Cradle 2 the Grave Page #6

[FIRE ENGINE SIREN WAILING]

Guess we both got what we wanted.

So, what happens to the stones now?

They'll be destroyed.

Guess l'll be spending some time in jail.

Jail?

Come on, man. He just saved the planet,

man. Can't he at least get probation?

I'll do what I can.

- Thanks.

ARCHIE:
Great.

Because we make a hell of a team,

am I right? Except for you.

You're law enforcement.

But we gotta stick together.

And a white guy comes in handy.

You wanna rip off a country club,

or somebody needs to hail a cab. Right?

- So, what percentage are we talking?

- None.

That low, huh?

It's about time l got my sh*t together.

- About time we all did.

- I'm with you, T.

Come on, buddy, it's just getting fun.

Well, I mean, you know,

it's not that fun...

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

Faith.

So you guys are all just gonna

up and go straight?

Yeah. You ought to try it yourself, man.

I could do it. I've had straight jobs.

Have you?

- I've had plenty of straight jobs.

- Really? Name one.

I sold Avon.

- You were an Avon lady?

- I was an Avon man. All right?

- You got a problem with that?

- No, it's fair.

- Why you looking at me like that?

- lt's okay.

TOMMY:

All right. All right.

I'm just f***ing with you. But my mama

sold Avon. Don't be disrespecting her.

- I know her. Remember the party?

- She whipped your ass.

No, she sucker-punched me.

That ain't the first time you

been sucker-punched by a big woman.

You know, I think

I got kind of a fetish.

Did you just say my mama had a fat ass?

No, I said l have a kind

of a fetish for big women.

- Oh. But she do got a fat ass though.

- Yeah, she does have a fat ass.

You can see it when she's sitting

on your head.

I've seen it. L had to rub that ass

naked when I was a teenager.

You know, you look a lot like her.

Except her hair is different.

Yeah. L shave my beard,

she keeps hers growing.

- Yeah. You know what?

- What?

I'm gonna write a movie about the sh*t

we got through. L've been taking notes.

It's gonna make a lot of money.

I'm calling it Sidekicks.

We're the real stars of this.

We shot down the damn helicopter.

- Who's playing you?

- I've been thinking about that.

I thought Arnold Schwarzenegger,

then l saw him at the gas station...

- Midget.

- He's like 5'6".

- Midget.

- Got a terrible lisp.

So I'll go with Mel Gibson.

We have similar features.

Right. I see the forehead.

- Yeah. And you? Guess.

- Denzel!

Denzel!

- You noticed l've been cutting it down.

- And he's been beefing up.

- I try to get down to Denzel's weight.

- Know who'll be your girlfriend? Oprah.

- Big Oprah or little Oprah?

- Medium Oprah.

That's the one I like.

The eyes are straight.

- This is about reality.

- Right. Realism.

- Yeah. So you know who's my girlfriend?

- Who?

Halle Berry. And let me tell you why.

It'll add a whole different element.

This is an interracial couple.

She's never done that before.

- Uh-huh.

- Also, Fait.

I've been thinking about

that a lot. L'll go with Shaquille O'Neal.

The most dominating player ever

in the NBA. You saw Kazaam.

- Right

- lt wasn't the right material.

He's gonna kill with this stuff.

And Su, l've been thinking about him.

- Remember the movie Sixteen Candles?

- Yeah.

- Who am l thinking about?

- Molly Ringwald?

- No, the Donger!

- Oh! Okay!

How funny was that guy?

What happened to him?

- He waiting tables someplace.

- He was funny!

- Yeah, he was. Hey, Daria.

- Daria? Who you got?

- Winona Ryder.

- Yeah, she's good. She'd be good.

- Yeah, she's good.

- She'd play a thief.

She'd play a thief. She a good actress.

The whole elbow thing.

Remember when she's going to court

and hit the one elbow, broke that elbow.

- Electricity went through her body.

- She's a ventriloquist with the elbows.

Now who do we get to direct this thing?

You know what?

We should get the dude that directed

Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds.

- The director, the Pole, Polack.

- The Polack?

Yeah, we'll get him in there.

Exit Wounds, did you see that?

- I saw that.

- The best part...

- The end.

- The very end.

- Over the credits. The rest sucked.

- Can't have the movie without the end.

- There's no movie.

- Whatever happened with those guys?

I heard they're gay.

Yeah, of course. Hollywood.

[English - US - SDH]

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes