Crave Page #2

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I'm on step 29.

He's so right.

They're-- they're--

they're hearing.

They're not listening.

And they really need to listen,

because-- oh, here it comes.

Oh, okay, this is the best part.

Listen to this.

Here's-- he's givin' his goal

right here, right here.

Yes.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

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That was profound.

Did you feel it?

Did you feel that?

I felt a chill!

He's so good.

God is here.

He's here.

I love our sobriety.

God is doing for me

what I cannot do for myself.

I miss anything?

You see, God

is all things to me.

How come you never tried out

for the force?

You seem like

a real crime buff.

Nah.

I'd never pass

the psych test.

Plus, me with a badge

and a gun, forget it.

I'd be waving those things

around every five minutes.

Yeah.

I'm well-trained.

Hey, Pete...

Uh, I-I'm gettin' weird.

I mean, just lately...

I've been feeling a little,

uh, divergent.

Divergent?

You mean nuts?

Yeah, squirrelly.

It's just I spend a lot of time

living in my head, you know?

And-and it's

like an ordeal just...

keepin' it

together lately.

Uh, it doesn't

seem normal.

Well, don't ask me about normal,

'cause I sure as sh*t

couldn't tell ya.

It's like, say some loud dipshit

on his cell phone at the bank,

I want to blow

his f***in' head off!

Right off a trunk!

I feel like the world would be

a better place if I did.

Take it easy,

I could be wired here.

Oh, sh*t.

Can I get a little ice water

too, sweetie?

Thank you.

You must get

frustrated.

I mean, lockin' up

these guys all the time

who'll eventually

get out.

You mean guys who could never,

ever be rehabilitated?

Right.

Yes!

Okay,

let me ask you this:

would the world be

a better place if,

let's say, five out of

ten of these guys

that you lock up just had

a bullet in their heads.

Try nine out of ten.

No sh*t, for real?

Abso-f***in'-lutely.

Okay, okay.

Right, so how do you

deal with that?

How do you justify it?

Don't you ever just want to

simplify the process?

Thank you, babe.

You know, this, um, whole

angry white man routine,

it's very cute.

It's very 1992.

I like it.

F*** you very much.

Simplify?

Are you f***in' kidding me?

Everybody feels like this.

I don't know anybody

who doesn't.

But what are you gonna do?

I don't know, Pete.

I don't know.

I just want--

So this young Indian brave

goes to this old Indian chief

and he says, "I got all these

feelings inside of me,

and a part of me wants to be

good and righteous

and the other part of me wants

to be evil and vengeful."

And the old guy

looks at him and he says,

"Every one of us has a good wolf

and a bad wolf

living inside of us."

So the young kid says to him,

"Well, which one is

stronger?"

And the old guy says,

"Whichever one you feed more."

Hard to believe

you're not married, Pete.

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Hey.

Hey.

Sorry about the other day.

What happened the other day?

Uh, me and that guy.

Right.

Y-your boyfriend?

Yeah, my boyfriend.

I think.

I don't know,

we're taking a break.

So it was true love, then?

Yeah.

That's funny.

Oh, sh*t!

I-it's laundry day.

Right.

Anyway...

Anyway.

Thanks, I needed that.

I aim to please.

Yeah, hello?

Yeah, I know Jimmy.

Oh!

Oh, that's very nice of him.

Um, what-what can I

do for you today?

Um, you know what?

I can shuffle a few things

around and I can make that work.

What's the job?

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? If anyone knew what you do

? If anyone knew about you

? If anyone knew what you

put me through ?

? If anyone knew what you do

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Pervert!

Camera guy?

Want to take a picture

of my daughter?

? If anyone knew about you

? If anyone knew

the things you do ?

Sweetie, let's look like

you want to be here.

We spent a lot of money.

Okay.

Well, uh, say...

Say "cheese," I guess.

Uh, can we hurry this up?

Thanks.

Barry, can you just

let the man do his job?

Hi, Maggie!

Perfect.

Try not to eat

the whole table, dick.

Ladies... ladies,

I have to talk to you.

To me?

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Hey, there.

Hey.

How's it goin'?

Nice suit.

Thank you.

Well, you know,

it's no big deal.

It's certainly

an improvement.

After you.

Um, so what floor?

Oh, right, sorry.

Four.

That's my floor too.

Is that right?

Uh-huh.

So...

So.

What's goin' on?

Oh...

so it's on me?

Sorry, I don't usually

wear panties.

It's fine, whatever.

Hold on.

F***!

Come on!

All right!

Oh!

F***!

Oh, f***!

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, f***!

No, Aiden.

This time it's real.

You should probably go.

What?

No spooning?

Let's not ruin it.

Yeah, right.

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Being charming is

not just a matter of dress,

it's also a

matter of attitude.

It's a matter of smiling.

Smiling is kind of an

interesting reaction.

Ever seen a dog smile?

They do, you know?

And people warm up to that.

And that's exactly one step

on the road to--

Hi.

Hi.

Um, hi again?

Um, hey, look.

I just wanted to say that

I don't even know your name.

Yeah, uh, maybe we should

keep it that way.

Oh.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

Look, I don't need

to know your name,

and you don't need

to know mine.

It was just...

It happened,

and it was fun.

So let's not get

carried away prematurely.

Carried away, right.

Okay.

What I mean is you don't have to

meet my friends or family,

and I'm not gonna bake us

cookies or anything, okay?

Why don't I just call you

Miss Perfect, then, how's that?

Really?

All right.

Come in.

Look, um...

let's just pretend

it didn't happen, all right?

Sure, that would work.

I mean, I know

it did happen, but, um,

it's just I-- I'm not

a-- I-- I don't--

Look, I'm not gonna stay

or try to hit on ya,

or anything

like that.

I just-- I just wanted to say

that it was nice meeting you.

And, uh,

I'll see you 'round.

How's that sound?

I'm not even gonna ask

about that.

Okay.

Okay, that was good.

That was real good.

Play it cool.

Just don't smother her.

Don't scare her off.

Just play it cool,

and she'll come to you.

You desperate f***.

And besides, now

you've got the stink on ya.

They know.

All those b*tches know.

Oh yeah,

you're the fish truck,

and you're drivin'

through kitty town.

How you doin', man?

What else can

I get for ya?

Uh, gimme, um...

Gimme five quick picks.

Sure.

You owe me 10%,

all right?

What do I owe you?

7.50.

All right, all right,

all right!

Here we go, here we go!

All your money now!

Come on, man!

What else you got?

All right.

What you got, man?

All your sh*t!

Take my phone.

Yeah, let's go!

Ah, f*** it.

Let's go!

Let's go!

Okay, man.

F*** this, let's go!

Come on!

Hey, don't look at me!

Don't look at me

and shut the f*** up!

Come on, let's go!

That's all you got?

F*** you!

This always has to happen!

You all right, man?

Hi, uh,

we've just been robbed.

We're at the corner

of Griswold and-- Hey!

Hey, where the f***

are you goin', man?

Stay here and wait

for the cops!

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This is nothing.

Remember that time

when you saved the world?

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