Crazy in Alabama Page #2

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to your final rest.

So many ghosts had been through

this house, you could smell them.

Uncle Dove said being

a funeral director...

... wasn't quite as much fun

as it looked.

Hours were long, and you didn't

see people at their best.

Well, this is where we live.

You all have the run of the attic.

Dove? Dove, is that you?

No, Earlene, it's the milkman.

Are you decent? The boys are here.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

You poor darlings. I can't even

imagine what you've been through.

Get dressed!

Aunt Earlene had a firm grip.

We liked her because

she introduced us to Pop-Tarts...

...Kool-Aid, Chef Boyardee.

Also, she had a voice you could hear

half a block away.

But what can I tell you? Chester was

just a perfectly dreadful man.

I can't remember a single moment

when he didn't get on my nerves.

Oh, and Dove...

...don't ever push me too far.

Let's go shopping.

My name is Carolyn Clay,

and I need a hat.

I mean, I need a hatbox.

I mean, I need a hat.

Remember that movie

with Audrey Hepburn?

I think it was at Tiffany's.

The one with the floppy brim.

Something like that.

And a real nice hatbox.

We only offer the boxes

for the couture line.

Show me those, then,

because I have to have the box.

Care to leave your groceries here

while we're looking?

Five hundred dollars.

It's perfect.

I'll take it.

You little slut.

Waste my damn money on a hat.

Tell me what you got in the box.

A present for you!

-What do you need?

-What are they having?

Hurricanes.

Sounds good.

Give me one of those.

Two-fifty.

You're not local, are you?

No, just passing through.

Better keep on moving.

You can't work in here.

I'm not looking for a job.

I'm an actress.

Yeah, right.

And I'm Fred Astaire.

Here. Take your money,

drink your drink...

...and walk on over to Esplanade

with all the other whores.

You heard what I said, sugar.

Wait, wait!

Don't move.

How dare you insult me?

Do you realize that this hat

cost $500?

-It's a misunderstanding.

-Is that your car?

I'll take you, just don't take my car.

Put your keys on the bar,

and give me all your money.

Do it now!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What did you put in her drink?

Don't you talk to me!

Come on! Come on!

Quick, I gotta go.

You need to learn the difference

between a whore and a lady.

Don't take my car.

She's taking my car!

I keep seeing his eyes.

He's looking at me.

Who?

Uncle Chester.

Stop thinking about him.

It gives me the willies.

What'd she do to you, anyways?

You've been weird ever since she left.

Nothing.

Come on, Peejoe. Don't lie to me.

It was just a bunch of crazy stuff.

She made me swear not to tell.

She always looked after us

special, Wiley.

We gotta protect her

from that sheriff. He's mean.

You better not get us in trouble.

We get kicked out of here,

and we got no place to go.

She knew what she was doing.

She planned it out, Wiley.

She's not as crazy

as she wants everybody to think.

She seems pretty wacko to me.

-Funny. Listen to me.

-Still not deep enough.

I told you I'd come

knock some sense into you.

Chester, if that's really you,

leave me the hell alone.

Murder, armed robbery,

grand-theft auto. You lost your mind.

Want me to stop this car

and kill you again?

-God, you just keep pushing!

-How're you gonna kill me again?

Just one more thing.

She say how she killed him?

No, sir.

She pulled a .45 on a bartender

in New Orleans and stole his car.

That's ridiculous.

Baby sister wouldn't do that.

I beg to differ.

Your baby sister's

one bad little girl.

I'm gonna bring her in...

...one way or another.

And you're gonna help me.

She gonna call you...

...and you gonna say

just exactly what it takes.

Go.

I'll let you know what I hear.

-Can they put me in jail for lying?

-Not unless you're under oath.

Why don't y'all go down to

the pool for a while? Have some fun.

We've all had enough of this mess.

-You think she stole a car?

-Absolutely.

If baby sister needed a car,

she'd get one.

I bet she's having the time

of her life off there by herself.

I hope she is.

I hope she's living it up.

Because if she does get caught,

that's when the fun stops.

Hey, I know you.

Weren't you marching

at the courthouse yesterday?

So what if I was?

I just saw you, that's all.

I ain't gonna tell anybody.

You better leave me alone.

-Get out of the pool.

-Where's everybody going?

Just get out.

Come on out of there.

Who let you boys in the pool?

Nobody.

We just came in back yonder.

You snuck in, is what you did.

Come on out.

-We wanna swim. That's all.

-Go on home.

It's white only allowed in this pool.

Excuse me. This is a public place.

We have a right to be here.

Right.

Come on, let's go.

-I'm going over there.

-No, stay here.

Go on home, now!

Y'all just run along!

-Pikcaninny!

-Go swim in the pond!

No coloured people.

-Go swim somewhere else.

-I'll kick your butt.

-Y'all know you don't belong here.

-Go swim in the pond!

-Here you go.

-Thank you.

Where you headed, hon?

California.

You going out there

to be a movie star?

How could you tell?

We get about one through here a week.

Bet you've already got

your movie name picked out.

I sure do. It's Carolyn Clay.

Kind of like Marilyn Monroe,

only different. You like it?

It's all right. But,

honey, my advice to you:

Go back to the husband.

It's too late for that.

He's dead.

Well, I hope you know

how to wait tables, then.

How did he die? I mean,

if you don't mind me asking.

I killed him.

Well.

I guess that fixed

his little red wagon.

He's following me, though.

I mean, not him, his ghost.

Only it don't sound like a ghost.

It sounds just like him.

Are you sure he's dead?

I made sure of that.

Do you ever need to get rid of

somebody that just would not go away?

My first husband.

He used to yell out his mother's name

when we were doing it, making love.

The only thing Chester ever yelled

was "touchdown."

It's a warm day

here in Cotton County.

Expecting a high temperature of 96,

with a chance...

... of thunderstorms.

They just want to swim.

You heard what Uncle Dove said.

It's not fair.

It's just the way things are.

What if you wanted to swim

and they threw you out like that?

Oh, forget it. Go get wet.

Jim!

John.

You get out of there right now.

Come on!

What in the world do they think

they'll do?

Hold on.

You boys don't want any trouble.

We don't want trouble, sir.

We just wanna swim.

-What's your name, son?

-Taylor Jackson.

Well, Taylor...

...this pool is for white only.

Y'all gonna have to move on.

We'll just sit right here

till you change your mind.

-We're going home now.

-You go.

You come home with me right now

or I'm getting Dove.

Just thank God he's not a religious

fanatic. That's a pain in the butt.

My third husband, Charlie,

when he'd get--

Howdy, Raymond!

Good morning, Sally.

-How you doing?

-Good.

Hon, it's getting kind of late.

Don't you wanna get back

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