Crime and Punishment

- Sorry to disturb you like this.

- Not at all.

We know you're busy.

Show them the banner.

You can hang it up from here.

We should take a picture.

- In front of the gate.

- Turn it around.

Raise it higher.

Move over a bit.

- Commander, over here.

- I'm fine here, really.

Principal, you move in a bit.

Let's have a round of applause.

Great. Shall we go inside?

Since you started patrolling

the school, it's been a lot safer.

No more delinquents hanging around.

A police presence does help.

When the cat's away,

the mice will play, right?

But when the cat's there,

they behave.

We're grateful to you

and your officers

for stepping up

your evening patrols.

We're just doing our job.

We've had some great feedback

from both students and parents.

- Better to nip trouble in the bud.

- Right, prevention is key.

And your response time

is impressive.

That's military precision, that is.

As soon as we call, you're there.

Not like the regular police.

Well, we've had years of training.

If I stay up late, the next morning

I notice I've lost a lot of hair.

You're losing your hair?

Especially if I have

to work all night.

I found something that works.

- What?

- Apollo brand shampoo.

- Mine stopped falling out.

- Why's everyone losing hair?

- Lack of sleep.

- Late nights, insomnia, stress...

Really?

With this job, you need to relax.

You shouldn't get too wound up.

Otherwise, you'll get insomnia

and lose your hair.

Did I miss any spots?

Just put more

where you think I need it.

Maybe my temples.

I did, and I notice

you're thinning more on this side.

I know.

When did it start?

You mean losing my hair?

After I started working.

Does baldness run in your family?

No, both my parents have great hair.

So it's overwork.

It got really bad last summer

when I was with the coast guard.

After that,

it just kept falling out.

Oh, I thought it started here.

We were just as busy there.

And the tide changes, right?

Sometimes we'd be up at 2:00

or 3:
00 or 4:00 in the morning.

Try Apollo shampoo.

My hair stopped falling out,

and I don't have to use tonic.

It really works.

Where's the body?

There, can't you see it?

Where?

That black thing lying on the bed!

- Where?

- He's not in his right mind...

Where's your family?

See, that's the head.

But the head's gone.

Where'd the head go?

I dunno. But that's the mouth.

- Where's your mom?

- I dunno.

- Where'd she go?

- Dunno.

Call her

and tell her to come home.

- Are you drunk again?

- Who?

- You.

- Why would I be drunk?

Because you mistook that

for a dead body.

There's no mistake.

Can't you even tell the difference

between a body

and a pile of blankets?

What are you saying?

You can't tell the difference between

a person and a pile of blankets.

What are you talking about?

Of course that's a person.

Let's call your mom.

Where is she?

I don't know.

Don't you live here

with your mother?

- Yeah.

- She's home.

- Ma!

- What's going on?

Tell them it's Wang Huan.

- Wang who?

- Wang Huan!

He called to report a dead body,

but it was just a pile of blankets.

He's mentally ill!

- Ma, tell 'em he's the dead guy.

- Who's dead?

Not that he's dead,

tell 'em he's the guy... Wang Huan.

- Who's Wang Huan?

- Wang Huan!

Is this the thing with the blankets

again? He was raving all night...

You shouldn't let him drink.

He's not like this

because he's drunk.

At any rate,

he seems better when he's sober.

He kept the neighbors up

all night screaming.

Woke the whole damn building.

- You can't let him drink.

- He was hollering...

Listen, if he keeps making

false reports,

there are legal penalties.

If we're tied up here,

and something serious happens,

who do you think

we'll hold responsible?

Half of our officers are here now.

How much money before I can call?

What do you mean,

how much money?

You reported a dead body

and there isn't one.

Maybe you're drunk, maybe

you're having some kind of episode,

but if you make a false report again,

you'll be held responsible.

- That's right...

- This isn't a game!

You can't call the police for fun.

If you call with another false alarm

that interferes

with our police work,

if something happens

and we're not there,

your mom's in big trouble.

As your guardian,

your mom can be held

legally and financially responsible.

But this guy owes me 50 yuan

and won't pay me back.

Then take him to court.

If you've got an IOU,

take him to court.

That won't cover transportation...

Ma'am,

you have to keep an eye on him

and not let him drink so much.

As his legal guardian,

you can be held responsible.

- I can't watch him all the time.

- Then disconnect the phone.

Maybe I'll do that.

This happens

every time he gets drunk.

We can't keep coming out here.

Maybe I'll just have him committed.

We're not babysitters.

Last time, he said he found a bomb.

He was finally getting back

to normal, but now he's drunk again.

Look at all the trouble you cause.

This is a false alarm.

There's no dead body here.

Exactly!

Listen, I don't care

whether you're mentally ill

or having an episode

or faking it or drunk,

but if this happens again,

you'll be examined

by a court psychiatrist.

If he says you're mentally ill,

we'll quit responding to your calls.

If he says you're fine,

we'll hold you responsible

for making false reports.

Then you'll be in trouble.

You think that over.

- Let's go.

- Keep an eye on him, ma'am.

I can't watch him every second!

Then unplug the phone.

Or don't give him money for booze.

All right, all right.

Where'd he go?

He's gone!

The body's gone!

You hear that? He's raving.

We've got things to do. Keep him

quiet and don't let him drink.

Take it easy.

- I don't see any dead bodies here.

- Ma, shut the hell up.

You hear how he talks to me?

He hits me too, and kicks me!

Come in.

You gambling in here?

No, just sitting around talking.

Talking?

Looks like a mahjongg table to me.

- No, I swear!

- Oh, you swear?

We were just sitting around,

talking.

Anyone in the other room?

Anyone in here?

That's the toilet.

Looks like we've got

a whole crowd in the toilet.

Come on, everyone out.

What's in that towel?

- Mahjongg tiles?

- No, just some stuff.

Just some stuff? F***...

Are those mahjongg tiles?

Make sure you get the mahjongg set.

Have a seat.

- That's the patio?

- Yeah.

We were just bored,

sitting around talking.

Talking?

With this whole setup?

With the mahjongg table

and the whole setup?

It was just a few guys

having drinks.

Yeah, that's all.

Make sure you get the mahjongg set.

- The mahjongg set.

- What?

The mahjongg set.

- There's one over here!

- Not that one.

Why'd you try to hide the tiles?

We weren't trying to hide them.

We're confiscating these.

- We weren't even playing!

- We're taking them anyway.

Well, at least leave my towel.

I swear we weren't playing.

So you all claim

you weren't playing, right?

None of you?

Anyone who wasn't playing can go.

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