Critters

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Radar Control,

this is Prison Transport 9961

requesting permission to land.

Over.

We've been expecting you,

PT 9961.

Please confirm payload.

Over.

Crite prisoners...

eight of them. Over.

There seems to be

a problem, PT 9961.

My advance notice cube

states there should be

Please explain. Over.

We did have 10

at one time,

but the Crites were

eating everything in sight.

We had to kill two of them

to make the food last longer. Over.

Roger, PT 9961.

You're cleared for landing

in docking bay B.

Send Crite prisoners

through detox and immunization.

Put them in the termination lock

as soon as you land.

Shock control will be

standing by. Over.

Roger, Radar Control.

This is Warden Zanti.

Get Shock Control over

to the termination lock.

The Crites are

up to something.

Explosion in termination lock.

Damage report.

Two dead

and three wounded, sir.

- Escapes?

- The Crites. All eight of them.

The Crites have stolen a ship!

Damn.

Get the bounty hunters.

I have a job for you.

They've stolen

one of our fastest ships,

with enough fuel to cross

the galaxy 10 times over.

So fuel is

not their concern.

However, you must stop them

before they can feed.

You will receive

full payment, as usual,

only upon evidence

of their destruction.

Brad, April, breakfast!

Brad, I need

to get in there!

Come on, you little snot,

I'm in a hurry!

Mom, Brad won't let me

in the bathroom!

Hello?

Yeah, hold on.

April, telephone!

Brad, you're

a real jerk!

Mom, Brad's hogging

the bathroom.

Two minutes.

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Jay, breakfast!

Helen, was that

Charlie calling?

No, it was Steve.

Steve?

Yeah?

Happy birthday!

Yeah?

What'd you get?

- No!

- Hey.

Steve who?

The new boy at school.

Whatever happened

to what's-his-name?

- Richard?

- I'm a terrible guesser.

Yeah, Richard.

I thought he was

the love of her life.

Try and keep up,

will ya?

You got to keep me informed.

Did you wash my bowling shirt?

Yes, it'll be ready

for the tournament. Go eat.

Brad, get Chewie

off the table.

I can't wait!

Have you seen

Charlie this morning, Brad?

Bye.

Thanks.

So who is this Steve?

The dork from New York.

Shut up.

You're such a baby.

What happened

to Richard?

All Richard cared about

was hog farms.

So?

My Dad farmed hogs.

Dad!

Brad, what are you

sitting at the table

with a thermometer

in your mouth for?

I'm not feeling

very good.

I'll bet.

- You look okay.

- 106?

Did you tell Mom about your

big geometry test you have today?

Shut up.

Just shut up!

You have

a test today, Brad?

- You're a real shithead.

- Bradley!

Boy, I'm going

to wash your mouth out.

Maybe you'll do as well on this

as you did on your last one.

What last test?

Bye.

Mmmmm.

Brad!

Come on, April,

we're running late!

Get yourself ready

for school, boy.

Dad.

You miss that bus

I'm going to skin you

and hang your bones

out to dry.

"Thank you for the lovely breakfast

you prepared, Mother."

Wonder what happened

to Charlie?

Morning, Harv.

Morning, Sal.

What's happening?

This here says

that John Travolta

used to be a waitress

in Fort Myers, Florida.

What's happening

here, Sal?

Big bowling tournament

tonight.

And Charlie, he's sleeping

it off in the back.

Be nice, Harv.

He don't mean no harm.

They're coming!

They're coming, Harv.

Yeah. I'm getting them through

my fillings, just like last time.

Cut the crap, Charlie.

Listen.

Jeez.

They're the same ones

that ruined my pitching career.

You ever consider slowing down

on the whiskey, Charlie?

It ain't the whiskey.

Sal.

Sal, you remember, right?

I was a prospect, huh?

I wasn't drinking then, was I?

Sure, Charlie, sure.

You were Major League material.

Right.

I had heat.

Then I started

getting these messages...

This is Patrol GXP 1198

calling Alpha Tango Delta.

Come in.

- Over.

- Do you hear that?

Charlie, it's Jeff.

I'm on Route 22.

Come on, lover, pick it up.

- Cut the horseshit, Jeff.

- Ooh, sorry, Harv.

- I didn't know you were in.

- What do you need?

Just signing off

for the night.

So sign off, already.

Uh, Charlie...

why don't you just

go on out to Jay and Helen's?

You don't want

to get fired now.

Oh no.

No, I like my job.

You just forget about

that Martian stuff, okay?

Forget about that.

Yeah, right.

This town's a zoo.

Prepare for holographic

transmission.

In my haste

to get you on your way,

there were a couple of things

I neglected to inform you of.

We are tracing the Crites

to a solar system

where only one planet

supports life... Earth.

Your ship database will contain

adequate information

on the culture

of the planet.

Your transformation

capabilities

should come in

quite handy there.

I trust, however, you will be

less destructive this time,

considering you nearly

destroyed half...

Earth is a culture

of many contrasts.

Their technological

advances have been...

Bring him down,

bring him down!

Okay.

Okay, I'm ready

for that carburetor, Charlie.

Charlie!

Give me the carburetor!

It's 5:
16 at KEAT.

K-Eat in Kansas City.

Okay, 1948.

A Missouri housewife is kidnapped

by six little men with orange heads

on her way to the laundromat.

All right!

Whoo!

What the hell

was that?

Did you see that?

That was the best one we ever did!

Yeah, that was...

that was real good.

Homemade.

Best in the state.

Charlie,

you broke my slingshot.

It's... I can fix this.

I can fix this.

You just go get

a tin can.

Anyway, like I was saying,

this housewife...

What housewife?

I thought I told you to get rid

of them fireworks?

- You like working here, Charlie?

- Yes, sir.

I've been waiting

on that carburetor.

You've got to try and concentrate

on what you're doing, okay?

- I'm gonna.

- I got a lot to do today,

so try to keep up.

- Dad, I asked if he could...

- Give me those.

These are not toys.

I want to try to get this thing

fired up before dark.

Now what?

Sorry, Charlie.

That don't feel right.

- Hi, Daddy.

- Hey, girl.

Daddy, this is Steve Elliot.

I asked him to stay for dinner.

I hope it's okay.

Mom said it was okay.

- Nice to meet you, Mr. Brown.

- Expensive little toy.

Steve's dad just gave it

to him for his birthday.

It's the greatest,

isn't it?

Don't look like you're going

to haul much hay in it.

No...

Let me... let me

just test it out.

Careful, Charlie.

Charlie.

Bradley Brown,

I'm going to kill you.

You get back here!

Brad, I'm going

to kill you!

Come here,

you little snot.

- April!

- He shot me with a slingshot!

- I did not!

- Liar!

- April!

- Liar!

Hold it, hold it!

Boy, did you shoot your sister

with that slingshot?

I think I'll stand

on the fifth amendment.

This is not a democracy.

Did you or didn't you?

Yeah, I guess I did.

You know better

than that, boy.

Go to your room.

- And no supper.

- Oh, Jay.

Helen.

At least you like me.

She's all set to go,

Mr. Brown.

Okay, Charlie.

See you in the morning.

This is a great meal,

Mrs. Brown.

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