Creepshow

I've told you before,

I don't want you to read this crap!

I never saw such rotten crap in my life!

Where do you get this sh*t?

Who sells it to you?

I am talking to you, young man!

Answer me when I talk to you!

You remember who puts the bread

on the damn table around here!

Don't be too hard on him.

All the kids read them.

My boy isn't all the kids!

Do you want to know where this is going?

Right into the garbage!

You got any smart mouth about that?

I don't see how it's any worse

than the books you keep in your dresser!

The ones under your underwear.

Those sex books!

You didn't have to--

Hit him? Not only do l find out

he's reading this crap...

...but he's a little snoop as well!

lt wasn't like that!

You asked me to get your cufflinks!

lt was on Sunday!

l'll go down and close the windows

before the rain gets in.

l'll do it. l got some garbage

l want to throw away.

Daddy, please, don't throw it away.

l'm sorry.

Next time l find you with a worthless

piece of sh*t like this again...

...you won't sit down for a week!

You remember that!

Tuck in.

That takes care of that.

Stan, don't you think you were

a little hard on him?

Did you see that crap?

All that horror crap. Things coming out

of crates and eating people?

Dead people coming back to life?

People turning into weeds?

-Yes, l did, but--

-Do you want him reading that stuff?

-Well, no, but--

-All right, then.

l took care of it.

That's why God made fathers, babe.

That's why God made fathers.

l hope you rot in hell!

Do you really think she'll be out?

Of course she will, Richard.

You know that.

You can set your watch by her.

Pass those scones, Cass.

You're such a hog.

You married a great hog, Henry.

But then, l suppose you know that,

don't you?

Our Cass has always had

such an extremely healthy appetite.

Who is coming out, Cass?

You mean Cass hasn't told you

about dotty old great Aunt Bedelia?

The patriarch of our clan?

lsn't she the one

who was supposed to have...?

Supposed to have murdered her father?

Yes.

Bedelia is my aunt.

Which means that she is

Richard and Cass's great aunt.

Which also means

that she's older than God.

But her father, Nathan,

was even older and meaner than that.

You're all a bunch of dirty vultures...

...just waiting to get your hands

on my money!

He was hysterically jealous

of Bedelia all his life.

A complete Freudian relationship.

Then when he was about 184,

he had a stroke.

And lucky Bedelia,

she got to nurse him full-time.

Then she met a fella.

Yes, sir, a real September courtship.

September courtship!

This was October or November,

at the very latest.

He was 75!

Aunt Bedelia is...?

Never mind, my dears.

The point is Bedelia loved

her rather elderly beau...

...and her own father had him murdered!

Yarbro was the guy's name

and he supposedly died...

...in a "hunting accident."

That's what's on the books, anyway.

For Bedelia, it was the last straw.

She bashed her father's head in

with a marble ashtray.

So rumor has it.

Well, however it happened...

...it was good riddance

to some extremely bad rubbish.

And my lovely niece

and my handsome nephew...

...have very good reasons

for being pleased...

...by old Nathan's death.

There was no trouble about the will.

Share and share alike.

And now...

...every Father's Day,

every single Father's Day since his death...

...for seven long years,

she returns to this house.

The "scene of the crime. "

-ls that--

-Oh, yes.

You can almost set your watch by her.

"Screech to a halt," as they say.

Do you think she really did it?

Oh, yes.

l know she did.

Bedelia was always very unstable,

even when she was much younger.

After the death of her gentleman friend,

she grew steadily worse.

Why Father's Day?

Because that was the day of the tragedy.

And she is overwhelmed

with her own guilt.

She will go to her father's grave

and meditate for about an hour.

Then she will come inside

and we'll all sit down...

...to a nice baked ham dinner.

The three of us--

l'm so sorry, Henry...

...the four of us...

...who now owe her so very much.

I want my cake!

Where's my cake, Bedelia?

Where's my Father's Day cake?

I want my cake...

...you dirty b*tch!

I'm going to have it!

lt's Father's Day!

Where's my cake?

You promised me my cake.

l'm your father and you're supposed to be

taking care of me!

l don't hear you! l said, l don't hear you!

You b*tch!

What do you think l've got you here for?

You're just like all the others.

You're nothing but a bunch of vultures!

l want my cake.

Bedelia!

Where's my Father's Day cake?

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day.

l didn't know l had it in me!

l'm your daughter, right? You bootlegger.

Killer! Murderer!

Ungrateful bastard.

You shouldn't have killed Yarbro!

He was a man, a real man!

Everything l wanted, he wanted for me!

You stupid bastard! You screwed it all up.

You screwed up my mother,

you screwed me up.

You got me so mad, you drove me crazy.

"l want my cake, Bedelia, you b*tch! "

You called me a b*tch!

Sylvia fixed it all.

Ashtray back in place.

Chair overturned.

A fall, Daddy, a bad fall.

Nobody could catch us!

Nobody!

You taught me, you taught Sylvia!

You taught us all!

So peaceful here.

Where's my cake, Bedelia?

l want my cake!

lt's Father's Day, Bedelia!

l want my cake!

Cass!

Cass, turn that down!

Turn that down

and turn it down right now!

Shall l glaze the ham now?

No, Mrs. Danvers, you'll have to wait.

Miss Grantham has not yet arrived.

And you will remember

that today is a very special day.

Yes, ma'am.

Ain't life grand, Mrs. D.?

l do hope she's all right.

Sometimes she loses track of time.

Aunt Bedelia?

Miss Grantham, are you around?

Where's my cake?

l want it.

lt's mine.

Where is he?

My dear, l really couldn't say.

No doubt he's still out at the grave,

hobnobbing with your Aunt Bedelia...

...getting her side of the story l expect.

Well, l want him.

And l want my dinner. l'm hungry.

Go get him then.

You go, Richard.

He's your husband.

l don't even like him.

l'll go and get him.

After all, he's such a sweet boy.

Mrs. Danvers?

Mrs. Danvers!

Mrs. Danvers!

l want my cake.

Where is she?

And where the hell is Hank?

Go see, Richard. Please.

Please.

Look, my darling sister...

...he's your hick....

Husband, l mean. You go look for him.

Richard, l'm scared and it's dark out there!

l just want some more wine, okay?

Please, Richard!

All right. Come on.

Come on!

Are we conserving energy?

lt's Father's Day!

And l got my cake!

Happy Father's Day!

Holy Jesus!

That's a meteor!

l'll be dipped in sh*t if that ain't a meteor!

l wonder how much they'd pay for it

at the college?

I wonder how much they'd pay for it

at the college?

Damn fine one, Mr. Verrill!

How does $50 sound?

Not a cent less than $200!

$75?

$200.

My mother didn't raise idiots!

Keep on counting.

Not a cent less than $200.

My meteor, my price!

l can pay off my bank loan!

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