Cover Page #3

- Amen! Amen! - And I give

God all the glory and all the praise.

Amen!

I am Mrs. Persons.

I would like to welcome you.

Tell me.

What does your husband do?

- He's a psychiatrist.

- I might need him.

Praise the Lord.

Now, the topic

for this evening, ladies...

is how to-within our faith- deal with

spousal cheating in a constructive way.

Yes, Miss Gladys.

My husband cheated on me one time

with some filthy Jezebel.

- I snatched that heifer bald.

- Mm-hmm!

Her dog tried to bite me.

I snatched the dog bald too.

- Amen!

- Let's remember two things, ladies.

Let's find constructive responses,

and let's keep God in this.

- Amen.

- Yes, Miss Honeycomb?

- I kept God in it- sent my husband to meet him.

- Amen.

He cheated on me, so I went down

to Miss Dashon down in Chinatown...

got some of that

strong dust pepper...

mixed it in his mashed potatoes.

- He was null and void.

- Null and void.

His head could not lift

from the pillow.

He didn't know what happened to him.

But after that, he ain't cheat on me no more.

- Amen to that.

- Constructive responses, Miss Honeycomb.

- May I help you?

- Excuse me. Sorry I'm late.

I'm sorry.

The men's meeting is Thursday.

I told you this was a bad idea.

- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come.

- Greg, wait.

Mrs. Dunn, I'm sorry.

Greg's my guest.

He didn't want to come, but I insisted.I told

him that he would be more than welcome.

- We beg your pardon.

- Yes, he-

- That's a group decision.

- Sure is.

I know, but Greg has something

that he needs to discuss...

that can't wait until Thursday.

His significant other just left him.

- Significant other?

- Boyfriend.

- Oh, help us, Jesus.

- If my presence offends anybody, I'll go.

Nobody said anything

about being offended.

- This is supposed to be a women's meetin'.

- Sure is.

- Tolerance, ladies.

- Compassion.

Let's remember.

We are all children of God, including Greg.

Now, Greg, the question is,

would you feel comfortable here?

- Feels just like my family.

- Welcome, Greg. Ladies.

- Welcome, Greg.

- Welcome, darlin'.

- Welcome.

- Huh!

So, Greg, would you care to share with us?

Take your time.

The thing that hurts the most-

is the betrayal.

We got engaged a year ago...

and all that time, he was cheating on me...

with another man- a younger man.

And I never saw it.

I still love him.

Oh, help us, Jesus.

What is this church

comin' to, Mrs. Dunn?

Now, if you can't

share with the group- Ladies.

I'm sorry, Greg.

May God bless you, son.

My son, uh, Randy-

He just came out of the closet.

- Do you know him?

- Good Lord! It's spreadin' all over the church.

We came here this evening

to talk about infidelity.

Can we please stick to that topic?

Charlotte, it's your turn.

Do you have anything to say?

- Hmm!

- May we bow our heads in a word of prayer.

- Heavenly Father, we come before you-

- Mm-mmm.

I'm gonna make you

an offer, Mrs. Mass.

Now, I am willing

to recommend clemency.

Lethal injection is not

the only way to go here.

A confession made

in the spirit of remorse...

is very persuasive with a jury...

and with

the district attorney's office.

Thirty-first floor.

Mrs. Mass.

- Hey.

- What was that about?

I don't know what it is with Monica.

She trippin' all the time.

- Did you ever date Monica?

- Hmm?

I didn't stutter.

Did you date Monica?

A long time ago.

Nothin' special.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

We had an agreement.

And suddenly you can't deal? Huh?

- Suddenly? Suddenly, Kevin?

- Suddenly, you-

I didn't change, okay?

Monica, I didn't change.

- I've changed.

- Then you need to change back.

Okay? We have a perfect life.

We have money. We have freedom.

And now you are miserable.

You are hysterical.

But, Kevin...

I want kids.

I want a normal life.

I want a family.

I want a husband who wants me.

I want you.

I love you. I love you.

You know I do, but this...

normal thing, I just-

I'm tired.

You're tired?

- I'm so tired.

- You're gonna have to stick to the agreement.

It just seems like-

- I...

- You're always a victim.

Everything just revolves around you, right?

Keys. I'll drive.

Get out of the car.

Give me the keys.

Monica?

I'm gonna drive. Just-

I'll drive.

Baby? Co-Come on and get in the car.

Monica?

Hey! Stop!

God, no!

The ambulance stopped just in time.

She tried to kill herself, man.

Look, she's got a lot

of narcotics in her system.

You know that conference that she attended?

She was in treatment.

I realized tonight

how selfish I've been-

not just to her, also to you.

Hey, I got some good news.

The, uh, grant came through

at the hospital.

- They're gonna give you a raise.

- Oh, thank God.

And I'm gonna give you something that

you deserve but you can't afford just yet.

I've got a piece of property

up in Chestnut Hill.

Very upscale, nice schools.

Big house.

You know, financially,

I can't even think about-

Don't worry. I'm gonna cover

the down payment.

You're gonna take care

of the monthly nut.

Just consider it a...

long-term lease.

Kevin, you don't have to do this.

You've done so much for me,

and you've done so much for Monica.

- Without your counseling, I...

- Hey.

You and I go back a long way, right?

Hey, Dutch.

Don't give up the dream.

- I got a surprise for you.

- What? What is it?

Now, if I tell you,

it's not a surprise.

How about givin' me a hint?

Now, let's just say some

of our dreams are about to come true.

- I want a hot dog.

- Oh, yeah?

- I'll go get the hot dog.

- Oh, I'll have a 20. - No.

- Why don't you just give me our wallet?

- Yeah, you got that right.

- Have fun.

- You're it!

I felt like we were movin'

in the right direction.

As my dearly departed mama used to say...

"You wanna make God laugh?

Tell him your plans."

My feet are too quick.

- Did you confront him?

- No.

You found a condom

in your husband's wallet, and you didn't-

- She said no.

- He's a doctor.

Sometimes he-he lectures

patients on safe sex.

He-He- He passes out condoms.

What do you think?

- She didn't wanna know.

- Mmm.

- Everything changed after that.

- Uh-huh.

Me, I wouldn't trust him

as far as I could throw him.

I'm just bein' real, Val.

I smell a rat.

You should have him followed.

I know this real good private detective-

same one I used on my ex.

Now, Zahara, you know that Dutch

is not that kind of a person.

What's the name of that heifer

had herself a breakdown- Monica?

That was a straight-up play

for sympathy.

I saw that crap from a mile away.

- It was a nervous breakdown.

- Breakdown, "snakedown."

Heifer'd do anything

for a little attention.

I knew this girl, stuck her hand

down a garbage disposal-

halfway cut her fingers off,

cried for two weeks.

Her husband bought her

a new house and a car.

I been thinkin' about

cuttin' my fingers off.

I just cannot get that condom

out of my head.

- Lord, why did I find it?

- You trippin'. You lucky you did.

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