could come.

Oh, thanks for the invitation.

I've never been in the back

of a police car before.

How's my other Javier friend?

You liking the new job?

Yes, very much.

Thanks to Adam.

SO to 6-93C.

Six-93-C. Go ahead.

Deputies need assistance

in reference to a 10-95

at the intersection

of Plantation and Foxfire.

Six-93-C en route.

It's gonna be gang-related.

Yeah.

Javi, we'll get to lunch

right after we do this.

If I tell you to get down, you stay low.

Okay.

What kind of gang is this?

They're all jail prep programs,

if you ask me.

And they're all dangerous.

You know,

I started a gang once.

You were in a gang?

We were the Snake Kings. Heh, heh.

Snake Kings?

Yes.

We had snakes

in our neighborhood

so we would throw rocks

and try to kill them.

- Ha, ha, ha.

- Okay.

So how many were in your gang?

Only three. My brothers and I.

So did you kill any snakes?

One.

Ha, ha, ha.

We thought we were heroes.

Ha, ha, ha.

All right. Javi, you just hang out

right here, all right?

Sure.

- What do you got?

- We got three.

Possession with intent to

distribute, possession, possession.

He's a little belligerent.

I need you to go 10-95 to the jail

with one of them for me.

I need to separate them.

Can you swing it?

We can do that.

All right. Appreciate it.

Not with Javi

in the back.

Wait here. I got an idea.

- Javi, I need a favor.

- What's that?

You heard of the Snake Kings?

The who?

Snake Kings.

You ever crossed them?

I ain't heard of no Snake Kings.

We got their leader.

If he tries to cut you,

you yell, we'll stop the car.

I ain't getting in the back

with no killer.

Stay on your side. Don't look at him,

don't talk to him, you'll be fine.

Martinez, you hurt this guy, I'll

put you under the jail, you got it?

Don't touch him.

All right, get in.

I don't wanna be in the car

with no Snake King.

Hey, they got a lot of room up there.

Get in the car.

Stay on your side.

We will protect you.

You're nuts.

Roll with it.

This goes south, all you.

All you.

All right.

Heh.

Dispatch, this is 6-93-C.

We're 10-95 en route to the jail.

10 to 12 minutes.

We are going to lunch.

I am getting a chicken sandwich.

And a lemonade.

Hey, man.

Hey, what's he saying, man?

Hey, man, just don't talk to him.

You stay on your side.

I may even get...

some waffle fries.

And a milkshake!

Hey, man, he's threatening me.

- I think he wants to kill me.

- Just calm down.

If he wanted to kill you,

you'd be dead by now.

Hey, he's free! Hey, he's free!

- Hey, stop the car! Stop the car! Stop!

- Snake King!

- Hey, stop the car!

- Stop the car!

He's trying to kill me! Stop the car!

Let me out! Hey, help!

- Stop the car! Stop the car!

- Heh, heh. Snake King.

Oh, it was the funniest

thing I've ever seen.

Oh, my.

Oh, man.

I've never seen somebody

so anxious to get to jail.

Oh, he is so crazy.

The guys like him.

We've kind of adopted him

into our group.

I mean, I still can't believe Carmen

brought us three meals after the funeral.

I mean, that was so sweet.

Mm.

I had a good day today.

You all right, buddy?

We're gonna be okay,

aren't we?

We're gonna be all right.

I wish I would've been

a better brother.

It's all right.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Hey, I love you, buddy.

You are my son.

And I'm proud of you.

Don't you ever forget that, okay?

Don't you ever forget that.

It's okay. It's okay.

All right. If everybody's stuffed,

I'm gonna tell you why I had you come.

It isn't because

you just can't get enough of us?

Sorry, no.

I'm gonna ask you a favor.

Javi.

Resolution?

Yeah.

For a while now, I've been struggling

with what kind of dad I was to Emily.

What kind of father I'm being to Dylan.

You're being too hard on yourself.

You've been a good-enough father.

That's just it.

I don't wanna be

a "good-enough" father.

We have a few short years

to influence our kids.

Whatever patterns we set for them

will be used for their kids

and the generation after that.

We have the responsibility

to mold a life.

I don't think

that should be done casually.

Half the fathers in this country

are failing.

- I don't wanna be one of them.

- Okay.

I'm all for spending time

with our kids,

but don't you think

you're taking this too far?

It goes way beyond

spending time with your kids.

That should be a given.

I'm talking about setting the standards

that they need to aim for in life.

What kind of standards?

Well, when did you first

think of yourself as a man?

What?

- Heh.

- No, no, no.

I mean, when did you first think,

"I'm a man now"?

Ha, ha. Come on, you can't be

serious. We are not talking about this.

No, just humor me for a second.

Think about it.

Maybe when I moved out.

Or when I turned 21.

I don't know.

- When you were legal?

- Yeah.

What about you, Shane?

I don't know.

I mean, when I got my license.

Or my first job.

I mean, what does it matter?

Javi?

When my father told me I was.

When I was 17, he had to leave

for three months to do a job.

He told me that

he thought of me as a man.

He wanted me

to take care of the family.

I'm learning that God wants me

to call out the man in my son.

I can't do that lightly.

I can't be passive about that.

I got these things

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