Cry-Baby Page #2

Can't believe it.

(woman) How disgusting.

Girls who wear tight slacks.

Hysterectomy pants, I call them.

[All murmuring]

And if one of these creatures

ever approach you on the street,

you are to silently repeat to yourself

the four "B's" you

learned here at RSVP.

And what are they,

children, the four "B's"?

(all) Beauty, brains,

breeding, bounty!

[Audience applauding] Yes! Yes!

Teenagers everywhere, repent!

Let Jesus Christ be your gang leader!

Get out of Turkey Point

before it's too late.

Oh, take it easy, honey.

I'm not getting any

younger here, you know.

Oh!

That is what I call a real great shape.

Knockers up, sweetheart.

Oh. Here it is! Beautiful.

All right, here you go, honey pot.

Thanks for the picture.

Mmm.

All right, who's up?

Toe-Joe Jackson's art

photography right here!

Be a nudie-cutie, make

good money to bootie.

Hey, I'm paying $3 a shot.

You got it, what the hell,

why not show it, right?

Hey, you.

Yeah, you, the looker

with the class-A

sealed-beam headlights.

You want to pose for Toe-Joe?

Beat it, creep.

Here he comes now,

with that devil woman.

Hi, Mrs. Hackett.

Imagine our shame.

Our only child, and he

carries illegal weapons,

drives fast cars,

and wears clothes obviously

designed by homosexuals.

But he knows better.

Jesus is still in his heart.

Jeez, Mom and Dad, go home.

You're embarrassing me.

I'm a teenager. I want to live.

##[Music playing]

Hey!

Looks like somebody lost their laundry.

Hello, Cry-Baby.

You scorch me, man.

Later, Lenora.

But, Cry-Baby, I need a date

for tonight's Jukebox Jamboree.

Well, I'm solo, sugar.

Want to see these

gunboats? I give, Cry-Baby.

I give bare second on the first date.

Use your mentality and cool down.

Well, Lenora, your bosoms ain't nothing.

Better watch it, bozo.

You might catch a cold.

My brother wouldn't touch your

titties with a 10-foot pole.

He likes his women

bad, Lenora, not cheap.

##[Scatting]

# Oh, life could be a dream #

# If I could take you

up in paradise up above #

# If you would tell me I'm

the only one that you love #

[girls chattering] # Life

could be a dream, sweetheart #

# Hello hello again, sh-boom,

and hopin' we'll meet again #

# Oh, life could be a dream #

# If only all my precious plans #

# Would come true #

# If you would let me spend

my whole life lovin' you #

# Life could be a dream #

# Sweetheart #

# Sh-boom

sh-boom #

# Ya-da-da Da-da-da

Da-da-da Da #

# Sh-boom

sh-boom #

# Ya-da-da Da-da-da

Da-da-da Da #

# Sh-boom

sh-boom #

# Ya-da-da Da-da-da

Da-da-da Da, sh-boom #

[girls squealing]

# Now every time, I look at you #

# Something is on my mind #

# If you do what I want you to do #

# Baby, we'd be so fine #

# Oh, life could be a dream #

# If I could take you

up in paradise up above #

# If you would tell me I'm

the only one that you love #

# Life could be a dream, sweetheart #

# Hello hello again, sh-boom

and hopin' we'll meet again #

# Sh-boom

sh-boom #

# Life could be a dream, sweetheart ##

[audience applauding]

Uncle Belvedere!

Wow!

You caught me in my birthday suit,

butt-naked.

Grandma, we're home!

How much?

(Ramona) That muffler?

Dupree, for you

$15, take it or leave it.

Come on, Ramona.

$10. This thing's hotter than a pistol.

You guys wanna do business

with Ramona Rickettes

or would you rather shop at Sears?

Now, give me the bread

and keep your trap shut.

You're a hard woman.

I'm going to see you in hell, Dupree.

[Laughing] Go on, get out of here.

[Kids chattering]

Have you been bothering

your great-grandma all day?

She has customers.

Hell, no. They helped me steal a car.

It's a '51 Olds.

It's really cool.

That's my little Snare-Drum.

And, Ma, I swiped six

hubcaps like a big girl.

Way to go, Susie-Q.

Make those monster

faces, Hatchet. Please.

[Howling]

[Children screaming]

Goddamn gopher's

digging up my front yard.

What are you teenagers waiting for?

Turkey Point is open for business!

Let's celebrate!

[All cheering]

Come on. Come on, everybody. Come on in.

Today's a special day for

me and your grandmother.

We've been together 10 whole years.

[All whooping]

I'm just so proud of

all my Drape children.

Oh, Wanda, you sure is

pretty in them tight clothes

all painted up like trash.

I wish you and Belvedere

were my parents.

Oh.

Now, Milton,

boy, you are everything a man should be.

You're young, stupid, and mean.

We're gonna play some cool

music for you tonight, Ramona.

And, Hatchet-Face. Oh, honey.

You're just like me.

Now, you put the "T" in "tough."

So hard, you could've been

eating nails for breakfast.

But that's the way a

woman's got to be these days.

I'd kick a Square's ass for

you in a minute, Mrs. Rickettes.

Oh, this is the best gang

my grandson could ever have.

Grandma, I'm so happy all knocked up

I wish I was having triplets.

Well, we got a little surprise

for your young one in your oven.

You show her, Bel.

Sure will.

(Cry-Baby) Oh, Pep, ain't that cute?

It's beautiful, Grandma.

Cry-Baby.

When you was a boy, you had

to be the man of this family.

But I taught you how to dress, didn't I?

You sure did, Uncle Belvedere.

Yeah, well, you're the future now, boy.

You're the only future for

this godforsaken family.

And I want you to go out

there tonight and sing, boy.

I want you to sing your heart out.

You can show him now, Belvedere.

This took a lot of hubcaps, Cry-Baby.

[Gasping]

[All cheering]

Grandmother, Uncle Belvedere,

you've made me the happiest

juvenile delinquent in Baltimore.

And guess what?

[Motorcycle engine rumbling]

I met a girl!

# My friends all know it #

# How I adore him #

# I've whispered to angels #

# What I'd do for him #

# He is the answer #

# To a teenage prayer #

# He won't go steady #

# The crowd has told me #

# But I keep waiting #

# To have him hold me #

# Why won't you listen #

# To a teenage prayer #

# I wait by the window at seven #

# and chill when my thrill passes by #

# His kiss could send me to heaven #

# Into his arms I would fly #

##[My Heart Goes by Nappy Brown playing]

# My heart goes #

# Piddily patter,

patter piddily patter #

# Every time I look at you ##

(Allison) # My girlfriend, Betty #

# Tells me, he's lazy #

# But I know Betty #

# Loves him like crazy #

# He is the answer #

# To a teenage prayer #

# Yes, he's the answer ##

[siren alarm blaring]

All right, girls. What this is,

this is unfortunately a red alert.

So please take your duck-and-cover

positions immediately.

It is only an air-raid drill.

There are no atom bombs

actually being dropped.

You were incredible, honey.

Where did you learn to sing like that?

Just practicing.

Baldwin.

[Siren alarm recedes]

All right, boys and girls.

[Sighs] That's the all-clear signal.

You can come out now.

Everyone is safe and sound.

[Motorcycle engine idling]

[All gasping]

Stay in your places.

[People chattering]

Get back to your room.

Rate this script:2.3 / 3 votes