D.O.A. Page #6

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Then you know

what's going to happen to you.

It's so sick.

Dragon lady wipes out her rivals.

But why me?

I mean, I can almost understand Gail.

Gail.

- Why me?

- What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, Bernard. Can't you

grant a dying man his last wish?

Where do I fiit into

Mrs Fitzwaring's little psychodrama?

Is the heat getting to you, old chum?

You're babbling.

- We're on campus.

- ''A'' in geography, Prof.

- Now, how's your archaeology?

- What?

I thought the tar pit might interest

an old fossil like yourself.

Nothing personal.

What the f***?

Happy hour.

Care for a cocktail?

Drinking and driving

don't mix, Cookie.

I was trying to kill you,

pencil neck.

Stay away from me.

Stay away from me!

- You can't make me go back there.

- Don't piss about, love.

Just get in the car.

Let me go!

All right.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm taking him to the police

just as soon as I get you home.

- You're not taking me home.

- He's not taking me

to the police either.

- Cork it, Cornell, or else I--

- Or else what? You're gonna kill me?

Cornell, I'm tired of your crap.

Do you hear me?

- Is something burning?

- Hey, what are you doing back there?

Jesus!

Oh, God!

F***!

- Payback time, Bernard!

- Look out, damn it!

Look out!

- Slow down, Cookie!

- What are you doing?

Cookie!

God! Cookie!

Oh! Look at this jerk!Jeez!

The guy's drunk.

F***in' a**hole.

Want some popcorn? Well, have some!

And a beer!

Yeah, buddy!

Leave him alone!

- What? The guy's a drunk.

- Yeah!

- Maybe he's hurt.

- I don't know.

I'll call an ambulance.

You didn't have to do that, Syd.

So I was just supposed to let them

make a popcorn ball out of you?

Not bad.

You know, my mother, she used to

trim the tree with this stuff.

I guess nobody does that any more.

Mine does.

Are you going home for Christmas?

Mm-hmm.

Where's home?

Kansas.

Kansas?

What do you do for Christmas

in Kansas?

Well, um, the whole clan

gathers together.

We haven't seen each other

in about a year, so we plop down

in front of the television set...

and watch Miracle on 34th Street

for the 34th time.

Great.

What else?

And...

we all give each other presents

that we don't need.

And if we need them,

then they're all the wrong size.

Pretty awful, huh?

Pretty nice.

- It'll be good to see Eddie.

- This your brother Eddie?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah. Where do

the female reindeer go?

- Oh. No.

- Come on.

Where do all the female reindeer go

when Santa and the male reindeer

are out on Christmas Eve?

They go into town

and they blow a few bucks.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm so scared for you.

Oh...

it'll be a breeze.

The fiirst million years

go like that.

The second million--

- It's just so unfair.

- No, it's fair.

I've been dead for four years now.

Gail was right.

It just took a little poisoning

for me to notice.

- You're more alive

than anybody I ever met.

- No, Syd.

I forgot how to appreciate life.

It's too late for me.

This is life.

Right here.

Right now.

Take it.

Please.

2-Bravo-6, 1 0-4. En route.

Check the car out.

I don't know what the cops told you,

but I didn't kill Cookie.

Bernard did.

Didn't mean to.

It's just that people have this habit

of dying around Bernard.

Didn't they?

So it's all come full circle, right back

to your front door, hasn't it, missus?

No, you brought it to my door.

And you never really knew anything,

did you?

I know you had quite a long hit list.

We've been at cross purposes,

suspecting each other unjustly.

I don't believe you.

Your daughter told me every--

Cookie was wrong.

- I didn't kill Nick.

- I don't believe you.

Now, I want to know!

Why were you so obsessed

about Cookie and Nick?

Who was he to you?

My son.

- Cookie never knew.

- But Nick's father--

- The man who killed your husband.

- Also my husband.

Abandoned along with Nick

I don't know how he found me

after all those years...

but he was here that night

four years ago together with Fitzwaring.

I asked him what he wanted. He said

not much, considering what my husband--

my other husband-- had to give.

Lang had told Fitzwaring

all about me.

There was a scene. Ugly words

like ''bigamy'' and ''blackmail.''

Fitzwaring told Lang to leave.

He said that Lang

wouldn't get a nickel.

He told me to leave too,

without our daughter.

He said I would never

see Cookie again.

You must understand that what I did,

I did for my daughter...

and my son.

Bernard understood.

He told the police

that a prowler had broken in...

had shot Fitzwaring, attacked me.

Then Bernard and the prowler

struggled for the gun.

It went off.

That was our story.

Nick was my son.

Although he could never know that

I was his mother, I wanted him near me.

Now he's gone.

They're all gone.

There's nothing.

All this time

on the wrong trail.

God.

God!

Goddam it! Why?

Sh*t! Sh*t!

It's Dex.

I'm in my offiice.

I need you.

Dex?

Hey, Dex.

Dex? Hey.

Hey, buddy.

- Uh, you don't look so good.

- Well, I feel good.

I'm alive.

Hell, you know,

you're, uh, never more alive

than when you're on the edge of death.

Can't you feel it, Hal?

I don't feel anything.

One for the road.

Merry Christmas.

No.

- Why?

- Why what?

- Why did you kill me?

- What are you talking about?

Where did you get the poison?

I stole it from the med centre

the night I was there with Elaine...

playin' a little ''heigh-ho, Silver.''

- She had an emergency call.

She left the keys.

- Why, goddam it?

- 0ut of Whack.

- What?

One minute after I give you the damn

scotch, you tell me you didn't read it.

- Read what?

- 0ut of Whack.

Nick Lang's novel?

Well, I'm gonna pass it off

as my own.

I have to, man.

It's f***ing brilliant.

And my book-- my book.

Well, everything about it that was good

you helped me with.

I was in here last week

trying to work on it.

I see Nick Lang's book

sitting on your desk.

So I pick it up,

fiigure I'd get a few laughs about

how full of sh*t this kid is.

Guess I knew what I was gonna do

before I even got to the last page.

What's so funny?

- What's so funny?

- That's what all this is about?

Some kid's lousy homework?

No. I just fiinished telling you,

it's not lousy.

It's one of the best damn books

I ever read.

That's why I had to do it.

Not that I was sure I could.

I mean, Lang was easy.

Smug little sh*t.

Light as a feather.

Just up and over and bon voyage.

But you, in the john the other day--

I wasn't worried about

any damned promotion.

Why Gail?

She had nothing to do with this.

- Why did you have to kill her?

- No. That-- That was your fault.

That was your fault.

I got all the copies

out of Lang's apartment.

I put your copy in the damned garbage.

You picked it up,

you put it in your damned briefcase.

- And left it at Gail's.

- I guess so.

I saw it there when Elaine and I

took her home the other night.

So you burn it.

She tried to stop you.

You bludgeoned her, freshened up...

then went out for a night on the theatre

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