Crash Dive Page #6

my first tour of duty

in a submarine-

and I wasn't sick.

I was pretending.

So they left me ashore.

Was you afraid?

Ship never came back.

She was sunk in action.

All the crew was lost.

All except me.

I was safe ashore.

Now do you see?

Yeah.

I see.

So you'll... keep your trap shut,

won't you?

Don't worry about me.

The way I see it, nobody consults

nobody when he's born...

so they oughta give him a little

leeway when he's-

I- I- I mean,

if he's-

Thanks, mate.

See you around, Mac.

Now, look, girls,

I wanna tell you once again-

pull the string back

with your three forefingers...

trying to rest your thumb-

Feet 50 inches apart,

and your bodies facing me squarely.

All right. Ready, aim...

fire.

That was all right, girls.

Let's try it once again quickly, shall we?

And try to remember

your form.

All right. Aim...

fire!

Oh, many a shaft

at random spent...

finds marks the archer never meant.

Girls, you can relax

just a moment.

How many times do I have to tell you

to stay away from here?

Many a word at random spoken

can soothe or wound a heart that's broken.

- You know who wrote that?

- Please go away.

- Sir Walter Scott.

- I beg of you. Do you want me to lose my job?

I have a suggestion to make,

or call it an offer.

- Would you like to get rid of me?

- Most decidedly.

Good. Then have dinner

with me tonight-just once.

And I promise never to see you again

unless you insist on it.

- What do you say?

- No.

- Is that final?

- Yes.

Who's this coming along here?

Could it be Miss Bromley?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Now, she wouldn't want to find me here.

What about tonight?

In all my life, I've never met a more

unscrupulous man, a man with less principle.

What time should I

pick you up tonight and where?

7:
00.

Outside the school.

Hello, Miss Bromley.

Taking your afternoon constitutional?

Attention, girls.

We'll try it once again.

Would you mind telling me, after riding

for three hours, where we're going?

- The best restaurant in the state.

- Yes, but what state?

- Massachusetts.

- If you don't mind, I'd rather eat in Connecticut.

Sorry. We've already crossed the state line.

We're almost there.

What sort of a place

are you taking me to?

A roadhouse.

- Is this it?

- Mm-hmm.

- You're sure this is the place?

- It certainly is.

I've been here dozens of times.

You'll love it- not only the food,

but the atmosphere...

the privacy.

We have to ring the bell to get in?

Yes, of course.

It's very exclusive.

Mr. Ward!

Good evening, sir.

- Good evening.

- I'm so glad to see you.

- I suppose you're looking for-

- Reservations. Yes.

- I hope they've been well taken care of.

- Reservations, sir?

- How's business?

- Business, sir?

Yes, the last time I was here,

you were jammed. Oh, the war, I suppose.

- Can't expect business as usual. Hmm?

- Uh,yes, sir.

Would you like a drink

or go to the bar?

- Miss Hewlitt, I can explain.

- I don't think so.

You mentioned several times

that this is rather a small world.

I never agreed

with you until now.

You're right. It is small.

Too small for the both of us.

- Now look. Just a minute If you'll-

- Hi, Stinky!

- Hello, Butch!

- Come up here, you old sea dog.

Give us a kiss.

- Hello. How are you this evening?

- You don't know her.

- Oh, a new one.

- Yes.

Scoundrel.

Why didn't you write?

Dear heart, there are

no letter boxes in the North Atlantic.

- But I was thinking of you. That's why I'm here tonight.

- You're a liar.

You're here for some ulterior motive.

Probably grub.

Grandmother,

may I present Miss Hewlitt?

- Hello.

- How do you do?

Where'd you get this one?

Darling, you were saying something

about some grub.

- I think I will go have a talk with the cook.

- He can pick 'em.

- I beg your pardon?

- You play gin rummy?

- Well, I just learned-

- A pigeon. Come along. Henry?

- Yes, madam?

- Dry martinis.

- Yes, madam.

- This way to the slaughterhouse.

Yes. Yes, he was very

funny when he was a kid.

There's been

a big change since then.

Ah. Midshipman.

It took all our influence to keep him from

being thrown out of the academy the first year.

I graduated with honors.

I was among the first six.

There was always something

very queer about that.

I don't think he could possibly be

as bad as you say he was.

Or as good

as you say you were.

I remember that was taken

the first day he went to school.

I suggested reform school.

They wouldn't take my advice.

- Aw, look at that.

- A demon.

An imp of Satan

if ever there was one.

Well, if you don't believe me,

look at that.

- How adorable!

- No, no. That's all. That's all for tonight.

What a guy. I shall never forget

the first time we took him to Europe.

- There was a girl- - Miss Hewlitt is

not interested in your aimless meandering.

Besides, it's way past

your bedtime.

I get you, Steve.

- Good night.

- Good night.

You're okay. The McCoy.

I approve of her entirely.

Come on, Butch.

Go to bed. Go to bed.

Oh, Stinky.

All right.

Give us a kiss.

Hewlitt, watch out for him.

He'll charm the shirt off your back

if you give him the chance.

I know. I haven't

got a shirt left.

How do you like that?

Gin rummy before dinner...

and she's monopolized

your whole evening with that album.

- I ought to apologize for her.

- You don't have to.

I think she's wonderful.

So sweet.

Well, in her palmy days,

they do say-

She had three husbands

that we know of.

- Would you like some more coffee?

- No, thanks.

- It's getting awfully late. Don't

you think we- - Oh, no, no. Sit down.

I haven't had a chance to see you alone

all evening, and I've got to talk to you.

- No, I think-

- Please. Sit down.

- Have a cigarette.

- No, thanks. Wait.

Where'd you get this picture?

Clipped it out of the newspaper.

That U.S.O. party the other night.

I'm starting a new album.

Now,just relax. If I get out of line,

you can scream...

and Butch will come

charging down.

- Of course, she's a little deaf, you know.

- I can scream loud enough.

Yes, I'm sure of that.

I think it's time that we came

to an understanding.

Just what do we mean

to each other?

I'll be quite honest

with you.

- The other night, when you bumped

into me in my berth- - In my berth.

Okay, your berth.

I thought you were very stunning.

Yes, that's it.

And I was stunned by you.

Of course, my, uh, intentions

at that time-

- You don't need to go any further.

- Thank you.

When I was away

on that cruise...

I thought of you

an awful lot.

- Even under the sea I thought of you.

- And on the surface?

I thought how nice

it would be if this girl...

this awfully swell girl

and I could, uh...

could be friends.

That's all I ask,Jean.

Will you give me

your hand on it?

If I do, how do I know you won't

throw me over your shoulder?

I promise not to.

My friend, I think it's time

that I take you home.

Thank you...

my friend.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Here you are at home,

safe and sound.

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