Crazy in the Noodle

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CRAZY IN THE NOODLE

Does he do this every day?

-Normally, he sounds less sad.

This won't work. Too depressing.

Farewell...

Farewell...

Mr Cousin?

-Yes, that's me. Thanks.

A note, sir.

-Sorry, I didn't see that.

Could happen to anyone.

Keep it all.

-Thank you, sir.

Farewell, my friend!

Mr Cousin, phone call for you.

-I'm no longer here.

It's Miss Wanda.

-Wanda, Wanda? I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Why didn't you tell me?

Wanda, yes, this is Pierre.

Good to hear from you.

Dear Wanda.

What?

I still have your letters

with me.

Now? Right away?

I'll be right there.

I smell gas.

-Gas?

Gas.

My God, the poison.

An antidote...

milk...

Milk... milk... milk...

Do you have any milk?

-Yes, there's milk in the fridge.

Have you...

...got milk? Milk! Milk!

Have you got milk?

I can pour it myself.

Make yourself at home.

Thanks, you're too kind.

Excuse me.

People are waiting for me.

Put it on my bill.

Wanda, dear Wanda, I see you...

I relive...

Have you got my letters?

-Your letters, always...

And those are yours.

-Is that why you asked me over?

Ah, Wanda...

I'll explain later.

Who's this gentleman?

The mailman.

It would have been too good.

If you want to kill yourself,

try something else.

You're very lucky.

Last week, I was transporting bricks.

Help! Help! Help!

-Wait, I'm coming.

Help! Help! Help!

-One moment. I'm coming.

Wait for me. I'm coming.

-Help! Help! Help!

Help me...

Where are you?

Where did she go?

I've got her.

No, she's gone.

Anybody there?

Come here, here! This way!

This way, here...

Wait.

-Put your foot..

Help! Help! Help!

police station

Short, but dry.

-Thank you.

You couldn't leave like that.

Here, coffee.

-You're too kind.

It's the least I can do.

Here's my belt.

-Oh, thanks.

Before I met you,

I was biased about coppers.

Excuse me, I mean the police.

-It's alright.

I was wrong, you're a nice fellow.

-Thanks.

I say...

In case you're cold.

-Excuse me.

After you. Just an ID check.

It won't take long.

Congratulations, sir,

congratulations.

Which number?

-22.

It's funny.

I hope you won't do it again.

-No, inspector, I was too afraid.

Is she alright?

-Not even a cold.

What were you thinking?

You're young, you're beautiful...

No, don't cry like that.

Have you got a handkerchief?

-Thank you.

Here...

Alright, now I can go.

-The inspector wants to see you.

Me? What for?

For a medal.

-Which medal?

A medal because you saved

the lady's life, silly.

But I don't want...

-What a hero.

I'm in a bit of a hurry.

-It won't take long. Sit down.

Do you like the premises?

It was a pleasure to meet you.

It was nice meeting you too.

-You can keep my belt.

You were born in August, correct?

You're a Leo.

Master of the sun, domineering,

cruel commander. Permit me?

Occipital lobe... ambiguous...

parietal lobe... convulsive...

You'd be an excellent opponent

for the Martians.

You have an excellent lifeline.

Middle finger and ring finger are equal.

Hypertrophic palm of the hand.

What does that mean?

You'll live to a 100, sir.

A hundred years? That's not good.

-Better get used to the idea...

...unless someone kills you.

Kills me? Thank you.

Thank you.

You've just saved my life.

Ah, there you are.

-Did you run off again?

Don't touch me.

-Has he been good?

We're going home.

I'll file a complaint with the minister.

-But of course, my friend.

Excuse us.

-See you next time.

Hello guys.

Anything for me?

An assault.

-Nobody cares anymore.

Are we going?

-I might have something for you.

That's good. Where's the body?

She's not dead.

-You're not funny.

I can't help it.

-Are we leaving now?

Caroline Clment, artist

That rings a bell.

-Major award in 1955.

Hasn't done anything since.

-That's fine.

Forget it.

It's not interesting.

Cousin, did he commit suicide too?

-He helped the lady.

Composer... does that ring a bell?

-No, off we go.

I knew it. You're an idiot.

I'll take you home by car.

Hey, come on.

-Thanks.

I don't want any journalists.

She wants suicide without journalists.

-Don't talk, take pictures.

Well? Broken heart?

-None of your business.

Personally, I don't care,

but our readers like this.

Leave her alone.

Do you think it's funny?

She has no luck with her career.

That's perfect. Come on,

take pictures.

You're crazy.

-A singer who doesn't want pictures?

Pictures!

Thanks everyone.

-And congratulations.

Where's Pierre?

-He's gone.

It's alright. We have his address.

Come on.

-Another late night.

Do I know this neighbourhood?

I've lived here for 25 years.

I was told there are murderers

in this neighbourhood.

Here in Mont-Martre?

That's been a long time, sir.

If you want to see one,

you have to go somewhere else.

Get his money.

Paolo.

I have a favour to ask.

Come in, come in.

An experience in space, madam?

Come in, sir.

You'll enjoy it.

A murderer?

You're a real comedian.

Some people...

Come in, come in.

Come in, sir, madam.

Did you say I have to kill you?

-Yes, indeed!

Excuse me.

He and his music!

Does the music bother you?

-No, it drives me up the wall.

Ah music. If I could choose,

I'd be a composer.

I understand.

-How much do you pay?

For what?

-For your disappearance.

Disappearance?

Ah yes, excuse me.

Sixty thousand francs, alright?

-Are you pulling my leg?

No deal under a million.

-Excuse me. I didn't mean to offend.

It's the first time...

-Listen...

Beautiful, isn't it?

-Yes...

Listen can't you give me credit.

-We don't give credit.

Really not.

-Well...

Can we make some kind of deal?

-But what about my payment?

Can't you kill me for free?

Are you crazy?

I'd get into trouble with the union.

When would you want it?

-Right now.

Are you making fun of me?

You can't improvise it.

It has to be prepared.

I just can't wait.

-Find someone else then.

I work legally.

Alright then.

-I'm busy for the next two months.

I have too many jobs.

You'll have to wait.

Listen, isn't it dramatic?

-Yes, it's dramatic.

I like you. Drop in now and then.

When I have time, I'll help you.

Good evening, sir.

-Is it special?

Special? It's the best in all of Paris.

Plenty of spectacle, a striptease and

a surprise party.

Striptease in Calcutta

striptease in Hong Kong...

Please.

Carte Rouge, you're

an expert.

Did you ask for me?

-It must be a mistake.

Always the same.

-No, this gentleman needs to relax.

The orchestra drinks to the health

of this gentleman.

You're too good.

No, wait, I have to go.

-But sir.

The party only just started.

If you prefer, I could leave.

-You're here now...

Would you like to dance?

-Absolutely not.

Ah, I prefer it this way.

This way we can talk.

What, he drowned?

-No...

He's a hero.

-A Hero?

We'll explain later. Where is he?

-I don't know.

What time is he home normally?

-I don't know.

Artists don't have a routine.

-But what about us?

We'll be back tomorrow.

Take a picture.

They all refused.

-All, all, all.

You're a strange person.

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