D.E.B.S. Page #2

-Look, I just--

-Speak.

-I'm not in love with you.

Well.

I guess nobody's good enough

for Little Miss Perfect Score.

Shut up!

Oh, yeah, you'll be back.

You can do this.

Why is it I can hold the whole world

hostage...

...l'm scared of going on

one blind date?

Because love is harder

than crime.

Okay, now, knock them dead.

But not really.

Sure.

-Are you okay?

-Hey, she's arrived.

Okay, we've got visual.

Hi. Sorry I'm late. I got lost.

It is no problem. I was early.

-I have that sweater.

-What?

I have the sweater

she's wearing, but in taupe.

Really? Where did you get it?

-Target.

-No way.

Silence!

I'll have the Cobb.

And some wine.

-Do you--? Do you want wine?

-Vodka.

Vodka. Please.

Lucy Diamond, she's....

-What?

-Real.

-I never thought I'd see her in person.

-Yeah.

They also have it in teal.

So you're an assassin?

How's that work?

It's mostly freelance.

So you basically, what,

you kill, like, whoever?

Sometimes maim.

-Maiming's more.

-What are they saying?

They are talking about killing

and how to kill and who to kill.

-Oh, God.

-But I do it just to pay bills.

-Really?

-Mostly...

...I want to be dancer.

-Yeah. Can I have my bracelet back?

-What are you doing?

My dad got that

when he graduated Quantico.

Greatest dance instructor in Russia,

but I can't afford to pay, so he say:

"My wife is cheating on me. You kill

her lover, I give you free lessons."

Fine, okay. Oh, my gosh.

First man was goat farmer,

so I use goat shears.

Second man, he likes chickens, so I

took six chickens and put in thro--

-What's wrong?

-Oh, you know, I just--

I'm feeling really ill.

It's my stomach. l--

-I think I have food poisoning.

-Are you blowing me?

-What?

-Off.

-Are you blowing me off?

-No, no, no.

Let's do this.

-Was it something I said?

-No. No. Look, I just--

I just got back into town,

you know? And-- And--

-And I just got out of this relationship--

-I'm not asking for relationship!

It's not you. You seem really nice,

you do. It's me.

Baby, I can change.

Guys....

I'm just not interested.

Then only you will die alone.

Head Lucy off.

Me and Dom will take the back.

Mr. Phipps specifically ordered us

not to engage her.

Janet....

-Who here isn't gonna graduate?

-Me.

-Why?

-I haven't earned my stripes.

Oh, would that be this thing here?

And why is that?

You need to give me

a recommendation.

I don't see why you just won't--

Not what I asked.

I need to show courage in the face

of unspeakable danger.

Exactly.

So quit your whining

and follow my orders.

Let's go!

Okay. I'll check the parking lot.

You go that way.

-Stay in communication range.

-But Mr.--

You can do this, Janet.

Janet, are you there?

-Oh, sh*t!

-Oh, my God.

-I am so sorry.

-I'm so sorry.

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, sh*t.

-You're Lucy Diamond.

-You're a D.E.B.

You have the right to remain silent.

-You're reading me my rights?

-Anything you say can...

...and will be used against you.

-Okay, here's the thing.

-Yeah?

-I am really not up for dying today.

-Me neither.

So I was thinking that....

-Why don't you put your gun down.

-Put yours down.

You're the criminal, and I'm the cop,

so I think I'm more trustworthy.

I was minding my own business

on a blind date...

...when you guys decided

to rain sh*t all over me.

Wait.

-You were on a blind date?

-Whatever.

-With that Russian girl?

-What?

Nothing. I just--

I didn't know you were a--

Why would you know?

-That really torpedoes my thesis.

-Your thesis?

I'm writing a term paper on you.

-You're kidding me.

-No, it's for Capes and Capers:

Gender Reconstruction

and the Criminal Mastermind.

-It's a really popular class.

-Oh, come on.

But it's hard because there's

only anecdotal evidence about you.

I mean, nobody's actually

ever spoken to you.

Until now.

Right. Until now.

I'm sorry. I didn't get your name.

Amy. Bradshaw.

D.E.B.S. Sector 1.

Lucy Diamond.

It's really nice to meet you.

You're still, you know,

under arrest.

-Am I?

-Amy!

Or you could

just let me go.

-I really couldn't.

-Come on.

Haven't you ever done anything

you're not supposed to?

-Amy, where are you?

-I'm over here.

Son of a b*tch!

Are you okay?

We couldn't reach you.

-I'm fine.

-Well, what happened?

She was here.

-Lucy Diamond was here.

-That's impossible.

If she was here,

you'd be dead right now.

You guys....

Sweet Jesus.

Do you know what this means?

You are the only one ever

to fight Lucy Diamond...

...and live to tell about it.

What a disaster!

I am so sorry.

Leave it to the D.E.B.S.

You're in town a week, and

they're all over you, just grabbing--

What?

-Really, what?

-I met somebody.

It was weird,

the thing about the dance...

...but I had a feeling

you and Ninotchka--

No, no, no. Scud,

Ninotchka was a train wreck.

I'm not following you.

Okay, first, swear to me you are

not gonna freak out about this.

-Freak out about what?

-You know, sometimes--

Oh, my God! Who is it?

Okay, what do you know

about an Amy Bradshaw?

Amy Bradshaw. The girl

from the smuggling op.

-No.

-No.

Oh, my God.

Amy Bradshaw?

Blond hair.

Plaid skirt.

She's a D.E.B.

Okay, not only is she a D.E.B...

...she is the D.E.B.

She is the perfect score.

What is that supposed to mean?

Amy Bradshaw is

the only person ever...

...to get a perfect score

on the secret test in the SAT.

-Give me the keys.

-Are you listening?

Perfect score means perfect spy.

She is their pride and joy,

she is literally their poster child.

Well, their poster child doesn't

know it yet, but she's into me.

You can't be serious.

Would you say back on the horse?

Where are you going?

Back.

P.S. She's straight!

You stay here.

Lucy, I beg of you--

All right, D.E.B.S.

Show me what you're made of.

-Amy.

-Oh, my God!

Jesus!

Okay, just hold on.

-What are you doing here?

-I wanted to see you.

Why?

Well, I was thinking about what

you said about your paper.

My thesis?

I think it's stupid for you

to do outdated research...

...when you could come

straight to the source.

You?

Come out with me.

I'll let you ask me anything.

-I can't go out with you.

-Why not?

Like, a zillion reasons.

Well, now you have

to come out with me.

Janet, what are you doing here?

I don't know who that is,

but he ruined my sweater!

-I don't know who you think you are.

-Janet, no!

Did you go to Dalton?

Yeah.

-Where are you taking us?

-Where do you want to go?

Home!

What are you doing?

Come on.

Look, these tunnels

go on for miles...

...so you guys could be lost

in there for days, even weeks.

Okay. Suit yourself.

I have to pee.

-Want a beer?

-No.

Come on.

Sit down.

So how long you been a D.E.B.?

You're gonna have to talk to me

sooner or later.

I don't know what you expect

to accomplish by bringing me here.

Lighten up. I know there are a load of

questions you're just dying to ask me.

Come on, tell me about your thesis.

-It's stupid.

-Well, try me.

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