Daddy Long Legs Page #6

if your feet's too big

You put the old

posterior out

Then you manipulate it about

It is the most

"lackadaisiest"

I mean the craziest

Sluefoot

You gotta rock

like a rockin' chair

The step is clocklike

but slightly square

You count to

one, two, three, four

- Then you holler

- Sluefoot

- You put your toe out

You drag it back

- You really go out, You ball thejack

- Terribly sorry. l-

Do what you done, done before

when you holler

Sluefoot

Well.

All right.

Sluefoot

- Go, Julie!

- Yeah!

Don't stop now.

Hey. That's it!

- My, my, my!

- That's it. Keep goin'.

Stay with it!

Yeah, yeah!

- Good morning, sir.

- Good morning.

Thanks.

Hello, Jervis.

Oh, hello, Griggs.

Wonderful day, isn't it?

Yes. The market opened

very strong.

- Bring the mail?

- Did I ever fail to bring it, Jervis?

No.

My dear fellow, what are you in

such a foul mood about?

The first days of spring

always affect me this way.

Oh. Oh, Griggs. Uh, will you please

have this record sent to Miss Andre?

- And who is sending the record?

- I am, of course.

Yeah. I'm aware of that, Jervis,

but in which incarnation are you sending it?

Jekyll or Hyde?

UncleJervis or Daddy Longlegs?

Jervis Pendleton, and you can leave off

the "uncle," if you don't mind.

What you're looking for

is in the personal file.

Thank you, Griggs.

"Dear Daddy Longlegs, l-"

"I'm- I met

Linda's UncleJervis.

He seemed very nice."

"He seemed very nice."

"He seemed very nice."

"But an awful thing has happened.

Oh, not to me, but toJimmy McBride.

"He's had a dreadful

disappointment.

He was all set to go to South Africa

as a mining engineer when the project blew up."

"lmagine. Only about a month

from graduation...

"and he considers himself

a failure.

"If he would follow my advice,

he'd stay in this country...

"and work in his father's

overalls factory.

But he hates it."

Hmm. "I can't tell you

how miserable I feel for him."

- Griggs.

- Yes, Jervis.

- Would you come here a moment, please?

- I'll be right there.

"He was all set to go to South Africa as

a mining engineer when the project blew up."

Uh, Griggs, I'd like to do something

for a young chap I know.

Name's McBride.

Brilliant mining engineer.

Do we have an opening for him?

Well, our New Jersey lab

can always use a bright young man.

No, no. Not- Not, uh- Not New Jersey.

He- He's the adventurous type.

He- He'd want to go far away.

You know, see the world kind of thing.

I see. Someplace

out of the country, eh?

He'd sign up for a year's contract.

As a matter of fact, he wants to.

He's a good man.

Very highly recommended.

- By whom?

- By-

By me. l- I, uh- I met him at

that college dance recently.

He's a friend of Linda's.

I was quite impressed with him.

I, uh- I have an eye for these young people

who are going places, you know.

Going places.

How about our tin mines in Bolivia?

- Bolivia?

- Would that be far enough away for you?

- It's not for me. It's for him.

- Oh. Of course.

I can't imagine what

I was thinking of.

- Our mines in Bolivia sound ideal.

- Oh, they are.

Almost inaccessible. Takes two days to

reach them after you get off a burro's back.

Fine, fine. Uh, will you get

Miss Pritchard in here, please?

- Miss Pritchard?

- Yes. I want her to take a letter now.

I thought perhaps you wanted

to teach her the sluefoot.

Hi, Jervis.

Oh. Hello, Larry.

How are you?

- Fine, fine.

- Good, good.

- Meeting someone?

- Yeah. My niece Linda and her roommate.

They're coming down

from college.

- Oh, yes? I wish I knew she was on the plane.

- Yeah. Oh.

- Jervis, how are you?

- Hello, Julie. So good to see you. How was the flight?

- Just wonderful. Wonderful.

- Well, Jervis, I'll just-

Pardon me. Uh, M-Mr. Hamilton,

Miss Andre. Uh, uh-

- How do you do?

- Where-Where's Linda?

- She couldn't come.

- She couldn't come?

- No.

- Well, as I was saying, Jervis, I'll just be buzzing along.

Uh, three's

a... you know what.

- Very happy to have met you.

- Good-bye.

Uh, uh-

What happened to Linda?

Oh, she woke up this morning

with the sniffles...

and she told me her colds always

get much worse before they get better...

so I just let her-

- Shouldn't I have come alone?

- Oh, yes. Of course. Certainly.

I'd have been very disappointed

if you hadn't.

- Oh.

- Really. Are these your baggage checks?

- Yes.

- John, will you handle these for Miss Andre, please?

Yeah. Sure.

This way, please,

Mr. Pendleton.

Oh. Jervis,

you know, it's-

It's just beautiful.

Count four towers over

and nine towers to the right.

In the basement of the 10th tower

there's a lovely little restaurant.

I thought we might

have dinner.

Why don't we have it right here

so we can see the lights of the city?

Don't they teach you

anything at that college?

You know what

they'll be thinking.

Oh, it's ridiculous.

What time would you like to dine?

Oh, anytime.

- Be back at 7:
00.

- Mm-hmm.

- Black tie?

- But of course.

You know, Jervis. I've worked out

your whole past.

That doesn't surprise me

in the least.

There was someone years ago.

She was tall, slender...

blonde, very beautiful,

and you loved her madly.

But she married

someone else.

- Oh, she was very foolish.

- Thank you.

So you never loved

anyone else since.

Is that the way it was?

No. There never was

a tall, slender blonde...

but there was a short

little redhead.

And then there was

a very large brunette.

And then there was someone

I met in Switzerland.

- And then there was-

- Hmm. Oh la la.

- And you loved them all?

- Madly.

Hmm. And why didn't you

ever marry?

I didn't love them

that madly.

I don't think

you ever will.

Marry?

Hmm.

That all depends.

You know,

there's an old theory.

I mean-

When an irresistible force

Such as you

Meets an old

immovable object

Like me

You can bet

as sure as you live

Something's gotta give, Something's gotta give

Something's gotta give

When an irrepressible smile

Such as yours

Warms an old

implacable heart

Such as mine

Don't say no

because I insist

Somewhere, somehow

someone's gonna be kissed

So, en garde

Who knows what the Fates

have in store

From their vast

mysterious sky

I'll try hard

Ignoring those lips

I adore

But how long

can anyone try

Fight, fight, fight, fight

Fight it with

all of our might

Chances are

Some heavenly

star-spangled night

We'll find out

as sure as we live

Something's gotta give, Something's gotta give

Something's gotta give

When an irresistible

force

Such as you

Meets an old

immovable object

Like you

Your morning paper.

Oh.

Uh, did anything

happen yesterday?

- A man got robbed.

- Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. What a shame.

A girl got married.

Ah. That's nice.

Who did she marry?

- A man.

- Oh.

They've been in love

for a long time.

Oh.

Anything else happen?

Yes. But it's not

in the paper.

- Oh.

- Good night, Julie.

Good night, Jervis.

Excuse me,

Mr. Ambassador.

- Right this way, Mr. Ambassador.

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