Cut Bank Page #2

I can't imagine.

Testosterone, I speculate.

I seen Derby Milton.

Derby Milton?

I didn't know he was still here.

Outside of the post office.

Stopping the mail chases

even the recluses out of the woodwork.

And let's rustle up a list

of the biggest men in the county.

Get a chance and call Mrs. Margaret.

She's been askin' on the progress

of the case all day.

Yeah. And call Mrs. Margaret.

Can't believe it happened on our spot.

Well, not much of a spot.

So you're really getting all that money?

Postal inspector's coming

from the nation's capital to give it to me.

Wow. How much?

A lifetime sum.

Sh*t.

I signed up for the Miss Cut

Bank pageant.

- Right.

- Hey! I'm gonna win it.

And we're gonna need those $5,000

to make our new life in Butte.

- Butte?

- Yeah!

Don't sell yourself short, hummingbird.

The money I'm getting,

we're moving to California.

- California?

- Yeah. I'll start my own body shop.

Ain't like startin' a business

is easy, dummy.

Hey, I'm good for it. May not know

how they do in the city yet,

but I sure as hell know how to fix cars.

You want me workin' for your daddy

the rest of our lives?

No way.

You know I'll take care of you.

And do whatever it takes.

Yeah.

- I'm proud of you.

- I know.

Me and Miss Cut Bank, chasin' it.

You know my lot out there by the fill bins?

The old junk heap I keep for spare parts?

- Yes, sir.

- I'm sellin' it off to Marty Corcoran.

If I may, sir,

that place is a gold mine.

Neither me or you or Match or none

of us has been out there in years

for it to be worth the taxes I cough up.

Marty's priced it at a mean dollar.

Way more than it oughta get.

So I'm promoting you out there to forage

for the parts that we can clean up

and use it to shop till the deal's done.

So where the hell was Match today?

You know how unreliable Match is.

Well, you gotta learn to take responsibility

for your colleagues.

It's the first lesson of leadership.

What in f***in' hell are you up to here?

Dwayne! I just had a heart attack.

- I thought you were the God-forbid.

- I am the God-forbid.

Big Stan's turning his head

to make a dollar off the lot.

He's gonna be passin' by

with Marty Corcoran.

And here you are off in the land of nod

with the jazzy playin'

and beer cans all about.

You gotta be the most fat-headed ass.

Whitefish Marty Corcoran? Huge prick.

What the f*** you doin'

loading live rounds?

Protection.

Could you please not point

my own goddamn hand cannon at me?

I have heart problems, Dwayne.

Big Stan's got me foragin'

for parts in the mean.

Well, that's consolation.

We can play us off okay.

That ain't any consolation, Georgie.

That's a f***in' monkey wrench

grabbin' ahold of my innards.

You gotta be on point.

Lock the damn gate. Stick to the plan.

Can we take a breath here? Just relax.

My plan, my rules.

You're not gonna f*** this up, Georgie.

Fair enough.

Did you see Mrs. Margaret?

- Yeah.

- And?

- Postal inspector should be here any day.

- That's good.

That gives us a week, tops.

I need you to relax.

Match did not torch the mail.

It's... I know.

It's still in the garage.

I can't do it. I need to be seen workin'.

That's on you, mailman. You're dead.

But you're alive,

and I can't afford to be seen

not dead. So you do it.

God to honest, Georgie.

You keep this place tidy.

No beer cans. No lights.

Am I still the only one

with the number to your prepaid?

Great.

I'll call you if whatever.

Hello. They got me in from Shelby

runnin' the routes.

Sure you ain't got a parcel for me?

Yep. Nothin'.

Good mornin', Mimi.

Give me five bills on Tom's Creek

within the spread.

And tell me how Lester's kid's

been pitching.

There's a postal inspector

from the capital here to visit with you.

Nation's capital? What's that?

A list of the county's largest men.

- Jesus Christ! Thirty-five already?

- Did he just take the Lord's name?

Depends on how fat he is.

I mean, really fat?

Really?

Really?

It's like baby Babe Ruth

kind of a thing?

Well, then I want a grand

on Lester's team.

What do you think this is,

arts and crafts?

It's Little League baseball, Oly.

Tell him to sack up!

So, I was told that this is

the coldest town in the nation,

and yet I'm sweating

like a whore in church.

Temperature moderates in summer.

- Have you had lunch yet?

- Forgot it again at home.

What is the best steakhouse you got?

I need a beer.

- There you go, fellas.

- Thank you, darlin'.

For you, and for you.

Yes. Thank you, darling.

United States Postal Inspector

Joe Barret. It's a pleasure.

Oh. It's a pleasure to meet ya.

Okay. Enjoy, Sheriff Vogel,

Inspector Joe.

Appreciate understated establishments.

Best meals always found

in the unlikeliest of places, right?

Best f***in' steak I ever had?

This one.

Harvey's known to be a grill master.

I hear right, you're competin'

in this year's Miss Cut Bank pageant?

Bet you didn't know I was Miss Cut Bank.

Yep.

What?

And I'm telling you this 'cause...

well, between you and me,

you got real good chances of winnin'.

Yeah?

Be one of the most important days

you'll ever live.

Speaking of which,

I got this thing back home.

In our nation's capital?

Bethesda. It's the neighbor town.

Anyway, this thing...

- Do you have kids, Sheriff Vogel?

- No, sir.

Well...

Please. You're the sheriff,

I'm the inspector. We're two of the same.

You call me Joe, I call you...

Sheriff Vogel.

- That a first and last name?

- Just my name.

- Have I offended you somehow, Sheriff?

- No, sir... Joe.

If I seem wooden, it's only because

I'm havin' a little trouble

understanding what your purpose

is here, Joe.

I got a town full of concerned citizens

and a puzzle of a case that needs fittin'

the pieces together.

So, you know, I got big-time duties

I got to get back to.

I'll be brief.

I got this engagement back home top

of the week. Once-in-a-year kind of a thing.

- Sounds pressing.

- Indeed.

Service heard there's a videotape of one

of their employees getting murdered,

sent me out here to pass along

a large reward to the creator of said video.

My hope is that you and I

work together expeditiously,

get this deal done, so we can all get back

to our pressing matters. What sayest?

Reasonable man. I do like you,

Sheriff Vogel. Really, I do.

- Have you seen the video?

- Yes, sir... Joe.

Does your mailman get murdered in it?

Evidence for a court.

All I need is to see the mailman's

dead body, and we are set.

I'm at the Glacier Gateway Inn,

and this has been a pleasure.

Excuse me, Mr. Match.

We were wonderin' if you can be "it."

He's counting!

Say. Ain't you Derby Milton?

Ain't this somethin'?

I... I thought you was dead.

I can help you with that.

I remember. You was always quiet.

Really smart too.

Derby Milton.

Come to think,

I ain't seen you since you was workin'

at the national park.

You have these in a bigger size?

What do you need a bigger size for?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes