Critters 3

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What?

- All the cops have wooden legs!

- They sure do!

- All right, hold on!

- What is it?!

Flat tire! Hold on!

Oh, man.

All right, I'm gonna find

a place to pull over.

Oh, man.

Excuse me.

Hey, I like this place.

Maybe we could build

some houses,

just like

"Gilligan's Island."

"Gilligan's Island"?

After all

that's happened, Annie,

what's wrong

with going home?

Dad...

- vacation was fine.

- Yeah, fine.

Let's face it, Annie,

it's just not the way

that it was.

Dad, Mom's been dead

for two years.

It's the way it is.

We have lift-off.

Honey, look, why don't you

just hit the cooler,

get yourself some pop?

But stay close,

'cause I want to fix

this tire

and get on home.

Hey, don't go

down there, kid.

There's all kinds

of wild animals and sh*t.

- Who do you belong to?

- Who do you belong to?

Hey! Hey, you!

Hands off!

Are you some kind

of a pervert or something?

Johnny, you know better.

You don't even know this guy.

I don't know you either, okay?

He almost

went over the edge.

There could be badgers

or something down there.

Throw it.

Come on, throw it.

Well, throw it.

Go back, come on.

Wow, bald and flat.

I feel for you, man.

Sometimes life really sucks,

doesn't it?

Looks like you just bought me

a tournament Frisbee, dude.

I can get it back.

No sweat.

Come on. What, are you guys

standing guard? Let's go.

Come on, guys, let's go

the other way, okay?

Johnny, come on.

Ah, ha!

I told you.

Was I right,

or was I right?

No playing here!

You kids oughta

know better than...

wait.

You hear it?

It could be anywhere

around here.

Above us, behind us,

or in the ground.

Do you think this is

some kind of joke?

You think this is

some kind of game?!

They're hungry.

All they do is eat.

You got to keep a weathered

eye out all the time!

If you don't watch

every minute... then wham!

Then it's too late.

Who are you?

Any of you ever hear

of a place called Grover's Bend?

It's a real town

with real people.

Now, in 1984...

I was riding my bicycle

and I looked up.

I saw this thing

in the sky.

Call the Army.

They're here!

- Who?

- Who?!

Them!

On Earth I was just

a big nobody.

Up in space I am

somebody.

Charlie bounty hunter.

Yeah, "Charlie

bounty hunter."

Dad's all torn up

and Mom's got

a harpoon thing in her neck,

and they're getting bigger.

You're not

from around here, are you?

I got to go where

the cosmic winds blow me.

I got to...

go where no man

has gone before.

I'm a bounty hunter!

Come on, you can't expect us

to believe this horseshit.

You can believe

what you want, son.

All I know is you got to get away

from here while you still can.

Well, there's something

I can agree with.

So walk away.

There you go.

Probably could've used that lug

wrench a little while longer.

Got it.

You should have had

your spare tire down here.

Could've saved you

some traveling.

Never know when you'll have

a flat tire on an antique like this.

Are you supposed

to be scary?

Me?

No.

It ain't me,

it's them.

I've seen them.

I've been

seeing them for...

Look, you believe

in monsters?

- Yeah.

- Good. Good.

That's what

I'm telling you about.

Now, some friends

of mine from...

a long way off,

they gave me

a whole bunch of these.

I only got

a couple left,

but I want you

to have one.

Now if this ever starts

to glow bright green,

that's the time

to watch out for yourself.

And your family.

- Green.

- That's right, green.

Annie! Johnny!

- All aboard!

- We really have to go now.

- Give my regards to Mars.

- Don't be so quick.

You're not as smart

as you think you are.

You can have the rest

of my root beer.

Thank you, partner.

It's my favorite.

Johnny, come on now.

Look what I found.

What is it?

I don't know. It looks

like a big electric bullet.

Homemade.

He dropped it.

Joshua!

Front and center, now.

- Joshua?

- Josh, please.

- Is that your father?

- Stepfather.

Never, never will we trust you

out of our sight again.

When I say five minutes,

I don't mean seven,

I don't mean three.

Discipline from now on,

young man. Hmm?

I will not

and your mother will not...

spare anymore rods.

Is he going

to get spanked?

I don't think his mom

is going to let that happen.

Well, Big John, I guess

we had some adventure, huh?!

Dad!

Dad, you should

have seen it!

- There was this strange guy...

- I really don't care.

I told you two to stay close,

didn't I?

Look at the two of you...

you're filthy.

- Johnny, get in the truck.

- I know, Dad,

but he came out of the ground

and scared the crap out of us.

He scared the crap

out of us.

Miss Sawyer...

can we please watch

our language around Johnny?

Sh*t.

Look, honey, I just don't know

what to say to you.

You could say that you're not

going on the road tomorrow.

You could say that I'm not

old enough to take care of myself.

Honey, you're not

being fair.

Mr. and Mrs. Menges take

real good care of you guys.

They're like family.

Hey...

it's the best

that I can do.

Besides, you're

a young woman now.

Maybe I don't want

to be a young woman now.

Grover's Bend?

What a crock.

You're listening

to Topeka's

number one country radio station...

Country 107, KTPK.

Hey, Frank,

give me a hand with some

of this stuff, man.

Absolutely, Mario.

I am the handyman

after all.

- You a**hole.

- I heard that.

Vaya con Dios, Mario.

Four more units

to vacate, Jessie,

and I'm a rich man.

Hey, you got

the elevator fixed.

Frankie.

Hey, not for you, Rosie.

There's still

a one-ton load limit.

Ooh, you...

Yo, yo, yo.

Check your weapons at the door,

it's the chick

that walks like a man.

Dating outside

our species now, huh?

Oh, very funny.

Very, very funny.

I wasn't talking

to you, Frank.

Yo, Marcia,

I got a little

phone problem.

Maybe you can come down to the

basement and check my equipment?

Sorry, Frank,

I left my microscope upstairs.

Ho-ho! Ho!

She's killing me.

Hey, Mario.

I sure am sorry to see

you go, my friend.

I just killed two rats

this morning.

Rats?!

Hey, Frank... rats.

Hey, don't look at me.

I got to see them

to "e-rat-icate" them.

Yo, Jessie,

look who's home.

Something's wrong.

No brakes!

No brakes!

Hold onto Johnny.

Everybody all right?

Yeah.

Safe at home.

Oh, man.

I'm sorry, Mario.

No brakes.

Something I can do?

That's okay.

Is everybody okay?

So, Frank,

you going to give us

a hand with this?

No.

I'm the maintenance man.

He doesn't live here

anymore.

Love you, Jessie.

I'll be in my office.

Listen, would you

clean up this junk?

The guy's a waste

of protein.

Yeah, but what

a snappy dresser.

Dad, I'm gonna go say hello

to the Menges.

Yeah, but don't go up

empty handed.

You take something with,

all right?

Ladies.

Java.

F***. Wh...?

What's this?

Oh, that's disgusting.

Yeah, you're next, pal.

Hey, girl.

Going down to help Dad?

I thought I might.

I mean, we got ourselves

a loaded truck,

an unloaded camper,

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