Crooked House Page #6

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Hot-blooded.

Cold-blooded.

They do share one or two traits.

Vanity.

A distorted morality.

A lack of empathy.

And murderers tend to feel

that they are above

the rules and laws

that govern ordinary mortals.

Heh. Well,

that description

fits every member

of this family.

I don't envy you your job.

Nonsense, it's the easiest job

in the world. Open and shut.

I shall go to my room now.

It's good of you

to have come at all.

Considering you couldn't show up

at his funeral.

I wouldn't have been able

to stand it.

You heard the weather forecast,

you mean?

None of us enjoy funerals,

but you could at least pretend.

After all you're getting

all our money.

What kind of spell did you put

on that poor, poor sweetie pie?

Aristide always loved dancers.

You know that.

You weren't a dancer.

You were a girl on a stage

in a bikini.

Which doesn't explain

why he didn't sign his will.

I've said all I have to say

to Mr. Hayward.

Surely we don't need a pi

in the house

for us all to tell each other

the truth.

Oh, Magda. Isn't that a line

from the last of Mrs. Cheyney?

No, it's not.

But if you must know,

it's from a thriller

I did at Frinton.

I rest my case.

Admit it, Brenda.

You'd rather be with Laurence.

Are you two in this together?

Of course they are.

I hope all this money

won't put a strain

on your principles,

Mr. brown.

Brenda has her very own red

under the bed.

Is that where you keep him?

You don't know me.

None of you do.

Oh, I think we do.

At least we know your type.

Oh, dear,

mommy's in wrecking mode.

I didn't murder him.

I miss him.

And any one of you could have

wished him out of the way.

What on earth do you mean?

The film script.

The reason he didn't back

the film script, I'm quite sure,

is because he knew

it would be a triumph

and lead to our independence.

Right.

He didn't even read it.

What?

I did.

So it's all your fault.

No. I actually said

it was pretty good.

But he said

he'd toss a coin for it,

as there were no dice.

And he asked me to call.

And you lost.

And he said

it was poetic justice.

You see now why I didn't want

you involved with my family?

Come on, Sophia. There's nothing

like a real heart-to-heart.

Assuming one could find

any real hearts under this roof.

That's the point.

Unlike all of you,

I actually made him happy.

That's why he gave me

all the money.

Well...

I'm sorry to interrupt

this oh-so-sweet family reunion,

but now I have something to say.

Josephine could be right.

It is a fun evening after all.

Not especially.

Roger and I are leaving...

For good.

Anywhere nice?

Barbados.

Plenty of toxic plants

for clemency.

We intend to create,

fund and manage an orphanage.

Oh. Some people

have all the luck.

I'd have thought

any need you had for children

was fully satisfied by Roger.

Don't you ever get tired

of sounding superior?

Ruin the family business

and bugger off to Barbados.

How very like my brother.

Better than losing everything

playing baccarat on the riviera.

Poor Roger.

Who has no idea

how fun life can be.

He chose me.

Yes.

And every single day,

I wonder why.

But I never asked him...

To love me more

than he loved you.

Yes, Eustace?

I have a question for Sophia.

Did Mr. Hayward screw you

in Cairo?

Oh, no,

it's just he seemed unsure

when I asked him.

Don't be vulgar, Eustace.

Oh. That's quite a sense

of the dramatic.

Can you explain

what relevance that has

to our discussion,

my darling boy?

It is actually very relevant.

What if she's the killer?

And they're in it together.

You see?

They're coming after you now.

These people.

They bring out all the evil.

Oh, Charles.

I'm so frightened.

What will happen next?

The press,

will they be dreadful?

Don't give any interviews.

You ought to get yourself

a lawyer

to tell you what to do

and what to say

and what not to do

and what not--

I need someone like you,

Charles.

Just hold tight.

Keep quiet,

and it will be all right.

Do you really think so?

So she got to you.

I knew she would.

Sophia, wait.

Sophia, stop. Sophia.

You're just like

the rest of them.

Take her to bed

and be done with it.

No. Stop it.

I can see her side of it,

that's all.

Oh, what a high moral tone

you're taking.

I have to give it to her.

She's got a special gift

for dividing people.

Now she's dividing us.

What are you talking about?

Brenda hasn't divided us.

You walked away from me

in Cairo.

Heh. Yes.

And did you ever

ask yourself why?

Please.

Go away, Charles! You're fired.

You won't be able to fire

the police.

Sophia!

Oh, it's you.

I thought you were someone else.

What are you doing?

Same as you. Detecting.

Up here?

I must go.

Wait.

Josephine!

Sensationalist tosh.

You've been in the wars.

Well, your husband's dogs and I

had a little cuddle last night.

Suits you.

You all right?

We weren't always like this,

you know,

my husband and I.

We used to be the most glamorous

couple in London.

They put our pictures

in all the magazines.

People looked up to us.

I wonder what happened.

You know, Charles,

they're trained combat dogs.

They could kill you

in an instant

if they really wanted to.

Meaning?

Like the rest of us,

they like you.

The man from the garage

has arrived

to mend your car,

Mr. Hayward.

Right.

Oh, these reporters

are relentless.

Starter cable. It's missing.

Right, well...

We can keep this between us.

Charles, there's a call for you.

Chief Inspector Taverner

from Scotland yard.

I had pneumonia.

Is that a crime?

We are just trying to establish

the facts, Mr. Agrodopolous.

Were you unaware

Mr. Leonides was dead?

Until I see the papers, yes.

You think my son should read out

the death columns to me

every day in the hospital?

Heh.

How did you know

Mr. Leonides?

He helped me

when I first arrived in London.

Why?

We Greeks stick together.

That is why.

Look, I don't know nothing.

He gave me the envelope.

When he dies,

I take it to gaitskill.

And you never opened it?

The envelope was closed

with an unbroken seal.

Do you know the lawyers

who drew up this new will?

Not personally, but I'm aware

that Mr. Leonides used them

for the other side

of his affairs.

And you remain the executor.

Yes, but without enthusiasm.

He settled a small sum

on the widow.

The rest of the estate goes

to a single beneficiary.

The granddaughter, Sophia.

Yes?

There's been a call

from the Leonides house.

Yes?

Someone's tried to kill

the little girl.

My god.

The rope was cut

half-through.

- Who found her?

- I did.

My father went with her

in the ambulance.

Does she remember anything?

She was unconscious.

She must have fallen

from the very top.

My poor cherub.

Mother, if you want to go there,

I can drive you.

Well, there's no great rush, no.

Philip says they're doing

everything they can.

Oh, if you want to make

your mother happy,

I wouldn't say no

to a gin and it.

You were the one up there

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