Crank: High Voltage

In a story so bizarre I can scarcely

believe the event I'm reporting,

and yet corroborated by at least

a dozen eyewitnesses,

a white male apparently fell from

the sky above downtown Los Angeles today,

landed in the middle of a busy

intersection, destroying one vehicle

and hospitalizing its elderly driver,

and then was removed from the scene

before emergency personnel could respond.

Without a body, the police have yet to

piece together the events of a day

that can only be described

as...implausible.

Reports of a second body landing

in the Boyle Heights area have yet

to be confirmed and are being treated as

the bullshit they most likely are.

Ooooooh.

Ahhh.

You big cock English.

Strong like horse.

F*** that.

That's not so bad.

You like nice and rough.

Nice.

Pick up, Eve.

The number you have reached is not

in service at this time and--

F***!

Sh*t.

You lost?

Nope.

Sh*t.

Sh*t.

Sh*t.

Sh*t.

On your knees, son.

Okay, chow mein. Who do you work for?

F*** you, Chelios.

F***in' ground.

Oo.

F***.

Oo-Oo.

You found me in quite an unpleasant

mood this morning, mate.

Now... I'm gonna ask you this

question one time.

Who's gots my f***ing strawberry tart?

Capiche?

J-J-...

...-J-...J-J-...

...-J-J--

...Just spit the f***ing name out!

Johnny Vang!

Johnny f***ing Vang?

Johnny f***ing Vang?

Good boy. Where?

Cypress Social Club!

Cypress...Cypress Social Club.

Now you're sure about that, ain't ya?

Good boy. Thanks for coming.

Now you can keep that.

Hello. Doc Miles.

Yeah... Doc, it's Chev.

Jesus H... Chelios!

You've gotta be kiddin' me.

Listen, I'm deadly f***in' serious, Doc.

These Triad motherfuckers cut out

my f***in' heart

and put in one of those plastic

artificial jobs.

You got an artificial heart?

Do you think I'm having a f***in' laugh?

No-No-No, but you got to admit,

it's a little out there, dude.

Yeah, you take your f***in' time, Doc.

You don't have any time,

if you've got an artificial heart.

They're not designed to keep you

alive more than a couple days

while you're waitin' on a transplant.

And don't do anything strenuous.

Yeah, sure, Doc. No problem.

So what's my next f***in' move?

Well, we got to get a real heart put

back in you preferably your own.

I'm on it.

Okay, you're on it.

Doc! Jesus f***ing Christ!

I'm-I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Does-Does-- Let me-- Does that thing

have a a-a-a a belt battery pack?

Check.

How many bars are showing?

One.

Sh*t. That's better than none, I guess.

Look, what they did you with is

an Avicor Total Artificial Heart.

It's got an internal battery that'll

pick up once the belt battery dies.

It's like a reserve tank.

Once the internal battery takes over,

you got one f***in' hour.

The internal battery charges

wirelessly through

its transcutaneous energy transfer system.

Two coils, there's one internal,

one external that transmit the, uh,

magnetic force across the skin

without piercing the surface.

The internal coil receives power

and sends it to the controller device.

Is this makin' any f***in' sense to you,

Chevy?

It's f***ing Greek, Doc.

Greek.

Look, you got to keep your body

electrically charged to keep

that piece of sh*t pumpin'.

Copy that.

Hey, Chev.

Yeah.

I'm stoked you're alive, dude.

I'll get back to you, Doc.

Yeah, well, y-- Call me.

F***!

Hey-Hey-Hey!

That's a nice car.

I don't suppose you know where

the Cypress Social Club is, do you?

Man, f*** that sh*t, puto.

Let's race, ese.

Don't you tempt me, f***er.

What I need from you is directions.

Oh, sh*t.

Sh*t!

Damn, dog. You good, ese?

Tiger f***in' Woods.

Never better.

Greatest day of my f***in' life.

You gents couldnt point me

in the direction of the

Cypress Social Club, could ya?

Well, you ain't too far.

You go down Orange for, like,

two miles and then you're there, homes.

Cool.

You mind givin' me a jump?

Just juice me.

Hey, Menudo, where's the f***in' Social Club?

Uh, donde esta La Social Club?

Buenos nachos, white boy.

This is a f***ing social club?

You Johnny Vang?

Uh-uh.

Go!

Get lost, b*tch.

F*** you!

What?

Where's Johnny Vang?

You lookin' to get your ass killed, dog?

Wrong expression.

You ain't tappin' my ass.

There you go, cupcake.

F***in' no Ebola for me today, thanks.

There goes my ride!

What's that, f***ing c*nt-onese?

I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.

Johnny Vang?

Yes.

Where?

Hey, dude why you in rush?

Wait for me!

Goddamn!

Get off me!

Get out of the f***ing car!

Hey!

Get your own f***in' station wagon!

Damn!

F***!

Hey!

You taking this too fast with me.

Which way?

I want you to take it slow.

Which way?

Hey! Hey!

You didn't ask name.

Shut up a minute, for f***'s sake!

Where is he?

Johnny Vang?

Yes!

Motherf***er!

Baby!

Where's f***in' Chelios?

You like sushi, Chinese man?

How the f*** am I supposed to know

what kind of ''-ese'' you is,

you slanty-eyed f***?

Check it out. Sushi.

Hey, Chico!

Hm?

We can make a deal.

Hm?

Eve?

Eve.

Here, baby.

Eve!

Chev.

Hey. I need you to take your f***in'

hands off Lemon now, man.

Who the f*** are you?

Who the f*** am I?

Who the f*** are you?

Do you know this guy, Lemon?

''Lemon''?

You were dead.

Uh...

I'm...uh, I'm so confused right now.

What's that ticking sound?

Yeah, what is that sound?

You're kinda weird, tick-man.

It's time for you to go!

Randy?

''Randy''? Come here.

F***!

Not you.

Babe, it's not--

Who the f*** is that?

Ah, some whore.

F***, no.

That was a mistake.

Oh, f***.

Look she's helpin' me find my heart.

Yeah. What?

Go away.

Come on, let's go.

What?

Oh, you dozy c*nt.

No.

We need his ass alive.

Chev Chelios.

Let's save some bullets, dude.

I'm up for that,

when we've all had a drink.

Should I duck?

Yeah.

Shall I bypass the formalities?

Of course.

Who do you work for and what the f***

do they want with me?

EI Huron.

English!

What's a f***in' ''EI who-done''?

It's a ferret.

He wants you alive...

so he can watch you die.

Oh, yeah? Why?

I don't know. Doesn't everybody?

Shut up. Oo, you lucky bastard.

Eve, let's go.

Che-Che, Che-Che-Che-- Chev Cherios.

Get on the floor now!

Turn around.

Hey!

Hey!

Oh, it's on now!

No, stop!

Get off!

Get off me, ma'am!

Stop it!

No!

Why didn't you call me?

Like f*** I didn't.

Didn't you get my message?

No!

Where have you been for the last

three months?

I thought you were dead.

I fell a mile out of a helicopter.

It's a long story.

No way! You know what?

That's totally possible.

I saw this video on YouTube

where this guy's parachute doesn't open

and he falls like fourteen thousand feet

and he lives.

Yes baby, I know it's possible

because I f***in' did it!

Quit it.

Since when were you on the Internet?

You know, a lot of things have

changed since you died.

I didn't f***in' die.

Well, that's besides the point,

isn't it?

Get off!

Oo!

Where are we going, Chev?

I don't know.

I need to find that slant from the club,

the one with the red cooler.

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