Dakota Page #2

I can't imagine why you'd

want to buck a proposition

as uncertain as you may

find in the wheat country.

Wha... what's

uncertain about it?

You don't think nobody's gonna

let you walk into Fargo

and jump any claims,

do ya, ma'am?

Bigtree means, you might

have a little trouble

getting hold of a decent

piece of land--

Good acreage is scarce.

Tryin' to tell us that

they don't take kindly to

strangers in Fargo, Mr. Bender?

I don't imagine they'd

welcome strangers

who come to farm, uh, without

implements, Mr. Devlin.

Whoa!

Everybody out...

We done it again!

Fort Abercrombie, folk.

Mr. Bender?

I'm Bender.

Compliments of

colonel Worden, sir.

He'd like you to ride over to

the fort when you're rested.

Well, I was gonna sail

on the Sioux Princess.

Have you got any idea what

he wants to see me about?

There's been some

killings at Fargo.

They've burned the homes of

most of the Bonanza farmers.

- Indians?

- Well, according to Mr. Stowe,

it was made to look like the

Sioux were mixed up in it,

but he doesn't believe it.

Stowe wasn't burned out, was he?

Yes, sir.

It seems only the little fellas

are left now, the homesteaders.

Mr. Stowe's at

the fort now.

He and colonel Worden have been

waiting for you to get back.

For me?

I think Mr. Stowe has

some idea of organizing

a law enforcement

agency at Fargo.

Oh... well, you tell 'em I'll

wash up and be over after supper.

Well, the Sioux Princess

sails at six, sir.

Well, I'll arrange to miss that

and go with captain

Bounce on the river bird.

My compliments to

colonel Worden.

There ya are, Devlin,

that's Fargo for ya.

What's Fargo? Didn't you hear

what the lieutenant said?

Mentioned a colonel

somebody or other,

fort... somethin'

goin' on?

No, nothin' much, nothing

very interesting.

Bigtree, get our bags out of

the Sioux Princess, will ya?

I'll see you and the Mrs.

Down at the boat, huh?

Yeah, sure.

That, uh, Fargo boat,

Sioux Princess?

That's one of 'em.

T'other's the river bird,

that's ol' cap'n Bounce's tub.

She's a huff er and a puffer.

But if I was a makin' the trip,

- she's the one I'd take.

- Better boat?

Nope, but if ya sail

on the river bird,

you'd have it practically

to yourself,

and if the moon happens to

be ridin' along with ya,

and you're travelin' with

live baggage, wow!

Come on now, you slab-sided

puddle snipe.

Kick her off from back there!

Come on, now.

Now just ease yourself ta port,

ya sweet little lovin' lamb.

Swing it ta port, ya ol'

wing-tailed mudhen!

There now.

Now just sneak up on

that there landin'.

Now if that flat-footed swipe ain't

fell overboard or somethin'...

Blast ya, Nicodemus,

where ya at!!

Nicodemus, if you're sleepin',

I'll knock ya out from the

back o' your teeth, by juppy!!

Oh, back line, ya pretty

little river swan.

Shake your hips.

Shake your hips ya potbellied...

I'll tiptoe up to that

Abercrombie levee.

Nicodemus!!!

Nicodemus, if'n you're

still aboard,

you better start

runnin' up river!!

Yes, sir... coming, cap'n.

Hurry, hurry, hurry

all the time.

Wow!!

Comin' cap'n...

Nicodemus'll get it goin'!

We'll show them Abercrombie

folks how it's done,

ya pussyfootin' little moonbeam.

Hey, on shore there, somebody!

Hop aboard and throw off'n rope!

I done lost my Bosun!

What the...

Shut off them engines!

Cap'n! Cap'n Bounce, the

bell is busted!

It won't stop ringin'! Just

keep ringin' and ringin!

It's ringin' because

I was ringing it!!

Like I'm gonna ring

that neck of yours

if you don't obey orders!!

Did you want some'in, cap'n?

What do ya think them

lights is back there?!

Oh, uh.

You mean them lights way

back there in the dark?

That, you river happy

jaybird, is Abercrombie!

If you ever get me to eat

saddle of venison again,

you're going to have

to unsaddle it first.

Contrary animal, the deer,

gentle on the hoof,

tough on the plate.

Sailin' north to Fargo,

Grand Forks and Pembina!

All passengers for

the river bird,

castin' off in 20

minutes... all aboard!

River bird, mister? Nicodemus! My

Bosun'll take care of your baggage.

Pembina?

Fargo.

How 'bout you, lady?

Oh, we're married.

Well, now!

Sure good to meet

nice, clean folks.

I'm gonna puts it in my log...

I'm captain Bounce.

Nicodemus, take the folks'

baggage, and get it down there

afore we shove off, or by juppy,

off comes your bosun's ratin'

and back ta wipin' ya go!

Well, cap'n, I ain't

never stop wipin'.

I just wipes, 'n... Does

you wanna wipe as a bosun

or a low-down seaman?

Man never knows when

he's well off, he don't.

What do we owe ya?

Well, uh...

Uh, two fares ta Fargo,

that's seven dollars...

Each, and, uh, the staterooms

'll be, uh, two dollars,

for one, and then there's, uh...

The meals are extra, a

dollar each for meals.

What do we owe ya all together?

Well, let's see, that's, uh...

Seven and seven and two and two,

and two times three that's, uh,

thirty-four dollars...

I mean, thirty seven!

Wouldn't take 24, would ya?

Is we gonna argue over a coupla pennies?

Road folks, ain't we?

Glad to have seen you

again, Mr. Stowe.

Thank you, colonel.

I wish you could've talked

to Bender in my presence.

Well, we'll try to arrange

a little parley later.

I'm terribly shorthanded and

have plenty to handle down here,

but if you need us badly, I'll

try to get a company up to ya.

- Good-bye, Mr. Stowe, and pleasant trip.

- Thank you, colonel.

Good night.

Good night.

You better get aboard

and claim your stateroom.

It's number one... The

one with the door on it!

Mr. Stowe,

I'm glad ta see ya.

Here we go.

Calm yourself, Sandy.

Nothing's gonna happen to us.

We won't turn up the

well-known toes

until ol' man time

catches up with us.

It didn't take old man time

long to catch up with us.

Ooh, you're hurt!

A little.

Please...

Tell Mrs. Stowe...

Not to sell to Bender.

John, do you think there'll

be any more trouble?

- No.

- Why wouldn't Mr. Stowe

want his wife to sell to Bender?

That's the question.

This is the boiler room.

Mr. Bender sailed on

the Sioux Princess,

so he couldn't have

done any shooting.

This must be it... It's the

only one with a door on it.

Lookin' for me, folks?

I think this is our

stateroom, Collins.

Only, uh, what counts

around these parts is...

Who gets there first.

Let's take the other room, John.

I think Collins wants

us to have this room.

Well, I guess a man

traveling with his wife

should have a room

with a door on it.

Didn't hurt your gun

hand, did ya, Devlin?

I can still...

Write with it.

A man's got ta watch hisself.

An accident like that could

put him out of business, huh?

See ya.

Look out now, you sweet

little hunk a misery.

Look out... she's right

up ahead there.

Port ta helm, Nicodemus!

Comin', cap'n.

Now here she comes... Look out now.

Look... drop.

Drop, you sneakin' cousin

of a sneakin' catfish!

Pop your innards!

Bust is coming!!

Get over there!!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes