Critical Nexus Page #8

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all ancient history!

So we ran into each other

in an airport like millions

of people do every day.

So that means I've been sleeping

with her behind your back?

Get a grip on

yourself, J-Man!

You're my friend, bro, and

sleeping with my friends' women

has never been my style.

Oh yeah?

I respect people.

And I respect love.

You know that about me.

Now look,

I know that break up hurt you, big guy.

But honestly,

I think you're better off without her.

And I think you're going

to meet the right woman

and bring her into

this bedroom here

and f*** the sh*t out of

her some day soon.

But you know this...

this paranoia is going

to ruin our friendship.

We can't let some b*tch

come between us like that.

Am I right?

Am I right, J-Man?

(CRY)

Yeah.

You're right, man.

- I'm sorry.

- It's alright, it's alright.

Let it all go.

Let it all go.

Dude,

you've always been a good friend to me.

Hey, I gotta check my email,

alright?

Thanks.

Good afternoon. Mr.

Miller.

Good afternoon.

(SIGH)

Have a seat.

(SNIFFLE)

My young colleague tells

me you have a need.

Yes, sir, I suppose I do.

- Is your drink OK?

- Yeah.

Hmm... I like a good, quiet

bar.

Temperature's right,

the lighting is dark

and the drinks are cold.

It should be quiet and

soothing to be here.

You like my bar?

Everything's fine.

Your bartender really

knows how to not talk.

(LAUGHS)

- So, uh, Johnny tells me you...

- Let me tell you first,

I just got back from the

most wonderful fishing trip.

- Do you fish?

- No, sir.

Up in Michigan, fly fishing.

They have some nice

rivers up there.

You should consider taking it up.

It's a very relaxing past time.

Especially when you

get up in the years.

How old are you now, Mark?

- I'm 39.

- 39, huh?

That's a good enough

time to start.

Guy like you in

pretty good shape.

I'd say you're about 6

feet tall.

You need to be

around 190 pounds?

A little extra exercise might

help keep the pounds off.

Pretty soon your metabolism

will start slowing down.

Hell, that's what did me

in. (LAUGHS)

Yeah, it's a killer alright,

huh?

Yes, sir, it is.

You might try it.

- I might try that.

- It's a good time.

Um, gentlemen, will you

excuse me for just a moment?

My bladder's not

what it used to be.

(MUSIC)

Will you at least

play along, a**hole?

I'm doing you a f***ing favor here,

man.

- You know that?

- I am playing along.

You heard me say I

might try fishing.

I hate fish. It

tastes like fish!

Don't f*** this up!

This guy owns this

town, you know that?

God damn,

last time they tried to arrest him,

he ended up selling a

bunch of raffle tickets to

his grandkid's baseball game.

You haven't even seen

him on a good day.

He's got some health

issues and sh*t now.

(SIGH)

I have your bar tab,

if you'll come with me.

(FOOTSTEPS)

- Come on.

- How much?

Jesus,

you people always wanna know how much.

Think you can put a

price on freedom.

- Johnny, do the honors.

- OK.

Hey, who's gonna do the

hacking?

Nobody, unless he pays for it.

Now stand over there, in

front of the blue backdrop.

I can take care of it

if you want me to.

Take care of what?

Mr. Spunkmeyer can have

an excellent fake ID,

but if his prints still say

"Mr. Miller",

somewhere down the road, he

will step knee deep in sh*t.

(MUSIC)

So Laura, how old are you?

- I'm 18.

- 18, huh?

Are you sure you're 18?

Because we can't let you on

the site unless you are.

- I'm 18.

- Alright. Cool.

You guys want me

to make her 21?

Now there's a good idea.

Hey, listen, Laura, um,

we're sure you're 18,

but, um, while you're

here, you might as well

get yourself a fake ID for

when you go back home.

My man, Johnny here,

can fix you up with the right people.

And when you get that ID

and bring it back here

we're gonna photocopy

it for our records.

- Is that cool?

- Alright, cool.

This is so uncool.

I'm going for a walk.

So, how much can I make?

- Johnny?

- Oh, well...

That actually depends.

That is where the money is,

I mean everyone can use

a little extra cash,

right? Where's that shot?

As a courtesy among thieves,

you'll leave here with a

fake ID that'll work in any

liquor store you happen upon.

Peace of mind in a

worst-case scenario.

Though that is always the

most expensive option.

What say, Mr.

Spunkmeyer? Ten grand.

Ten grand? I don't

have ten grand.

Hey, Johnny tells me you're having

a little financial difficulty.

There's no secrets in this bar,

dude.

Hey, we have to look out for one another,

don't we?

"We ain't a we",

as a friend of mine was want to say.

Some friend.

Now I understand you're having

some trouble getting into

your bank account. Is that

right?

Yeah. It'll clear up.

As a matter of fact, let me use your phone,

I'll call them right now.

No. Not from my phone, you

won't. They'll trace you.

Come on, Ray, that's

a little thick.

Hush up, Johnny boy.

Somebody new wants

to do business, I make it a

point to do some research.

You are in a serious

bind, young man.

I know of at least one Senator

and one family that

are looking for you.

And I'd say by the

time they're done,

if you're still alive, you're

looking at two murders,

money laundering, and

mail fraud.

- What?

- Hey, you're safe for now.

The word I get is that

the situation

is about to get much

bigger than you.

So I imagine if you go

underground, not too many people

are going to be

interested in digging you up.

But you have to give

them the opportunity

to say that Mark Miller never

existed.

All people want is an easy

way to live with their lies.

- You couldn't know all this sh*t.

- It's my business to know.

By noon tomorrow, I can have

you a valid Missouri license,

plates, insurance, a

job history, a resume.

And in a month or two, I

can forward to the address

of your choice, a gas

and electric bill

from an address here, in

beautiful Kansas City.

Oh, and a Sears card.

You ever shop at Sears?

Pshh. The answer's

no. Sears? No.

The Social Security card

takes a little longer,

but that is included

in the peace of mind.

I already have your birth certificate

and some newspaper clippings

of the car wreck you

supposedly died in.

Car wreck?

Eric Spunkmeyer and his

family died in a car wreck

in Boise a number of years ago.

But the new reporter

was obviously mistaken.

So, your parents died,

but you did not.

Imagine the shock in her

face when it was discovered

you were actually in a

coma at County Hospital.

F***.

Spunkmeyer?

Did you have to

choose Spunkmeyer?

Do I look Jewish to you?

- You could be adopted.

- I am adopted.

- Yeah, see?

- Hey, we don't choose them.

They choose us. This

is an old trick,

but I have perfected it.

What do you want?

How would you like to

sell me your account

for some cash to get by on?

What do you mean,

sell you my account?

One aspect of this transaction

is that I will now own

the identity of Mark Miller.

Since I know I'm not going

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