D.E.B.S.

There is a secret test

hidden within the SA T.

This test does not measure

a student's aptitude...

...at reading, writing

and arithmetic.

It measures

a student's innate ability...

...to lie, cheat, fight and kill.

Those who score well are recruited

into a secret paramilitary academy.

Some call them seductresses.

Some call them spies.

Fools call them innocent.

They call themselves D.E.B.S.

Good morning, D.E.B.S.

Attention, D.E.B.S.!

Attention! Emergency alert!

That means report right now!

Right this second!

You have no time to sleep, ladies!

Go, go, go!

-And I mean now, ladies!

-Dominique.

The world might be destroyed

while you nap!

Come on.

Phipps is freaking out.

-I need you guys up!

-Five minutes.

And no boys allowed upstairs.

Out.

-What?

-Let's go! I want everybody up!

-Janet. Five minutes.

-Have you seen my gun?

Move it, move it!

Everybody in the house!

What did I do with it?

D.E.B.S. Max here.

Amy, it's for you.

Hello. No. No! I'm not--

I'm not talking about this anymore.

Get out.

And take your clothes with you.

I don't do laundry.

Let's go! Let's go, let's go!

Move it, move it, move it!

I don't have all day, D.E.B.S.

I do not have all day!

Ten!

-Bobby, seriously, it's not a good time.

-Nine.

-Eight.

-When? When is a good time?

-Stop calling.

-Amy!

-Five. Four. Three.

-I'm coming.

After all we've been through?

-Two, one.

-Goodbye, Bobby.

I broke up with Bobby.

-What?

-I broke up with Bobby.

-Oh, my God! Why?

-He was just so boring.

He's an ass.

What?

I like him. I think he's sweet.

-I'm just not in love.

-What?

I said, I want to be in love!

Why are you yelling?

-Hi, Amy.

-Hi.

-Hey, Mr. P.

-Don't call me that.

-Hey, Mr. P.

-What's up, Mr. P?

Bonjour, Mr. P.

Hey, can I get a farmer's daughter

short stack and bacon, well done.

Tofu scramble, peach smoothie,

non-dairy.

-Cheeseburger, extra pickles.

-Coffee, black.

We have a special guest with us

this morning.

-Ms. Petrie.

-Ms. Petrie?

-Ms. Petrie.

-Ms. Petrie?

She never comes down here!

Ladies.

I just want to say what

a pleasure it is to meet you.

No time for pleasantries.

Phipps, a matter of some urgency

has come to my attention.

Lucy Diamond is back in the States.

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, sh*t.

I'm writing my thesis on her.

I expect to be kept

in the loop on this one.

Let's show some hustle.

-I can't believe she's back.

-Who's Lucy Diamond?

Lucy Diamond.

She's the last surviving member

of the Reynolds crime syndicate.

Her family did battle

with the Schaffers...

...in a vicious blood feud

that lasted a decade.

After her father's death, she inherited

the keys to his kingdom:

Illegal arms-running,

smuggling, gambling...

...and her specialty, diamond theft.

She's protected by a loyal band

of mercenaries, led by this man...

...Scud.

It is believed Lucy Diamond was

behind the plot to sink Australia in '99.

Three attempts have been made

to apprehend her. All failed.

In 2003 she went underground...

...and has not been seen

or heard from since.

-Yikes.

-That's not even the bad part.

What's the bad part?

No one has ever fought her...

...and lived to tell about it.

Peach smoothie, farmer's daughter,

tofu scramble and cheeseburger.

Coffee.

So why do you think

she's back in town?

Our intel suggests she's in town to

meet this woman. Ninotchka Kaprova.

Ex-KGB, now freelance assassin.

They're scheduled to meet tonight,

2000 hours.

Find out what Lucy is up to.

Strictly surveillance.

Do not try to apprehend her

yourselves. Max, you're in charge.

Amy, you're second.

And, D.E.B.S., be careful.

What does a reclusive

criminal mastermind want...

...with a Russian trained killer?

Your scheduled meet,

2000 hours.

-Where'd you find her?

-Zeda tipped us.

Said she's available. She's in

from Prague. Relocating stateside.

-Assassin?

-Check.

-Where's the meet?

-Les Deux Amours.

Trendy, yet discreet.

Cancel it.

Why? It's all set up.

-I don't do blind dates.

-Well, it's not a blind date...

-...if you know what they look like.

-Tell her I'm not coming.

-Say I came down with something.

-Lucy, it's been two years.

-You have to get out there.

-I am out there.

I went out with that drummer,

the girl that talked loud.

You didn't go out with her.

We all went out together.

Then you lied and said you had food

poisoning, and you went home early.

Yeah, well, she talked really loud,

even when you were right next to her.

I know what you're trying to do.

You're trying to drown yourself...

...in your little schemes to destroy

the world, but you need to get over it.

-You were dumped.

-I was not dumped.

Oh, you were dumped hard.

And that sucks.

You took time off

to go to Antarctica or whatever.

Reykjavik. It's in Iceland.

But now it's time to get back

in the game, Lucy.

You've got a date tonight with

a beautiful Russian assassin...

...and you're gonna show up.

-Lucy.

-Fine.

Okay, I'll go. I'll be there.

Just promise me you'll be open.

-Open to what?

-Open to love.

Hey, look. Look. Check this out.

Ms. Petrie is handpicking girls

for the International Bureau.

I'm gonna see if

I can get an interview.

Think Mr. Phipps would let me

take time off after endgame?

What are you talking about?

I don't know. There's this

art school in Barcelona.

Art school?

You're the perfect score.

You could have your choice...

...of any assignment you want

after endgame.

-Who's your best friend?

-You are my best friend.

What did I say to you

the very first day of academy?

"That's my bunk, b*tch."

-Okay, after I said that.

-"D.E.B.S. stick together."

Exactly.

We've been through four years

of hell, and now we're top squad.

We're just getting to the good stuff.

So you're not gonna ruin it all

by going to art school.

-Am I right?

-Yes. You are always right.

You need to put it here.

Don't be an idiot for once.

You need to speak

English or French.

"Fringlish" is not a language.

-D.E.B.S. Janet speaking. Over.

-Janet, put her on.

-It's Bobby.

-I don't wanna talk to him.

-She doesn't want to talk to you. Over.

-Bullshit! I need to talk to her.

Copy that.

He really needs to see you.

He should not call her.

It is embarrassing.

Bobby, I told you, it's over.

-Over.

-We've gotta talk.

I'm serious. No.

Amy, we need to talk.

Jesus, Bobby,

what are you doing here?

Think you guys are the only ones

onto Diamond? Everyone's here:

The feds, the CIA.

-Can't believe it.

-This is our stakeout.

Always sticking their heads

in our business. It's unbelievable.

Could you guys excuse us

for a minute?

Why do you have to be

such a jerk about everything?

When my girlfriend breaks

up with me for no reason...

-...l'm a little hostile.

-It's not for no reason.

-Then give me one.

-I just want more.

-More what?

-I don't know.

-What are they saying?

-I'm not gonna spy on them.

You are a spy, dipshit.

-Is there somebody else?

-No. Nobody.

-Because if there's somebody else--

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