Crooklyn Page #2

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- Get up! Get up now!

- What time is it?

It's 4:
00. Get up.

Get your butt in there.

- It's not fair...

- You get in there and

do what I told you to do!

Hey, you! Get up!

All you little peanuts at attention!

Get up, boy! Now!

Hey, little one. Everybody up.

Get your butt out of that...

- Mutley, everybody!

I'm sick of this sh*t!

- I don't wanna get up, Mommy.

[All Shouting, Chattering]

Hey! Wendell. Wendell!

Don't play with me, boy.

- Get up now! Get your...

- Stop it!

You'll get your butt up...

Get up now!

What did I tell you to do?

What did I say at the table?

- Get, get downstairs.

- Daddy...

Your daddy?

Your daddy ain't here. Get up.

Can't we do it

in the morning?

Everybody, up against the wall.

From now on, everybody's gonna

start pullin' their weight.

Do you understand me?

- Why you actin' so crazy?

- You make me crazy!

- Boy, I'll slap the black off you.

This is no hotel!

- You ain't slappin' me.

I will slap...

I'll knock them teeth into tomorrow.

You're gonna start cookin' too.

Get downstairs now. Go!

Get outta my face.

Get outta my face right now!

- Shh! And do not wake your father!

- You're waking everybody up.

Shh! You know why

I'm screaming, don't you?

- All because...

- No, child, I am not crazy.

You are gonna be crazy once

I beat your brains outta your head.

- My brains?

- You ain't beatin'

my brains outta my head.

I'm crazy 'cause I got five of y'all

that have run me stark raving mad!

- This ain't no plantation!

- I know it ain't!

- I'm not a slave!

- Nobody said you was.

And I'll tell you one damn thing:

I certainly am not a plaything.

- You understand me?

- What am I supposed to do?

You're supposed to have

done what I told you.

Mommy, Clinton only washes

one plate and one fork and one knife.

- Shut up, heifer!

- Don't be a tattletale.

Don't call her a heifer. Clinton, you

are gonna wash every fork, plate, spoon,

pot, pan, our drawers,

Mutley for a month.

What about Wendell and Nate?

They never do nothin'.

Yes, I do!

I empty the garbage!

You worry about your own shiftless self.

You get busy!

- Mommy, I'm hungry.

- That's too bad.

The kitchen is closed.

You should've ate more than three peas.

- [Nate And Wendell]

"I ate three peas."

- Shut up.

Clinton. What kind of example

are you setting, being the oldest?

- Can you hear me?

- Yes.

You are so immature!

- I hate doing...

- When you finish mashing peas

into the floor, mop.

- I'd rather have a father

than a mother any day.

- Yeah, any day.

What'd you say?

What did you say?

- He said, "I'd rather have

a father than a mother any day."

- Dang!

Take your father! Take your father!

Let's see how your hungry asses eat!

I'm not playin'.

Come here.

[Mom] Mornin', ladybug.

- How are you today?

- Fine.

- How are you?

- I'm good.

- Are you gonna eat some breakfast?

- No, thank you.

Troy, I was wonderin'.

How would you like to go down

and spend a few weeks...

with Cousin Viola in Virginia

after school's out?

Aunt Song and Uncle Clem

asked if you'd like to come.

- No, thank you.

- What are you gonna do this summer?

- I don't know.

- I'm teachin' summer school.

You can't be runnin' up and down the

street after your brothers all day long.

Would I miss my birthday?

You would spend it with them.

That would be good.

That would be great.

Would you please eat some breakfast?

I have to go to work.

[Snagglepuss On Television]

Heavens to Mergatroid.

Exit for child welfare

stage right.

Don't you know better than

to stand under a loose boulder?

Heavens to vegetables.

I've been squashed.

The question is, how does

one baby-sit a western-type baby?

- Can I have some Trix?

- Nope.

- Please.

- I said no, you idiot!

- That's a bet. I'm tellin' Mommy.

...to be a Western TV star.

Mommy! Troy's eating

a whole box of Trix by herself.

And she won't share any with me!

Our fence-mender,

cowboy hero...

Mommy's not here,

you silly, stupid rabbit.

- Stupid.

- I'm a low-down, mangy

polecat coyote of a wild steer...

- Get out!

- Whom you lassoed.

- Do you get the picture?

- [Cartoon Character]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exit stampedin' all the way.

Stage left.

Oh! Wendell!

Look at your eyes poppin' out

of your head. What are you doin'?

[Laughing]

You better stop hittin' people.

# I'm your mother, I'm your daddy

I'm that n*gger in the alley #

- # I'm your doctor when you need... #

- Gimme that, Snuff.

You know we stole this tube together.

You better share that.

- Come on, come on. Here, take this.

- # I'm your Pusherman #

# I'm your Pusherman ##

- Ahh, yeah.

- Ahh.

My best friend, babe.

- Nice glue.

- All right.

- For the brothers who ain't here.

- Yeah, drain it out, baby.

- Ahh.

- All right.

- Gimme some. Give it here.

- Take some. Take that.

Ah, yeah!

[Singing With Record]

# If I could #

# I'd like to be #

# A great big movie star #

# Overnight sensation #

# Drive a big expensive car #

Stop throwing bottles there!

We always get blamed for it.

He should clean up

his stinkin' house, man.

- Hey! Hey! You stinkin' f*ggot!

- Shut up. My mother'll hear you.

Clean up after

your friggin' dogs, man!

- It ain't funny.

- You Chinese-Puerto Rican Chink Spic.

You friggin' chocolate

black n*gger moreno.

- What you say that?

- Why you let him talk

about me like that?

- I never said nothin' bad

about your mom.

- Your mama.

- Play your music.

- Forget it. I'm getting all emotional.

I can't sing now.

- You can't sing anyway.

- [Laughter]

Hey, it's Vic!

Look at him.

- Clinton.

- Aw, my man Vic!

- Hey, Vic. How you doin', Vic?

- Tommy La La.

I'm all right.

Like that 'do.

- Your mama know you out here?

- Yeah.

- Vic. Ouch!

- What's up, Vic?

- How you feelin', kid?

All right, blood.

- All right. And you?

- Vic. My number one soul brother.

- All right, all right.

[Guys Chattering]

- Great God!

- Later, Vic.

- Bye, Vic.

- That's the bigs.

- [Laughs] It look funny.

- It looks stupid.

- So? Look at yours.

- At least mine don't

look all funny like yours.

At least mine isn't standing

on my head sticking straight out

looking all like Topsy.

I don't know who Topsy is, but

it looks stupid, and I can't stand it.

- I can't stand you either.

- Why don't you sit down

with your ol' black self?

- I'm black and I'm proud.

- She got good hair.

- She got "Peter" Rican hair.

- Ay, dejame. Stop touching me, ugly.

Don't be callin' my sister ugly

'cause I'll slap you into next week.

You're not gonna slap

nobody into next week, stupid.

- Minnie, get off my stoop.

You think you're so pretty.

- You think you're so cute.

So? Later for you.

You think you so cute.

- Who wants to jump rope?

- I do.

- [Girls Chattering]

- We playin' "all."

Brenda and Cathy, y'all turnin'.

- You always tell us what to do.

- I'm older. Now don't

give me no lip. Let's go.

Minnie and Troy, get in the middle.

Y'all can't jump big.

- Yes, we can...

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