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D.E.B.S.
There is a secret test
This test does not measure
a student's aptitude...
...at reading, writing
and arithmetic.
It measures
a student's innate ability...
...to lie, cheat, fight and kill.
Those who score well are recruited
into a secret paramilitary academy.
Some call them seductresses.
Some call them spies.
Fools call them innocent.
They call themselves D.E.B.S.
Good morning, D.E.B.S.
Attention, D.E.B.S.!
Attention! Emergency alert!
Right this second!
You have no time to sleep, ladies!
Go, go, go!
-And I mean now, ladies!
-Dominique.
while you nap!
Come on.
Phipps is freaking out.
-I need you guys up!
-Five minutes.
And no boys allowed upstairs.
Out.
-What?
-Let's go! I want everybody up!
-Janet. Five minutes.
-Have you seen my gun?
Move it, move it!
Everybody in the house!
What did I do with it?
D.E.B.S. Max here.
Amy, it's for you.
Hello. No. No! I'm not--
I'm not talking about this anymore.
Get out.
And take your clothes with you.
I don't do laundry.
Let's go! Let's go, let's go!
Move it, move it, move it!
I don't have all day, D.E.B.S.
I do not have all day!
Ten!
-Bobby, seriously, it's not a good time.
-Nine.
-Eight.
-When? When is a good time?
-Stop calling.
-Amy!
-Five. Four. Three.
-I'm coming.
After all we've been through?
-Two, one.
-Goodbye, Bobby.
I broke up with Bobby.
-What?
-I broke up with Bobby.
-Oh, my God! Why?
-He was just so boring.
He's an ass.
What?
I like him. I think he's sweet.
-I'm just not in love.
-What?
I said, I want to be in love!
Why are you yelling?
-Hi, Amy.
-Hi.
-Hey, Mr. P.
-Don't call me that.
-Hey, Mr. P.
-What's up, Mr. P?
Bonjour, Mr. P.
Hey, can I get a farmer's daughter
short stack and bacon, well done.
Tofu scramble, peach smoothie,
non-dairy.
-Cheeseburger, extra pickles.
-Coffee, black.
We have a special guest with us
this morning.
-Ms. Petrie.
-Ms. Petrie?
-Ms. Petrie.
-Ms. Petrie?
Ladies.
I just want to say what
a pleasure it is to meet you.
No time for pleasantries.
Phipps, a matter of some urgency
has come to my attention.
Lucy Diamond is back in the States.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, sh*t.
I expect to be kept
in the loop on this one.
Let's show some hustle.
-I can't believe she's back.
-Who's Lucy Diamond?
Lucy Diamond.
She's the last surviving member
of the Reynolds crime syndicate.
Her family did battle
with the Schaffers...
that lasted a decade.
After her father's death, she inherited
the keys to his kingdom:
Illegal arms-running,
smuggling, gambling...
...and her specialty, diamond theft.
She's protected by a loyal band
of mercenaries, led by this man...
...Scud.
It is believed Lucy Diamond was
behind the plot to sink Australia in '99.
Three attempts have been made
to apprehend her. All failed.
In 2003 she went underground...
...and has not been seen
or heard from since.
-Yikes.
-That's not even the bad part.
What's the bad part?
No one has ever fought her...
...and lived to tell about it.
Peach smoothie, farmer's daughter,
tofu scramble and cheeseburger.
Coffee.
So why do you think
she's back in town?
Our intel suggests she's in town to
meet this woman. Ninotchka Kaprova.
Ex-KGB, now freelance assassin.
They're scheduled to meet tonight,
2000 hours.
Find out what Lucy is up to.
Strictly surveillance.
Do not try to apprehend her
yourselves. Max, you're in charge.
Amy, you're second.
And, D.E.B.S., be careful.
What does a reclusive
criminal mastermind want...
...with a Russian trained killer?
Your scheduled meet,
2000 hours.
-Where'd you find her?
-Zeda tipped us.
Said she's available. She's in
from Prague. Relocating stateside.
-Assassin?
-Check.
-Where's the meet?
-Les Deux Amours.
Trendy, yet discreet.
Cancel it.
Why? It's all set up.
-I don't do blind dates.
-Well, it's not a blind date...
-...if you know what they look like.
-Tell her I'm not coming.
-Say I came down with something.
-Lucy, it's been two years.
-You have to get out there.
-I am out there.
I went out with that drummer,
the girl that talked loud.
You didn't go out with her.
We all went out together.
Then you lied and said you had food
poisoning, and you went home early.
Yeah, well, she talked really loud,
even when you were right next to her.
I know what you're trying to do.
You're trying to drown yourself...
...in your little schemes to destroy
the world, but you need to get over it.
-You were dumped.
-I was not dumped.
Oh, you were dumped hard.
And that sucks.
You took time off
to go to Antarctica or whatever.
Reykjavik. It's in Iceland.
But now it's time to get back
in the game, Lucy.
You've got a date tonight with
a beautiful Russian assassin...
...and you're gonna show up.
-Lucy.
-Fine.
Okay, I'll go. I'll be there.
Just promise me you'll be open.
-Open to what?
-Open to love.
Hey, look. Look. Check this out.
Ms. Petrie is handpicking girls
for the International Bureau.
I'm gonna see if
I can get an interview.
take time off after endgame?
What are you talking about?
I don't know. There's this
art school in Barcelona.
Art school?
You're the perfect score.
You could have your choice...
...of any assignment you want
after endgame.
-Who's your best friend?
-You are my best friend.
What did I say to you
the very first day of academy?
"That's my bunk, b*tch."
-Okay, after I said that.
-"D.E.B.S. stick together."
Exactly.
We've been through four years
of hell, and now we're top squad.
We're just getting to the good stuff.
So you're not gonna ruin it all
by going to art school.
-Am I right?
-Yes. You are always right.
You need to put it here.
Don't be an idiot for once.
You need to speak
English or French.
"Fringlish" is not a language.
-D.E.B.S. Janet speaking. Over.
-Janet, put her on.
-It's Bobby.
-I don't wanna talk to him.
-She doesn't want to talk to you. Over.
-Bullshit! I need to talk to her.
Copy that.
He should not call her.
It is embarrassing.
Bobby, I told you, it's over.
-Over.
-We've gotta talk.
I'm serious. No.
Amy, we need to talk.
Jesus, Bobby,
what are you doing here?
Think you guys are the only ones
onto Diamond? Everyone's here:
The feds, the CIA.
-Can't believe it.
-This is our stakeout.
in our business. It's unbelievable.
Could you guys excuse us
for a minute?
Why do you have to be
such a jerk about everything?
When my girlfriend breaks
up with me for no reason...
-...l'm a little hostile.
-It's not for no reason.
-Then give me one.
-I just want more.
-More what?
-I don't know.
-What are they saying?
-I'm not gonna spy on them.
You are a spy, dipshit.
-No. Nobody.
-Because if there's somebody else--
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"D.E.B.S." Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/d.e.b.s._6196>.
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