D3: The Mighty Ducks

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[ Faint Cheering ]

[ Announcer ]

Please welcome to the podium...

the head coach and leader

of the Mighty Ducks,

- Gordon Bombay.

- [ Crowd Applauding ]

[ Applause Continues ]

[ Bombay ] Thank you.

It's a great honor to be here today...

to introduce you

to a truly great group of kids.

Sure, they can be

a little rambunctious.

They've run me ragged and played

more than their fair share of pranks.

I still haven't forgotten

about those eggs.

But I hung in there,

and they hung in there for me.

We became the Quack Attack,

the Flying "V''and the Bash Brothers.

I've never had a better time.

These kids are winners,

each and every one of them.

But more than that,

these are good people.

I hope that they enrich and

enliven your school and your

lives the way they have mine.

Now I hand you over

to the capable hands...

of my old biology teacher

and the current headmaster...

of Eden Hall, Dean Buckley.

- Dean.

- [ Crowd Applauding ]

[ Buckley ]

Gordon Bombay has a lot to be proud of.

We are happy to welcome the Ducks...

to our great educational institution.

So, today it gives me

great pleasure to award you...

these full athletic scholarships

to the Eden Hall Academy...

[ Crowd Cheering, Applauding ]

where we hope the Ducks will be happy

Warriors and lead us on to glory...

and divisional championships.

[ Applause, Cheering Continue ]

[ Applause, Cheering Continue ]

Right on ! Whoo !

- Maybe I should tell him first.

- I think that's a good idea.

[ Sighs ] The school looks stuffy,

but we'll loosen it up.

- Huh, Coach ?

- [ Sighs ]

I'm not gonna be your coach

this year, Charlie.

Yeah, very funny.

[ Chuckling ]

I just got

the official word.

TheJunior Goodwill Games

Committee...

has named me Director

of Player Personnel.

I'm gonna be in charge of their

junior hockey program worldwide.

- Well, don't go.

- Charlie, I can't pass up

this opportunity.

[ Chuckles ]

But you can pass us up, right ?

I mean, you dump us in some

stupid school and now--

I'm not dumping you anywhere.

Eden Hall is a great chance for you.

- Charlie, I will always--

- Coach, please...

don't go.

Charlie,

I know it's hard.

- I-I understand what you're going thr--

- No, no.

No, you don't understand.

You obviously don't even

have a clue.

[ Sighs ]

You know, I think this place

is running very low...

- on the brothers quotient.

- Yeah.

Hey, I want to know

who this new Coach Orion is.

- My dad said that if I didn't like him,

I could come right home.

- That's nice.

My dad said I better stay in

on scholarship or he'll whip my butt.

You know, I heard

in the dorm that the guy played

for the Minnesota North Stars...

- and got suspended

for punching out his own coach.

- You mean the Dallas Stars.

- I heard he punched out a fan.

- I heard he was a Buddhist.

You know, like Kung Fu

or Richard Gere.

- Kung Fu wasn't a Buddhist.

He was a Trappist monk.

- Are you talking about...

the old Kung Fu or the Further

Adventures of the New Kung Fu ?

- Y'all watch too much TV.

- Shoot, that's the safest

thing to do in my hood.

Watch it, Mom.

You might get hit.

[ Sighs ]

Don't worry about me, Mom.

[ Sighs ]

You're right.

As long as I have the Ducks, I should

be able to handle this new school.

- That's my boy.

- [ Car Door Shuts ]

Hey, Fulton, you ever

think about shooting...

back into the alley

and not the street ?

Not really.

- [ Grunts, Hits Puck ]

- [ Cat Screeches ]

I just found out

Portman isn't coming.

- He's staying in Chicago.

How uncool is that ?

- No, you got to be kidding me.

- He found out Bombay bailed,

and he bailed too.

- Well--

What good is

one Bash Brother ?

I mean, what am I now,

Mr. Bash ? The Bashman ?

- [ Grunts, Hits Puck ]

- Ow! Hey, watch it, please!

- That hurt.

- [ Fulton ] Sorry, Goldberg.

Oh, no problem, guys.

Life isn't bad enough, I gotta worry

about being nailed off the ice too.

Why am I always

getting shot at ?

- You're a goalie, dude. Deal.

- Well put.

- Thanks, Fulton. Real sensitive.

- You're welcome.

Well, let's go. We wouldn't want to keep

the preppy snobs waiting.

[ Students Chattering ]

[ Chattering Continues ]

Hey, you know what ? You Ducks

don't belong here at Eden Hall.

- What ?

- Hey, easy, Russ. They probably

just think we're someone else.

Um, I'm Dwayne. We're

the new hockey team. And you are ?

Varsity.

The only hockey team.

State champs.

You know, my little brother

lost his J.V. slot when they

brought you yo-yos in here.

Probably wasn't good enough.

See, that's my dad.

He's gonna get the board to revoke

your scholarships.just you wait.

That's your dad ? Nice outfit.

Did it come with a yacht ?

- [ Ducks Laughing ]

- [ Mocking Laughter]

- [ Kids Quacking ]

- Averman, where are you taking us ?

- [ Fulton ] Hey, Connie.

Hey, Connie, look over here.

- Okay, everybody, follow me.

- Nice tie, Banks. Cake-eater.

- [ Whooping ]

- Hey, Connie, come on.

- Charlie. Uh, uh, Charlie.

- Turn right.

- I'm a goalie, not a skater !

[ Grunting ]

Hey, lady, watch out !

- [ Screaming ]

- [ Screaming ] I'm sorry !

[ Groans ]

- [ Grunting ]

- I got you, Goldie! I'm coming!

- [ Screaming ] I'm done, man !

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[ Groans, Grunting ]

Charlie!

Where are you ?

Help me !

[ Gasping ]

[ Continues Gasping ]

Move it !

[ Gasps ]

What's this ? What's this ?

G-Get it off me, Charlie!

[ Screaming ]

I can't see !

[ Gasping ]

- [ Growling ]

- Oh, no !

- Goldberg ! Goldberg !

- [ Goldberg Screaming ]

- There's a pit bull !

- [ Screaming ] Charlie, where are you ?

[ Charlie ]

Cujo's after you, man!

- [ Growling ]

- I can't see! I can't see! What's that?

- [ Growling Continues ]

- Is that you ?

- [ Growling ]

- [ Screams ]

- [ Charlie Growling ]

- [ Dog Barking ]

- [ Yells ]

- Charlie ! [ Laughs ]

[ Gasping ]

Charlie, it's stuck !

- It's got me !

- [ Charlie ] Put down the hose!

- The hose !

- [ Stammering ]

Welcome. Since its inception in 1 903,

Eden Hall Academy...

has taken great pride in its illustrious

tradition of excellence.

Yet, as we approach

the coming millennium,

we dare not shrink from the specter

of inevitable change.

- [ Whispers ] What did he say ?

- [ Buckley Continues ]

Something about

a shrinking sphincter.

- ""Shrinking sphincter.''

- [ Russ,Julie Chuckling ]

[ Goldberg Screaming ]

Oh, there's cars, Charlie !

[ Continues Screaming ]

Help !

Whoa !

[ Grunts, Sighs ]

[ Goldberg Stammering ]

What do I do, Charlie ?

[ Screaming ]

[ Continues Screaming ]

- Charlie !

- I got ya ! I got ya ! Gotcha !

- [ Charlie ] All right.

- [ Both Screaming, Horn Honks ]

[ Both ]

Bridge !

[ Goldberg, Charlie Grunt ]

- Yeah ! Goldberg ! Yeah !

- Goldberg, don't you ever

do that to me again !

Thus, myself, the board,

Tom Riley

of the alumni association...

and Varsity Coach Wilson, who has led us

to ten consecutive state championships,

[ Students Cheering ]

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