Dag och natt Page #4

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If there are things you need

to get off your chest.

In any case, we'll beat the hell

out of Malm FF tomorrow.

And that's all that matters.

#I've travelled far and wide

seen most everything

#But I'll never

get enough of my team

#AIK, A-I-K...

- Christian...

- Can't you hear it?

- Listen to the footballers.

- Can't you hear...?

#Take me down to the stands

#There I'll die for AIK

#AIK, we'll fight for you!

#We're the Black Army,

yes, that's who we are!

#And if you mess with us,

we'll cut you down to size!

#We'll show Sweden,

just how to pick a fight...

#And no one will get up,

when we have shown our might!

Practice is over.

Emil! Emil...

What?

- Hello, Emil.

- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

- I had a few hours off...

You told me you weren't my dad.

- I didn't mean it.

- Yes, you did.

You're full of sh*t!

Beat it!

Jakob is a great dad, so go away!

Go!

Go away! You bastard...

I hate you!

Let me go!

Let me go!

I hate you!

Hello, Mother, it's Thomas.

I'm coming to pick you up now.

The nurse said you won't be

going to the swimming complex.

Something to do with a leaky roof.

Who am I? I'm Thomas.

Your son.

- Press that switch.

- This one?

In the other direction...

Don't touch that,

I'll get locked out.

I'm checking to see if I look pretty.

- Isn't this pretty?

- I thought we'd take a spin.

- What's that?

- A gift, it's for you.

For me? Thank you.

It's yours if you

come along for a ride.

I love these...

- Where are we going?

- Just for a drive.

- Where to?

- Out into the wild blue yonder.

Of course,

"out into the wild blue yonder"...

Why?

I want to say goodbye, Mother.

- Where are you going?

- Far away.

- Have you packed clean clothes?

- Yes.

- Your passport, money and all that?

- Yes, every last thing.

- Why doesn't he ever visit me?

- Who do you mean?

The little one...

Emil?

Who's Emil?

Forget it.

He was a lusty boy. Back then...

He was always sticking it into her.

- Know what I asked him?

- No, tell me.

"Does it make you happy?" I said.

He really ought to visit me sometime.

- Do you mean Dad?

- No.

He was useless, for heaven's sake.

- It's the little boy I mean.

- Thomas?

Do you know him too?

A little.

He used to come around

when he owed money...

Goodness, that was fast!

He always asked me for money.

But you know what?

There will be no more of that.

No more.

He'll have to make it on his own,

without my help.

I tell everyone at the home

that my son is a drunk.

He boozes it up

and pisses away his life.

- He does?

- Yes, indeed.

He's really made it big, hasn't he?

What a grand title: Drunk.

A drunk...

That really does a mother proud.

- But you love him anyway, don't you?

- No.

- Why should I?

- Because you're his mother.

And he's your son,

it's not like he can stop being that.

A mother loves her son

no matter what, isn't that right?

Like hell she does. No way.

I told him that when he was a boy.

"I don't want to be your mother,"

I said. "I don't."

"I don't want you

to have feelings for me."

"I want you to forget all about me."

- It was all because of a f***.

- Because of a f***?

It's a relief to not

be his mother anymore.

My, it's green here...

Well, then...

- Here we are.

- Where?

- The beach.

- I don't want to swim. I can't.

Don't worry, Mother.

Where is she?

Your mother?

She can hear me.

That's nice.

Then we won't

have to go looking for her.

We won't be seeing each other again.

- We won't?

- No.

- Why is that?

- I'm going away.

- Where to?

- Far away... New York.

- Where's that?

- In America.

Right, "okey-doke"...

I want to die, Mother.

Well, so do I.

- How about it, shall we go?

- Where to?

To New York.

Just as long as I don't

have to go swimming...

You won't have to go swimming.

What are we waiting for?

Nothing.

It's beautiful, can you see that?

Shall we go out for a while?

Would you like to sit down?

- Is this the end of it?

- Yes.

- Promise?

- Yes, I promise.

- Why is it so dark?

- Because you're in New York.

- Is it all over now?

- Yes.

Thomas?

Thomas...

I can show you a good time.

Four hundred for a blowj*b.

- Can't you go a little faster?

- Yes.

Only I feel like driving for a while,

and I want you to be quiet.

You're sitting by my side like no one

else has ever done before.

I feel totally secure.

You have no expectations.

And I have no desires.

We'd make a nice couple.

Me talking all the time...

Just talking and talking.

While you sleep.

We could live

like that for years and years.

Happier than most people.

I could never be happy.

Why not?

Because I've screwed up too often.

Tell me about it.

Is it a boy or a girl?

A boy, I think.

I can tell by the way

he kicks me in the stomach.

I don't know

if I'll keep him, though.

I was going to have an abortion,

only it was too late.

- He doesn't deserve a mum like me.

- Why do you say that?

- How could I ever protect my kid?

- You've got to try.

- I can't do it.

- You've got to try. Keep the baby.

Don't get rid of him.

You've got to make the effort.

I think you'd be a good mother.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm not.

Do you have kids?

- Yes... no.

- Do you, or don't you?

I do, I had a son.

I lost him.

I wasn't worthy of being his father.

- What you mean, worthy?

- I wasn't worthy.

- Better a bad dad than no dad.

- I don't know about that.

- That's what I think.

- That's your opinion...

I'm sure he misses you a lot.

You're sure of that?

Well, good for you.

- Not so good for you, though.

- So what makes you so wise?

Did you read that

in a ladies' magazine?

Or some "psychology

for beginner's" book?

Is it too hard to understand

that I might be happier

without children?

Is that too much

for you to understand?

The concept is too bloody complex

for a little whore like you.

You don't know

what you're talking about.

Who cares?

- Right...

- Are we going to do this?

No, wait...

I said wait.

What's your name?

Desir.

Are you in debt?

What do you think?

- How much do you owe?

- That's none of your business.

I want to give you the money.

How much do you need?

- What do you want me to do?

- Shoot me.

No, I'm not into that sort of thing.

- Stay here.

- I want to get out.

- Let me out.

- I didn't mean to scare you.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Promise me you'll stay.

- If you unlock the door...

- If you promise to stay, I will.

Why do you want me to shoot you?

A dead man hurts less people

than a live one does.

Wouldn't you say

that's a pretty good reason?

How is your son

going to make it without a dad?

Your death might destroy him.

All you need to do is go to him

and kiss him goodnight.

Tell him you love him,

that you want to make things right.

I don't have the strength

to make things right.

I should be the one

to commit suicide.

My life is a mess.

What do you have

to be miserable about?

I'll write a note

saying that I did it.

That I pulled the trigger.

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